somebody helps me ONE TIME with somewhere to go and you make it look like ive been this pampered pregnant person. I was so tired from being completely sabotaged lied about and degraded and abused day after day while pregnant, that someone gave me a ride around midvale and brought me to a hotel so that I could sleep because im so exhausted from going and going all the time and on my own trying to secure employment and and appropriate housing all alone with no help or compensation of any kind EVER! and u use the one time someone helps me as a reason to say that im "pampered".......I should have known but didnt. my boss told me not to come to work for the last two days, I got kicked out of a dv shelter for no reason while having an active threat by two different groups of people to beat me until I miscarry my 12 week pregnancy and im exhausted. so you fucking bought the fraud again thinking you were helping me and funny how she had no problem lying her ass off to you to get in with you after I did all the hard stuff. I was the one that hasnt had sex since becoming pregnant and I was the one that didnt want some man pounding away at my vagina while pregnant. im also the one thats been sick consistantly for 3 WEEKS. LACI R ISSEL

Obviously im motified that ive gone through all this hardship once again to be confused with a dishonest lying kniving schemer that would risk your money to "get something she didnt earn while taking advantage of me at twelve weeks pregnant and completely exhausted from the droves of other girls that have done the same thing to me. My name is Laci R Issel (unfortunately, im the actual real life Laci that was born with this name and goes through hell and hi water to survive because being the real one only seems to equal pain, suffering and never ending hardship) Im the woman who has always written this blog as well as the facebook accounts as well as serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com , quallychalet.tumblr.com and countless other blogs throughout the last eleven years. I am the real Laci R Issel that is in this photo with this motel recept. This has been one of the first times I have allowed someone to do anything for me and only allowed it based on being two exhausted to pass up he lp this time. Laci r issel

I hate my life

All week this has been me on the inside. You justkeep treating me like your little soldier girl chess piece toy that doesnt have my own plans in life while you completely overlook and disregard my feelings as you have the nerve to try and arrange marriage me off to men im not even remotely interested in as if im some sort of overseas mailorder bride. Lets put it this way, if you didnt ask me yourself and I didnt agree, we are not getting married. I am not just gonna marry some stranger that I just met, nor am I marrying any past love interest/boyfriend that ive already moved on from years and years ago (MARC ARNAUD!-not to be confused with mark zuckerburg of which I was never under some false fantasy/delusion that I was with-unlikewhat you reported to the world.).... Although I still worry and care about many individuals in the world, id appreciate it if you'd stop removing me out of the entire equation of my own life at all times when you so selfishly assume that my actions/clothing/geography has anything to do with you. Also, after eleven years of poverty, stop assuming I work for you when you dont pay me. You pay another woman $200/chore that I complete at a shelter when im at one.....that equals $6000/month that you pay another person for my energy expenditure everytime I stay somewhere for a month and do my chore. You make me live off $750/mo while you pay another woman $6000 to capitolize on the forced hardship you make me endure so another selfish bitch can get something for nothing. I dont know which woman this is that is capitolizing on me in this manner but seriously it doesnt and shouldnt fucking matter. The point is that she should be required to put some effort into her own life for monetary compensation as im forced to put in all the effort into my own life w ithout any compensation at all (SLAVERY NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO DRESS IT UP AND PASS IT OFF AS SOMETHING ELSE). And yes, ive known about it since August 2013 Laci R Issel

I've also never been a strict person and am not a fruad in my own life. Never have I believed in strict parenting EVER!!!!!!! i dont believe in raising laxidazical rude children but I believe in them having a wonderful childhood full of learning and room to explore their own attributes and grow. Im tired of you making a fool out of me....I went to look for rooms for rent and you treated me like i was going from house to house fucking people...not only that but some guy got down on one knee in front of me today and as usual, since I didn't know him, I assumed it was a joke or "the eye" for the female that actually went to my old address in San Mateo on Hamlet Street where you actually insulted me by having the fraud proposed to in my old bedroom that is an add on in the back yard to the rest of the house. Im mortified.....Im mortified that the world is in love with me and instead this fruad is living my life including going to my old residences claiming to have lived there and being proposed to because they think she is the real me.......MORTIFIED!!!!!!!!!! i DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO MARRY ME IF THEY DONT WANT TO MARRY ME BUT TO LIE TO THE WORLD AND PASS THIS PERSON OFF AS ME IN ALL MY OLD CHILDHOOD PLACES IS GOING TO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LACI iSSEL LAC

Ok so you are going to keep lying about everything until you get your way. Let me put it to you this way. Everytime you fucking threaten or blackmail me its going on the internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTIME.......I AM SICK OF YOUR SHIT TO THE POINT WHERE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE, I ALREADY HAVE HITS ON MY LIFE FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN YOUR LIES!!!!! So here you go, no arranged marriage is happening of any sort. .... i am not giving away my things to charity because you fucking lied about me (things i paid for with my income that you said were bought as a result of a "payday" you thought you could convince the world that i had intended on using my first born son for).....I am not allowing you to continue to keep me unemployed anymore by using my interviews to aid another rediculous no moral having bitch that is willing to lie and say were her words, I am not going to fucking starve for you ever again as I already put in my starvation time (7 1/2 months of a pregnancy with my first born son silus where while I was pregnant you were telling the same things to people that you are now---that I was jealous of some other pregnant person and that i was inventing a pregnancy in order to be a part of her world, as well as that i was using someone elses pregnancy in order to eat...your doing the same thing to me now when Im close to eleven weeks pregnant.) I also starved while I wasn't pregnant for extended periods of time off and on over an eleven year period but I guess conveniently the cameras weren't rolling then were they? Also, you telling people that I am coming (orgasming) in various places is complete fiction and isn't fucking me as I am so fucking sick from morning sickness that the last thing I am into is sex!!!!!! I am tired of being portrayed as some sort of sexual predator because you want to fuck the girl of your choice and be able to come so you blame your sex act on me, change up the location you say it happened in and then try to tell me that I am some sort of pedifile coming in front of children that you give access to me in private confines. I am not joining the military as I have had to deal with nothing other than harsh regiment for 11 years so far and never in a million years will you be "enlisting" me or my unborn child into it. (You have another thing coming) I have never gotten physical with or attacked anyone in my entire life but Im warning you to stop pushing me as I am seriously at the point where I am being threatened by everyone on different sides because of your careless fucking lies that you think are harmless that add up and after a certain period of time become an avalanche headed right for me. I love and care about the planet, always have and started doing various things a long time ago that allieviated peoples stress and credit was given to the wrong individuals but you have taken the kindness of my heart and turned it into something that is absolutely mandatory or there will be consequences that you routinely try to enforce in my life (something you care nothing about). I am done with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make no mistake, there will be no more anything for you and i wont even lose any sleep about dropping you like the bad habit that you are!!!!!!! I have had it!!!!!!! You do nothing but abuse the very person that has loved and helped you all along and Im not giving you another milisecond of my life or anymore of my time. I have hardly any time left obviously as you have thanked my struggles for you with death, sabotage, institutionalization and false imprisonment.....I no longer anguish over people that dont even consider me a person with feelings because the only person you think matters in life is you.......You lie about everything about me. You say that I don't pay for my train/bus/max tickets you say that I shoot cum from my vagina and then video tape another female that does and pass it off as me, you humiliate me in the most inhumane ways and make people scared of and embarassed of me for no reason, you lie about everything. You change my results of my aptitude tests out with another female at all times making people think that I am in the 20 & 30%tile range when my actual scores are ALWAYS in the 90percentile range. You've systematically destroyed and ruined my life and I am miserable at all times due to the fact that my life is in ruins for no reason....you lied about sexual fantasies you said that I had about wanting a "daddy" figure in my life and that I wanted to be raped. Your lies have limited me and kept me in a warped fucking reality that nobody even half way normal deserves.....and you've done all of this just to get your girl or man of choice in with elite groups and organizations and to help them acheive celebrityism. I have nothing left of myself as you have milked me dry of any possible attribute I naturally had and passed it off as the attributes of so many other people that I couldn't possibly count. I am gonna do what I want when I want as my time on earth draws to a close and I mean to you that although I still care about the world I am not the one that is hurting it nor am I responsible for anyones suffering as I dont hurt people ever.....I am tireed of the entire thing and my kid is staying with me and its father provided that I dont find out that the father is some sort of bad person. ...I am not marrying anyone or agreeing to marry anyone by any of my actions or lack of actions. The only marriage will be a consential one where the actual man that wants to marry me asks me himself........Laci Issel

How much more can I show you how much I have run out of patience for this entire shananigan circus side-show that the world is caught up in but that is practically killing me slowly without any humaneness at all. How much more can I tell you that I just dont care about your wants, your needs, your problems and basically anything that you sobb about while having a house, a car, a family, friends, actual credit cards, the abilty to prosper and grow, time for events that bring additional happiness to your already full lives while you expect my continued misery while you never even consider me as a person, while you never even include me in an equation that literally only includes me, while you threaten harass and keep me homeless, while you lie and say that I am making up a pregnancy that is very real because you say Im jealous of some other girl that isn't even pregnant but the world is being made to believe that my pregnancy is hers...........how much more is it that you think I can handle of everything that is technically of my life you crediting to someone else, while you openly mock and humiliate the very person you have so much respect for, how many more times will you hear via radio that I am the most loving kind caring individual think that Im her when you hear me and then turn around and treat me like the scum of the earth that she actually is.......how much more of this shit do you really think Im gonna endure and I ask you a logical question one more fucking time, what the fuck is it that you think is in it for me? There has been nothing in it for me ever, I started all this eleven years ago to help people because i loved, cared and worried extensively about the population of earth but now you've taken someones kind actions and have actually turned me into some sort of hiddeous thing that you've painted such an erroneous reputation for that I no longer want to help you actually destroy me.......I've been done with you for quite awhile and yet still have extended myself repeatedly because your guilt trips have actually worked on my still soft heart on occassion but one day I wont be around for you to harass, antagonize, threaten, penalyze, lie about and slowly and methodically kill over an extended time period untill you "get your way" so you dont have to "give up your comforts"....one day I'll be gone and who the fuck is gonna fall for your spoiled brat shit then..........Laci Issel, Lac

By the way, it wasn't a dud. Had the button actually been pushed, MY HEAD WOULD HAVE EXPLODED BECAUSE THE PERSON THAT YOU THINK HAS A DUD, DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT. aS USUAL YOUR CONCERN WAS DIRECTED TOWARD THE PERSON THAT EVERYONE WANTED TO BE CODDLED AND WORRIED ABOUT BUT THAT THERE IS NO DANGER OF HAVING ANYTHING HAPPEN WITH BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE MECHANISM...iT WAS ANOTHER STUNT TO MAKE YOU CRY AND VALUE SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED INTO THINKING IS THE REAL THING THAT IS NOW RULING YOUR WORLDS TO SOLIDIFY THE MADE UP SCENARIO THAT HAS NOW BECOME THE BIGGEST ACTUAL HOAX OF THE 21ST CENTURY.....iM THE REAL THING AND IM THE ONE TO WORRY ABOUT BUT YOU WERE TOLD ALL THIS MADE UP SHIT TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE THE CROCK OF REDICULOUS SHIT YOU NOW CONSIDER FACT........yOU THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE PERSONALLY i DONT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE, MY LIFE IS DESTROYED THANKS TO THE MANY FIASCOS THAT WENT INTO CREATING A FALSE PROFIT THAT YOU ALL HAVE COME TO BELIEVE WAS GENUINE BUT THAT WAS JUST USING ME AND MY LIFE TO BUILD THE EMPIRE SHE NOW RULES THANKS TO CAREFUL AND WITHOUT END MANIPULATIONS OF FACTS, EVENTS AND OF COURSE TRUTH. iM NOT EVEN AFRAID OF THE BUTTON BEING PUSHED BECAUSE THEN i DONT HAVE TO ENDURE THIS SHIT FOR ANOTHER DAY. i HAVE NO RESPECT FOR PRACTICALLY ANYONE ANYMORE SO i WOULDN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY ON ANY END OF THE SPECTRUM BECAUSE i AM MORTIFIED THAT ANY OF THIS SHIT IS ACTUALLY WASTING ANYONE'S TIME. i HAVE NOTHING LEFT AND AM BEYOND DEPRESSED-WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T BE-LOOK AT THE KIND OF THINGS THAT I AM UP AGAINST ALL DAY EVERY DAY WITHOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING AT ALL. i HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE SO WHO GIVES A FUCK SO THE ONE PIECE OF ADVISE i DO HAVE FOR YOU IS ....... TRY TO WATCH IT WHEN IT COMES TO ME BECAUSE ALTHOUGH i HAVE NEVER LASHED OUT OR ATTACKED AN ACTUAL PERSON ON PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH EVER, DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU JUST HAVE THIS LICSENCE THAT YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO TEST THE THEORY.....AFTER ALL, I AM AND HAVE BEEN SICK OF YOUR SHIT FOR QUITE AWHILE (YEARS) BUT HAVE BEEN ENDURING IT WITH THE END NOTION THAT MAYBE YOUR SELFISH PRICK ASS WOULD FINALLY SEE THAT LOVE COULD TURN THINGS AROUND BUT i GIVE UP AND YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE (SEEMS LIKE VERY FEW KNOW HOW) AND i AM NOT IMPLYING THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE ON MY BELIEFS iM JUST SAYING THAT i THOUGHT IF I HELD OUT LONG ENOUGH THAT YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT I WANTED YOU TO HAVE THE THINGS YOU WANTED TO HAVE ALL ALONG BUT THAT I DESERVED ALSO THE RIGHT TO PROSPER AND AMOUNT TO SOMETHING, BUT IM TIRED OF HOLDING OUT FOR SOMETHING THAT OBVIOUSLY ISN'T HAPPENING, SO i'VE TAKEN ALL THE ABUSE IM GONNA TAKE FROM U IS WHAT iM SAYING, SO ULTIMATELY YOU EITHER FIND ANOTHER FUCKING HOBBIE OTHER THAN TEARING MY LIFE APART AND SELLING IT OFF IN SEGMENTS AND PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSING ME OR i QUIT ON YOU PERMANATELY. LIKE I SAID THERE IS AND HAS BEEN NOTHING IN IT FOR ME. Laci Issel Lac 1:03

by the way, last night I stayed in a shelter near greek town, that you cannot get into until 10 pm, i was not at a hotel overnight from 9/24/13-9/25/13, but was Americas Best Value Inn and Suites the night before last in room 111 and still I have not slept with anyone or blown anyone since being in Utah....Last time I had sex was August 6th, 2013 (My life, not the life of the fraud you just credited with my existance today) He looked like Simon Cowell (the man that I slept with on the 6th of August but of course wasn't him) So im tired of you giving away my life and experiences as someone elses while crediting my actual life and experiences to a fruad at all times.....laci issel lac 12:29pm

read serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com william.....there is a new entry dedicated to you....laci issel lac 12:21pm

whoever you slept with this evening with the gaping vagina wasnt me.....I was in room 111 (americas best value and suites hotel) and was alone so as usual you were under the impression you were with me while I was alone sobbing in a hotel room about how im constantly being used and set up like this, including everything that has already happened to me being taken out on me as if I was the one who did it to someone else....I found out someone put shit possibly in my sushi at Banana Leaf Cafe in vegas and now in the new state the people that did it to me there are acting like they are getting even with me (im assuming that theyre passing me off ass the one who did it to someone else) as the one that deserves to have it happen again because they arent telling you the truth...they're making people believe that im getting my just deserts for malicious actions I never made....im so tired and stressed out from all this....I cannot get this heartless bunch of people out of my life. they have no feelings at all for what they do to me creating false reps for me to deal with all day.....so you were under the impression that I was with a man in the last couple days/nights and I was alone but in casinos for the two nights prior (wasnt vegas) and tonight Im in the state I moved to on august 15 to get away from and rid of these people......so that means whatever she said and did in her hotel room with another man will be passed off as my life and all the frustration and tears I cried over not being able to move on with my life will be passed on as her struggles, once again lending credibility to a fraud that is using my very breath as a stepping stool to success......if you've had sex from august 7 th on until now (9/24/13) you werent with me......im tired of being passed off as anything other than the intelligent, enduring, valuable woman that has yet to give up but wishes she could.....im tired of you humiliating the wrong person........laci issel. lac

The only conversation I had with a man that could have been used for her to look endeering, kind, and like a decent conversationalist was at the bar at the red garter when I told a man that I liked his hair and his overall look but that I wasnt flirting with him and how ive sworn off men for awhile because they only act interested in me until theycan get to the girl they really want (one of the sides or the newest celebrity that just used my life and writingto become one etc but that I wasnt a lesbien at all, just tired of being used...all this said over a glass of red wine that I had for the first time since finding out I pregnant in two months. (Im allowed red wine once in awhile during pregnancy......I know this as fact and know it wont hurt my developing child......so basically every conversation I ve had I suspect is being passed off as the brain child of another broad that doesnt want to put effort in her rise to success....im so tired of this. Laci issel Lac

im so tired of you calling me "cool" as you award my life to a fraud based on me not understanding what the hell is going on around me based on me being autistic. I am not making deals or agreements by staying at any hotel I am simply trying to save money. I dont care what street the hotel is on, what the name of the hotel is or any other stuff you use to cash in on my life. Im so tired of you giving away my life as if Im not even alive and I watch these people that are from other countries so happy that i've chosen a hotel that says america in the title, so they can take the fraud that they like better with them oversees after all the fucking anguish I've been through for them to just take a girl that wouldn't even be considered without all my efforts (she would have had no pack mule to ride in on)...Once again I did all the life changing work to further and better my life and Tonya Harding is being allowed to go for the gold, as usual......Im so tired of doing all the work for nothing......Laci Issel

Again, no one supplied me with hundreds of dollars. Any money I had I actually earned and I didn't earn it laying on my back. (no offense to anyone that feels the need to earn money that way but that isn't ever going to be me after watching my mother go through it)......Just assume that you have been lied to everytime you hear that i was "given" hundreds of dollars....It is rare if someone even gives me $20 and yet all the freaken time they say they are giving me hundreds of dollars....Im just wondering where all that money is actually going? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........Laci Issel Laci

you need to stop buying and selling my personal material objects that I purchased with my own income....you sure havent offered me any money for anything in my possession or any of my things at all so I dont know who your buying from but they have no right to sell anything of mine and profit off of it......I dont even care if they told you that I stole the item from them based on the fact that that is a complete lie as I dont steal from anyone, im the one that is obviously taken advantage of repeatedly and stolen from, with strangers prifitting off of things that werent for sal...who the fuck are these people that are fucking strangers in my life that continue to try and profit from me continuously when they have no right to even be in my life but have gotten awefully comfortable profitting off a strangers life...is this why im constantly being accused of theft? they tell you I stole something and then try to "sell" it to pay a "debt" they claim I owe them?.....I hate my life.......laci issel....lac

something that was already stated a bazillion times in at least three other blogs but that you wouldnt fucking read so youve managed to put my life in danger once again based on your ignorance and how fucking lazy you are to read the blogs that have been there all along to clear your lack of understanding up and save the time, energy and resources of everyone you got involved that didnt have to be if you could have read the blogs ages ago....they've literally have been there for years, yet youve managed to pass off all your refusal to get facts straight as some sort of wrong doing on my part......this goes out to everyone that participated (the ones that just wouldnt read that started all the hatred toward me years ago)I dont blame the people that were dragged into it believing that facts were congirmed as true happenings by upper management and government officials......

I wanted to mention that I later got my pay from Results provo after waiting on the opposite side of the street for acouple hours hoping they'd stop playing the game and just give me my earnings. BY THE WAY, FOR THE BAZILLIONTH TIME......I WASNT THE ONE WHO PUT THE PAYDAY CANDYBAR ON MY CHILD AND THEN TOOK A PHOTO, THAT WAS DONE BY A MALE NURSE!!!!! GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO MESS WITH SOMEONES EARNINGS JUST BECAUSE YOUVE MANAGED TO SO INSENSITIVELY THROW YOURSELF INTO MY LIFE AND TRY TO JUDGE A SITUATION WITHOUT ANY ACTUALLY RESEARCH THAT WOULD HAVE MADE YOU PUBLICALLY LOOKED THE THE ASSHOLE THAT YOU REALLY ARE AGES AGO.....YOU HAVE MESSED WITH MY LIFE WHEN YOU HADNO RIGHT TO EVEN BE IN MY LIFE IN THE FIFIRST PLACE AND CARELESSLY PUT MY LIFE IN DANGER WITH YOUR LACK OF INFORMATION NUMEROUS TIMES....AND AS I TYPE THIS U HAVE THE NERVE TO MOCK ME FROM OUTSIDE MY WINDOW....TO SAY YOUVE GONE TO FAR WOULD BE POINTLESS BASED ON THE FACT THAT YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR MY LIFE TO BEGIN WITH.....ALSO, THE MYSPACE BLURB ABOUT ME IS MY AUTHORSHIP EXCEPT FOR THE COMPUTER GLITCH THAT ADDED "NO PAYLOAD, NO PAYLOAD, NO PAYLOAD" AT THE TOP OF THE "ABOUT ME" SECTION".....ANOTHER TRIAL I WAS PUT THROUGH AND JUDGED FOR UNNECESSARILY JUST BASED ON YOU NOT ASKING OR TALKING TO ME ABOUT IT....IM SOO TIRED OF YOU ALMOST GETTING ME KILLED....FIND A HOBBY OTHER THAN DISECTING PORTIONS OF MY LIFE WITHOUT EVEN GETTING YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT. LACI ISSEL LAC

I dont use sex to "make payments" you must have me confused, as usual, with someone else......im, eight weeks pregnant and wont be sleeping with anyone at all as the thought grosses me out based on the fact that im not with the father currently and he is the only person I would consider having sex with while pregnant, below is an email I sent five hours ago......laci issel. lac

Laci Isselto Brian5 hours ago, In two states at once is all I can tell u.  No one still has any actual concern for me and as I face my own mortality, I was just informed that on top of the cruelty ive already endured that I will be forcd to die alone with no one at all to see, before I dont see this earth any more....im actually trying to forget all this (hence the word vacation) but obviously my change of location only changed the scenery in which another misinformed population is located and harasses me in.  Other than that its been another two days full of demands and ultimatums by people that haven't done anything other than create hardship in my life but portray themselves as if they've been giving me money, as if they've paid for lodging, as if they offered moral or emotional support EVER, as if they've helped with transportation, as if they havent bitched about me every step of the way while I was making them millions and all they offered was pain, anguish, hatred and suffering.I cannot believe the gall these people have when I didnt invite them into my life in the first place.And you?Laci Issel

went to Results Provo today to go get my final pay from working for four days before i was fired because I was accused of trying to date a man that I have no interest in when really he fired me based on him not wanting me to have any income. So, i show up to the office and conveniently my check is no where to be found and Im just out of luck according to them.....This is the second time this company has pulled this shit with me and my employment......Conveniently no one knows what I am talking about when I go to pick up my pay for working like a normal fucking person. I just traveled two hours out of my way, to get some of my own hard earned money and its nowhere to be found. I have no money, at all with the exception of the $20 i was able to overdraft from my account in order to pay for the train ride here which i wouldn't have done if I would have known that I wasn't going to have a way to reimburse the account....I would have gotten at least $80 if i was gonna have to pay a fucking $35 dollars for an overdraft fee ($20 definitely wasn't worth it based on not even getting the same amount as the overdraft fee)....i was going to rent myself a hotel room just to get away from all the fucking aweful kids and adults that continuously treat me like Im their slave..........Im so glad I no longer work for a company that i cannot rely on being honest, at all....My theory is that they are gonna give my check debit card pay that says Results on it to another person to use to make her look like she is me..........Ive had it with being SEVERELY ABUSED AND INCONVENIENCED so that someone else looks like they are me......also a man by the name of Tim, put his hands all over me when I was simply requesting to talk to the manager that was supposed to be holding my check and actually attempted to reach inside my purse for my wallet. Then he grabbed my bicept and then began grabbing at my purse strap and backpack, apparently no one seems to recognize person boundaries nor accepts that they aren't allowed to assault me. Essentially people continue to get away with abusing me in every possible way, from passing me off as a desparate woman trying to date a man that doesn't want me to physically abusing and humiliating me at all times the world has been permitted to do what ever they want to me.......Im growing tired of the entire thing, no picture this time based on the fact that I am no longer at the domestic violence shelter that has a picture of me on it, I left yesterday around 5 pm, two days early and had to spend the night thirty minutes north of the DV shelter that i left yesterday, and no, i haven't been having sex with anyone..by the way, no one gave me $300 again, they lied as usual, they gave it to someone but they never give it to me....Laci Issel Lac

can you read, mr. president? or do i have to do that also and not get paid the four hundred thousand dollars you do, to read a fucking blog that would have cleared up all these accusations years ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i didn't realize being president meant that you could ignore facts and send an innocent woman to prison for things that the girl your supporting politically actually did to me.......try fucking reading dickhead, the answers are all there and in writing for the entire fucking world to see, from serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com, to facebook (laci issel both accounts) to quallychalet.tumblr.com, fallingupcheeky.tumblr.com, mdjunction.com (lostandshunned), sassparent.blogspot.com, wavelengthsandprocesses.blogspot.com the list of answers are right the fuck in front of you and have been for all the fucking years of your sensless abuse and they are all blogs authored by me (lac, laci issel) dumbfuck so how are you gonna explain to the fucking globe that you continuely pursued an innocent woman's death and imprisonment just because you wouldn't fucking read the fucking blogs put there to clear up the lies? I have had all i can take of your false fucking allegations while you actively have repeatedly had me beaten, arrested and tried to globally make some sort of fucking "example" out of me for no reason when i was innocent of wrong doing the entire time, you even accused me of theft at Deseret Industries when i didn't fucking steal anything from there based on the fact that i never steal!!!!!!!!!!, ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!! for any reason!!!!!! based on the fact that i get my life yanked out from underneath me (my life is continuously stolen from me every fucking day of my life and you help a fraud capitolize on every bit of hard work i have ever done every day of my life), everyday I am stolen from, i hate being stolen from and dont have much tolerance for theft at all....the "take care" movement has gotten totally out of hand, by the way, and has basically become a legalized excuse to fucking steal something from someone who earned it....im starting to have no faith at all in yu to put it mildly. Im embarassed that you wont read a blog before you convict a person so you obviously haven't explored every option before trying to send someone to prison that is innocent and that is not the american way according to our constitution (which has never been recognized by this country toward me for some reason that i dont appreciate considering i literally was doing the work of the fucking secret service, and the god damn military and for fucking free i did it for this country asshole!!!!!!!!).....IM NOT GOING TO PRISON FOR SOMETHING I DIDN'T DO WRONG, IM NOT POLLUTING MY FREE SPIRIT WITH FURTHER UNWANTED REGIMENT AFTER MY ELEVEN YEAR STINT IN AN UNNECESSARY BOOT CAMP JUST BASED ON THE FACT THAT YOU WANT TO HURT A FREE SPIRIT THAT NEVER DID ANYTHING TO DESERVE THE FUCKING "TOUGH LOVE" THAT YOU WERE ATTEMPTING TO DISH MY WAY (I HADN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) .....THERE SHOULD BE NO PRISON OR MILITARY ULTIMATUM IN MY LIFE IF YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE AND SUPPORT THE CONSTITUTION OF THE COUNTRY YOUR GETTING PAID $400,000 TO MANAGE ASSHOLE!!!!!!!!!! ACCORDING TO YOU, OUT OF TWO EQUALS, ONLY ONE PERSON GETS TO PURSUE THE OPPORTUNITIES OF AMERICA WHILE YOU FORCE THE OTHER INTO SLAVERY AND IF I HAD NO PRIOR ASPIRATIONS OF JOINING THE MILITARY (WHICH I DIDN'T EVEN THOUGH I ENDURED ELEVEN CRUEL ASS YEARS OF THIS SHIT) , IF I HAD NO PRIOR ASPIRATIONS OF JOINING THE MILITARY THEN TECHNICALLY YOUR SUPPORTING THE SAME SLAVERY THAT YOU SUPPOSEDLY DONT SUPPORT...... ARE YOU MAD AT WHITE PEOPLE? FOR THE FOUR HUNDRED YEARS OF SLAVERY? I DONT BLAME YOU BUT SERIOUSLY YOUR ATTEMPTING TO TAKE OUT YOUR AGRESSION ON AN INNOCENT WOMAN THAT IS JUST TRYING TO LIVE HER LIFE AND GUESS WHAT? IM FUCKING NATIVE AMERICAN ASSHOLE!!!!!! OUR PEOPLE HAVE BEEN ENSLAVED THE ENTIRE FUCKING TIME!!!!!!!!!!!! OUR SLAVERY NEVER FUCKING ENDS, YOU COME ONTO PRIVATE LAND AND TAKE OUR CHILDREN FROM US, YOU PUT US ON GOVERNMENT HIT LISTS, I COULD GO ON AN ON ABOUT THE HORRORS OF BEING NATIVE AMERICAN IN A COUNTRY THAT WONT EVEN PROMOTE A NATIVE AMERICAN INTO GOVERNMENT WHEN THEY ARE THE BEST CANDIDATE FOR THE JOB (AS HAPPENED WITH ME OVER THE LAST ELEVEN YEARS ASSHOLE, I WAS THE SMARTEST, THE MOST EXPERIENCED, THE MOST OBSERVANT, THE ONE THAT NEVER GAVE UP, THE ONE THAT CLEARLY HAD EARNED COUNTLESS POSITIONS WITHIN GOVERNMENT INFOSTRUCTURE INCLUDING SECRET SERVICE A MULTITUDE OF TIMES YET THERE WAS ALWAYS A REASON TO SWITCH RESULTS AND PROMOTE A BLOND HAIRED FAIR SKINNED, BLUE EYED BEAUTY TO THE TOP OF THE TOTEM POLE AND MAKE ME START OVER FOR THE FIVE MILLIONTH TIME!!!!!!!! IM SICK OF YOUR SHIT!!!!!!!!! TRY READING SERENABEANFELD.BLOGSPOT.COM AT LEAST, AND THEN ADD QUALLYCHALET.TUMBLR.COM AS A NIGHT CAP.......AND BY THE WAY, HAVEN'T HAD SEX SINCE August 6th 2013 in Las Vegas. nice try though........Laci Issel Lac

HEY DUMBASSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU'RE LISTENING TO THE WRONG PERSON'S THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KEEP TELLING YOU THIS AND YOU KEEP TRYING TO TRY ME FOR VARIOUS THINGS THAT AREN'T EVEN COMING FROM ME, THAT iM NOT THINKING, THAT I HAVE NO KNOWLEDGE OF THAT AREN'T EVEN A PART OF MY DAY, SO OBVIOUSLY, ..........YOUR LISTENING TO THE WRONG FUCKING PERSON'S THOUGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND YOUR TRYING TO SEND ME TO PRISON FOR SOMEONE ELSES THOUGHTS, AND ACTIONS THAT AREN'T EVEN MINE AND THOUGHTS IM NOT EVEN THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM TIRED OF YOU BEING ABLE TO MESS WITH MY LIFE BY PASSING SOMEONE ELSES LIFE OFF AS MINE!!!!!!!!! i AM SO FUCKING TIRED OF YOU, i AM 8 WEEKS PREGNANT AND I KNOW WHAT YOUR DOING, YOUR TRYING TO FORCE ME TO RUN ALL OVER THE COUNTRY LIKE YOU DID WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY SON SILUS BECAUSE YOU THINK I AM THIS ARMY WOMAN ACTION FIGURE GAME PIECE----NOT GONNA HAPPEN, NOT GOING TO PRISON FOR SOMETHING THAT I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH AND I AM NOT GOING TO CONTINUE BEING BULLIED BY THE SAME GOVERNMENT THAT IS SUPPOSED TO PROTECT ALL OF ITS CITIZENS.......YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE DUMBEST PERSON ON EARTH TO HAVE NOT CONSIDERED BY NOW THAT I AM OBVIOUSLY BEING SET UP AND TERRORIZED AND SABOTAGED, MORNING NOON AND NIGHT. YOU THINK i AM "DOING" BY DREAMING OF PAST LOVE INTRESTS---WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE THAT DONT LET SOMEONE DREAM ABOUT SOMEONE THAT THEY ONCE LOVED? YOUR THE SICKO, NOT ME!!!!!! GO TO HELL, AND I RESERVE THIS ONLY FOR SPECIAL PEOPLE THAT HAVE TRIED TO DESTROY ME IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN SOME PERSON OUT THERE WANTS SOMETHING THEY DONT WANT TO HAVE TO WORK FOR..........MY DREAMS ARE DREAMS, MY LIFE IS MY LIFE AND MY LACK OF SEX LIFE FOR THE LAST DECADE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD SEX AND YOUR ALWAYS TRYING TO FIND REASONS TO SEND PEOPLE TO A FUCKING BRIG FOR HAVING SEX----YOU DEMENTED FUCK, SEX IS A NORMAL FUNCTION THAT EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO THAT SHOULD NEVER BE PUNISHED WITH FALSE IMPRISONMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE AND WHEN YOU SENT ME THERE THE LAST FUCKING TIME, I WAS FUCKING CELIBATE MORON AND NOT BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID OF YOU, I WAS STILL NAIVE IN BELIEVING THAT I COULD FIND SOMEONE THAT TREASURED THAT I WAITED FOR THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!! LACI ISSEL LAC

I urge you to read serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com - im a victim of domestic violence at a domestic violence shelter, I have a full time job, I just left vegas in the middle of the night to flee from the abuse thirteen days ago, moved out of the state of nevada, and I have only been at this DV violence shelter for seven days, and im as usual being taken advantage of as a person and told that im the one taking advantage when im in desparate need of refuge from the terror ive been subjected to and an active attempt to sell me into prostitution in vegas....they have led people to believe once again that I am some other person than I actually am an just found out that there was a woman that stayed at this shelter and left before I got to this place , named "Lecie" (a little to close to my own name to make me feel comfortable about whats really going on in my life behind the scenes that no one is telling me or anyone else about.....I was told after seven days of being here that I should be asked to leave....ive done all my chores and done everything I was supposed to and there would be no reason for me to have to leave as I havent raised my voice, havent done anything wrong and im an abused person......this has gone to far!!!!!!!!!!!!....im pregnant with an italian mans baby that previously grew up and resided in New York who has a mustache.......Lac (Laci R Issel)

Proof of pregnancy in the picture that I got on the 23rd of August in the new city im at after leaving vegas......im close to six weeks pregnant.....Lac (Laci R Issel)

someone has managed to get into mt account and erase all my July 2013 blogs and im not the one who did it, thats ok ill just repost all the previous pictures that I once had on there., these are some of the pictures, the rest of them ill upload later because im tired snd have to work tomororrow... (an office job, not the prostitution gig you had originally passed off as mine (dont worry i have nothing against prostitutes ive just never been one)...lac (laci issel)

Read Facebook accounts under Laci Issel (both accounts that have pictures of me, they are both mine), as you should also read www.serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com because that is where I post info also......If you want to know actually truth rather than just petty gossip designed to make you hate or fear me....Lac (Laci R Issel)

Eleven lies I counted, and this is a mild day of sabotage and lying about everything that matters......Eleven lies designed to make the world hate me, children fear me, and get another person that was never meant for what she is getting handed to her.....Im so tired of this shit that I have resorted to just caring about my immeadiate needs on a "no matter what" basis.....Im sick of the whole thing because I got kicked out of a shelter again for no reason other than to them, it was a popularity contest. Im not in a shelter to be popular, I am a 38 year old woman that has now gotten a job, moved away from vegas on the 14th of August and has taken major positive steps to get these clingy, abusive people out of my life......They again told children that I was strict, I have never in the history of earth ever believed in strict parenting, ever-it goes against the philosophy I have of allowing them to grow, discover who they are and create....being strict is a stifeling thing to a little one trying to find what makes them tick in the world.......I can tell you this now but what is so upsetting to me is that once this lie has been cleared up they will lie about something else detrimental to make you hate me and you'll believe them, and I am exhausted from you believing all the made up things about me.....I don't always catch on to what they've lied about so its impossible for me to clear up all lies told about me so that you are aware of the truth....My life and everything i had ever loved, cherished, enjoyed, gravitated toward or anything that made me happy has been destroyed and people continue to treat me like a person that i have never been and could never be, my life is being pushed and shaped in directions to directly correspond with their wants but never in directions that i actually put it in. Im tired as hell and would like to move forward and just something you should think about..., when have you ever been required to account for and be responsible for someone elses lie against you, all my time is spent spinning my wheels clearing up untruths and you actually EXPECT me to spend my time proving past greivances wrong rather than spend my life moving forward and being successful......and by the way, when is the last time you were accused of anything at all criminally or wrong doing wise just because you went to your place of residence at the end of the day? At the end of the day all of you are allowed to go home to your own homes and private lives but me, I get accused of something else rediculous if I do have somewhere to go at the end of the day and based on the geographic location of my residence.....Rediculous, and Im so sick of living this fucking double standard of never being allowed just normal things that all of you get and take for granted on a daily basis...Lac (Laci R Issel)

by the way, u were told that I had herpes, I dont have herpes no offense to anyone tha t does but the bumps on my chin are not blisters they are hard bumps that develope a hard center and just stay there.....I dont have anything else anywhere else.........lac. (laci r issel)

IM NOT A LESBIEN ROBIN ROCKEFELLAR!!!!!!!!!!!

what the hell is this on my face that prevents me from wearing makeup because I have theses bumps that r hard all over my face (they arent blisters) but never go away and scar and change the consistancy of my skin into something unrecognizeable?...theyve been there for an entire month....maybe longer.....lac (laci r issel)

Another fraud set off and in motion toward elko, nv to give a bolw job, not come, and be had sex with doggy style so they can make another dumb as a rock woman with a great body look like she's lime green worthy....because after all my natural tendancies and habits and motions brings this about (this being a "lime green" helicoptor that will land in front of her thanks to my brain that some of these women use to propel themselves to greatness while humiliating and abusing me along the way, and made to look like she just achieved the impossible, I am mortified.... (definitely not jealous but these rich men definitely dont care about quality or actual smarts now a days, but bewate of your lives intelligent women who actually were meant to succeed toward greatness becauseif they are strung out on the pussy, they'll make any ordinary woman with a great body look like they were fated for greatness, usually at my expense (and i mean literally as every ounce of emergency cash that was ever meant for me that always came from my own income was given to these girls over the last decade because of yheir pussy power while leaving me in actual danger and then forcing me to pay from a poverty level what little income i did haveand then they stole from me and my mind and then had the nerve to fucking humiliate me in favor of a woman that could have at anytime used her "in like flynn lifestyle" to stop the abuse and help her actual meal ticket (me, which she thought was him).....lac (laci R Issel

Hi, you can check out the other site serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com......IM NOT WAITING, HAVEN'T BEEN FOR AWHILE- u can look up Laci Issel on both accounts of facebook if you want, both accounts with pictures are accounts from me.......

Go to my facebook page and read entries sinceJune of 2013 (LACI ISSEL - THE ACCOUNT WITH THE VEGAS LIGHTS BEHIND ME IN MY PICTURE)

They showed you wrong pictures of what they said was my vagina.....I am not, nor have I ever been, a hermaphradite and I also don't ever wish to have a sex change......How many times does one soul have to communicate this to the world.

I dont copy and paste anything other than notes off my phone from the notebook and memo section of my pho

I'm tired of being forced by anyone into anything, don't care what entity is doing the forcing, I'm sick of it, literally. I've never forced anyone into anything in the majority of this existence and am not understanding the reason everyone is so fucking selfish to always think that I owe them anymore of my looted life. I literally don't care what entity is doing it as you've all forced me into predicaments and your ways of doing things one to many times....I'm surprised I even have had to say this as the last ten years of tears should have been your first indication.....maybe I should have had your love support and protection a long time ago and I wouldn't be this far gone, but your methodical abuse has finally caught up with me....and you because now I don't care enough about you to even do anything about it anymore.........as obviously you've cared so little for me by the way, if I go somewhere I am not running as I am not a fugitive and have never been the terrorist you made America believe I was in order to give away my life to a fraud. by the way this isn't a copy of an original text..I wrote it and I am the original the only thing I copy are email addresses from Craigslist to my email you must be watching the other person type and do things on her phone. and I'm smarter than her. Laci Renee Issel

im binging, on what ever i can because ive been in mental turmoil for many years now and nrace yourself, im gonna eat and drink some things tjat your mot used to me injesting (things i gave up for you and your causes) and i dont give a flying fuck if you call me a pig in the process, im syressed to the hilt with no love in sight, as usual

I might actually consume something that may give you a reality check and make you nervous because you've gotten so fucking spoiled with me fighting for your causes that you took me for granted...I assure you I'd rather have some portion of my own life back bit I bet your so consumed with what I can do for you and blaming me for things that have nothing to do w/me that I'd bet what's left of my life that you don't even know I'm broken hearted or that I've been sexually active because I'm sick of you requiring me to be a God damn nunnery ...have a wonderful day.. and although I wont ever be a Hooker I will however always be a woman and sometimes the only way to feel truly feminine is to have a man inside me as I've waited on some of you for so long that I feel more like a child than a woman and to be.honest I've met some wonderful men lately that seem to know exactly what I need to feel like a woman ... . .no offense to hookers at all and no I meant that I wasn't trying to get revenge (the second post below) you've had every chance to make me yours and to actually embrace the unconditional love I've been giving you all along, now I'd like to see what your made of on the unconditional side of things because if you remember correctly I was always celibate while you were having sex now I'm tired of my feminine needs going Gunmetal so rather than continue feeling neglected I've opted to do what I can about it-it isn't rocket science. Love you Lace R Issel 5/21/13 2:23PM

hopefully your not offended by the below post but sometimes i just get sick of trying to make excuses for everyones abuse toward me

What if my life over the last ten years had been yours...and then what if after living through it you were continually made to look like you were the cause of everyone's suffering when you barely survived all the monstrocities that were aimed at you. Laci Renee issel 5/21/13 1:45 pm

seriously, I'm so tired of people hurting me on purpose that I don't think ill ever recover because my ability to trust anyone is completely destroyed, so thank you to every greedy bitch who only used and abused me to circumvent having to actually put some work in that was not only memorable but actually any sort of asset to this planet so you drained me dry of any sort of lifeforce I ever had rather than to actually be a contributing entity to anything.....I'm not anyone's seal....especially a greedy as fuck piece of shit that one day will realize the error of ones ways...rot in hell (the hell you put me through is nothing compared to the legacy you have created officially for yourself) Laci Renee Issel the real one typing at 2:52 am in the morning. at this point, after repeated exposure to people hurting me on purpose I sadly report feeling absolutely no loyalty toward anyone or anything and have felt nothing but pain for a lifetime, now its your turn to "feel" as I officially have lost all feeling toward anyone I once loved, you just kept pushing me way to far.....for every ounce of love I ever gave you, you gave me false humiliations, suffering, isolation from anything that I could ever relate to or brought me happiness not to mention took from me , candy, like from a baby, anything and everything I ever loved cared about or held dear and I can only hope you are blessed with the same lack of regard for anything that would aid you in making it through an utter hell so immense that you literally pray for death every time you have to pull yourself up off the ground because the only one thing you have in life is a neverending "start over" that never leads to anything other than pain while you watch everyone around you live the life you actually created....I never tried to hurt anyone ever on purpose and went out of my way to alieviate the pain and suffering of others only to have someone kick me whenever I was down, I've never done anything other than try to twist myself in a pretzel trying to love you and didn't do it for Brownie points, did it because it comes natural to me to be concerned for you and to want to allieviate pain for you but now I realize I wasted my time energy and the air I breath on most of you...I "feel" so fucking beyond abused.and taken advantage of as I realize that I practically had to grovel just to help your selfish ass not suffer...you sure as fuck never tried to make it easy to be what you thought was me agreeing to be your Jesus....you thought you were going, aren't you in for the surprise of your life....moron, you hurt the only thing that would have done that for you....I'm so tired of anyone that has repeatedly hurt me....and all this comes from a woman that literally was robbed of ever being permitted of being vulnerable while you never stopped hurling insults that constantly referred to me being made into a man just for having the tenacity of spirit that kept me going with a will to live that helped many people from the past who sufferered catastrophies that could have annihilated anyone's will to survive, man or woman, but didn't quite ever kill the spirit inside....I lived and instead of celebrating my feminine spirit that always had at least the love I've always had toward every living thing and holding on like hell to any ounce of gentleness I ever had left, you mocked, penalized and made fun of me while stripping me further of any feminity I had left after being forced to be stronger than most men for such an extended period of time where I was being methodically hunted, stalked, abused and humiliated for the sake of people that don't feel an ounce of remorse for exposing me to it...I was offered a sex change opporation, to change me from female to male as punishment for living through it....I don't know how this has happened to me but I know that I'm taking what vulnerability and feminity I have left and just hope to God that someone finally puts you in your place before I take my last breath or at least shortly there after...revenge isn't even the word and has nothing to do with my spirit on this earth but people have killed for way less than what you've done to me, throughout the ages and someone is gonna want to sleep with some piece at night knowing there is one less hitler out there to deal with, it has nothing to do with me anymore, you did it to yourself and I'm to tired to stop people from finding fault with you and even if I wasn't to tired you'd abuse me again and seal the deal for yourself because your a moron....I might be dealing with a cognitive disorder and am not always understanding the things I'm supposed to understand but you, you've just been given way to many luxeries without paying any dues at all and that makes you a moron to try and intentionally hurt someone that's thru paying dues for a selfish population of people that does nothing other than try to hurt me.

as usual, tried to do something normal that everyone else does and suddenly I'm the bad guy....everyone so used to me sacrificing portions of my existance for them and their causes that I am litterally a bitch in their eyes whenever I attempt to resume normal function on the level that I'm used to, my life isn't a life, its their springboard for all their causes and all their hopes and dreams, there's nothing in it at all for me yet I'm treated everyday of my life as if I am so ungreatful. Laci Renee Issel 10:27 am 5/21/13,...... ............... "urine" or "your in" is all I heard him say to whoever was listening...I assume that means that someone else managed to hurt me for fame fortune or personal profit.....and I'm so numb from my entire life being given away that all I feel is.....hunger. LACI Renee Issel 2:28 AM 5/21/13...,.... . . Once upon a time there lived a neglected girl who simply wished she could twirl. But no one would let her. The End. Laci Renee Issel. 5:33 am 5/4/13

Im at the hampton inn in Prescott Valley using their computer and this older man asks to use the computer and I offer to immeadiately get off the computer so as to respect my elders but he insists that if Im not going to be much longer that he will come back in a half hour, so I agree even after multiple attempts to allow him usage......What mind fuck does he try to pull with me when he returns to the computer room and I immeadiately hop up to give him access to the computer? He actually says the following statement to me verbatum....."I certainly hope you got what you wanted accomplished because you have been most uncooperative".......I told him to get the fuck away from me with his attempt to mind fuck me after I repeatedly tried to grant him his request........in this sort of case where someone just makes shit up about you on purpose I say fuck respecting my elders......I no longer let anyone talk to me like that anymore.

Draft only as I dont need another selfish biiiiiiaaaaachh passing my words off as her own (writing from one of two of my phones)

I want to run the halls.........I want to inhale the icy air........I want to smile until my cheeks are sore....I want to laugh until I cant breathe......I want to come whenever I want.......I want a mans hands on my body (loving).....I want to dive in the ocean in Southern California.....I want to be totally surprised in a good way for once....I want someone to find and get to me for once.....I want to be on top.......I want my hair long like I used to be.......I want them to stop lying trying make me appear disgusting when they've never even been near my vagina......I want to go on a yaught......I want to fly as much as possible.......I want to get rid of this weight......I want to drive on the autobaughn.......I want to go to tibet........I want to have an ice sculpture at my wedding in an ice castle......I want laser lights in my bedroom.......I want to talk to my son and know he hears me even though he has passed away......I want to be around people that love me unconditionally......I want water when in heat.........I want to help an old person and make their day.......I want people to stop hurting me......I want to be allowed to progress.......I want to be around someone familiar and be incluye........Writen by me Laci Renee issel around March 6th 2013....

everyone was told that i got paid again, i was alerted through email that the other gorl pocketed probably another couple hundred dollars that was supposed to go to me if i had dwcided to avcept it, in case pf emergency.. now everyone is assuming i have funds to protect myself from the level of sabotage i just endured since being in prescott valley...now everyone thinks i have money when i havent had amy money at all in the five days ive been here....this is the billionth time they have pulled this shit where they give her money and say they gave it to me

Its very rare that I accept funds from any source at all unless in extreme emergencies.....I have had it with all of this blaming me for everything and then praising other women for saying they went through whati actually went through and then trying to pin their cruel transgressions on me. As well as continuing to continue adding additional responsibilities to my overworked and traumatized brain not to mention denying me even the slightest bit of love from any source.. While a particular government agency prevents me from ever being saved from this kind of cruelty by everyone that attempts to get me out of it because they want me to kill myself..it happened again last night, I was threatened with arrest for attempting to get near someone that is above the was told tjat another woman was as usual responsible for all tjat i have been emduring meaning that thet thought she was the one enduring it, this agency has kept me in hell while using me for other females for a decade. I have no more tolerance for theur constant need to use me and tjen try to use me for otherd....i have had all linds of people/agencies/organizations come in to try to save me from this cruelty only to be threatened with arrstar agency but within our wn government that was lied to and once again

im not making deals by blogging

im not making deals by blogging

Got told to get a life again after traveling to another city to try and secure shelter as well as employment

Im so tired of being abused as people seem to have been given a licsence to do what ever they want to me as I am getting kicked out of shelters after only one night and right after disclosing to shelter directors that I'm trying to secure stability and employment (4 shelters have kicked me out making it appear on the outside world as if I had done something wrong when I haven't, they seem to be getting people to believe all this made up shit because I'm being kicked out for made up reason) I checked the Craigslist add under the forums section and.found out that they are as usual being mean spirited and calling me names like fat ass and Hooker and telling me to get a life when I've been trying to get one having to go from cityto city trying to find safe lodging which.obviously no one has any intention of allowing me......I HAVENT EVEN EATEN IN FOUR DAYS. AND MENTALLY IM TRAUMATIZED AMD CAM HARDLY COGNATE WHILE WOMEN ARE STILL FUCKING MEN ALL OVER MAKING EVERYONE BELIEVE IT WAS ME WHEN IT NEVER HAS BEEN.. .HAVENT CHECKED OUT THE OTHER FORUMS SECTIONS YET BUT IM POSITIVE THEYLL BE JUST AS DEROGATORY AND CRUEL BY THE WAY I've only looked in the Prescott section haven't even tried looking at flagstaff. Laci Renee Issel

being harassed by staff at the shelter

They seem to be under the false precept that I am against a particular group of people, so they openly abuse me without even asking me what IM all about.. IM SICK OF BEING ABUSED FOR ANY REASON AT ALL, I'M ABUSED EVERYDAY

there are lots of typos because IM typing on my phone (NE was supposed to be Be, and Oman was supposed to be I'm, and chef.img was supposed to be checking) and IM not going back to the dark side DAD, IM just sick of everyone USING ME DAD While you don't offer your own flesh and blood daughter protection DAD so IM basically sick of you too DAD, don't worry MOM wants me to have a sex change for her and IM at the point where IM like fuck u both..

IM referring to my actual father no one else.

u can call my royal blue phone that was stolen from me so they could pass on my texts that I had on it as someone elses,and listen to my voice and what I have to say on my message...# is 702 239 3965.

Doesn't mean I wouldn't die for someone that actually loved Me but obviously most people have made a career out of hurting me because they think the more they hurt me the better their chances of "going" so why why would I die for any of them. By the way do not continue concocting schemes to cash in on my trust find, if anyone ever says that IM excessively trying to contact them, THEY ARE LYING AS I AM EXTREMELY CAREFUL With peoples privacy and working environments. They only people I contact repeatedly are actual family members. I have someone in my life that gives false reports on me to the powers that be in order to continue siphoning money from my trust and the powers that be never check with me for the actual story. they seem to to believe whatever they are told, which would explain all the abuse I've gone through ...IM not positive as to why Joe turned his back on me, probably got lied to.

IM at a shelter this evening, cannot camp anymore because IM always being targeted for physical injury due to everyone lying about me. I spent seven years outside without the use of shelters so I don't exactly feel bad.

I didn't eat at the shelter but IM positive they will say I did because Oman always being used as sometimes pawn piece.....they are also saying "I came" since I've been in this new city for the last twenty four hours, I didn't but my question is why am I the one considered a pervert when they are the ones obsessed with my vaginal function. And by the way, I'll come whenever I want as I've never made some sort of agreement to not come for any particular group of people, there I go assuming shot again.....why don't you all read my profile on google www.accountable@gmail.com and in the profile section it says something along the lines of. ........Quit assuming anything about me at all because your just gonna end up disappointed as well as causing chaos that doesn't need to be there since u never bother chef,king with me.......by the way IM not a pervert and I didn't sleep with anyone last night or blow anyone You shouldn't believe anyone at all when they say I've blown or have had sex because everyone has their own agenda when they use my presence for anything.

I feel upset at the moment and you can appologize all you want but I am getting tired of being targeted with actual domestic terrorism as well as physical injury when I have already lived through 45 attempts on my life, 35 beatings, 5 kidnappings and 5 rapes.....Making my fear of being targeted again after a confirmed account of one party's plans WRITTEN FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, about you is definitely not something that I have any respect for.........I have told people repeatedly, including family that i have been targeted and abused extensively only to be ignored and forced to endure it for a decade........Im livid at the moment that there is a detailed plan on MDJunction.com about how to continue to force me into predicaments and to continue terrorizing me for not adhering to their particular's groups ways of doing things.......I do not have to believe what you believe in nor do I have to live my life according to how yu live yours and I for damn shit am not required to but now explains why i have had to endure such unfair treatments while being separated on purpose from family and friends that I could relate to......They admit to altering facts and taking things away from me and this has been happening for a duration of a decade.......Im surprised I lived through everything only to be called a terrorist in the end when I was the one being terrorized........I AM NOT PREGNANT, NEVER CLAIMED TO BE PREGNANT, AM NOT A LESBIEN AS A MATTER OF FACT IM NOT EVEN BISEXUAL, I AM NOT A TERRORIST AND i WAS NEVER TRYING TO GET WITH CELINE DION'S HUSBAND RENE CHARLES (THERE ARE OTHER RENE'S IN THE WORLD AND ALTHOUGH I WISH TO NOT OFFEND CELINE DION OR HER HUSBAND I AM NOT SURE WHY EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE IS MADE TO LOOK SO REDICULOUS WHEN ACTUALLY I AM QUITE NORMAL...........I ALSO HAVE NEVER HAD AN ABORTION BUT DO SUPPORT A WOMANS RIGHT TO CHOOSE.......IM SICK OF BEING LIED ABOUT SO EXTENSIVELY THAT GROUPS OF PEOPLE PLAN WAYS TO HURT ME ON SOME OF THE SITES THAT i AM ON......MY BLOG ON MDJUNCTION.COM IS UNDER THE SIGN ON OF "LOSTANDSHUNNED" (ALL ONE WORD) THE ONE I FOUND THE PLAN TO HURT ME ON i WONT DISCLOSE BUT HAVE MADE A RECORD OF IT ELSEWHERE AS IT IS NEVER MY OBJECTIVE TO CREATE ADDITIONAL CHAOS THAT DOESN'T NEED TO BE THERE BUT i WILL SAY THAT IF i ENDURE ANYTHING THAT IS CRAZY OR ABNORMAL WHERE i AM HURT ON PURPOSE, I WILL DISCLOSE IT PUBLICALLY.........i'VE HAD IT WITH BEING PUT IN DANGER AND IM DONE GOING THROUGH ABUSE AS i HAVE NEVER DONE ANYTHING TO HURT SOMEONE EVER......THE SAD THING IS, AS USUAL, I WOULD HAVE LOVED THE INDIVIDUALS THAT WERE PLANNING TO HURT ME HAD I NOT FOUND OUT, NOW i LITTERALLY JUST FEEL NUMB AND EXTREMELY UPSET....

I am tired of having to abandon whatever place of temporary residence because you want my life and have to make me appear like a bad person for going to the only place of residence I have......Are you required to "move" everytime someone accuses you of something or lies about you? In fact are you even ever accused of anything at all or lied about just for going to your place of residence every night?

Nothing is forever you might as well quit trying to scare the world into your ultimatums......By the way I just got out of Jail (i was arrested friday 4/12/13 for walking through a parking lot angry) and its tuesday so sorry I didn't have access to a computer over the weekend to keep you updated so that you wouldn't make any rash decisions about my life when I had no access to a computer.

Still being treated like slave property where people seem to think everything about me is up for their approval.......Let me spell it out for you......I don't give a sh#t if you approve of me as most of you are not only abusive toward me but completely misinformed.....I heard that my cousin turned on me today (wonder why cuz let me tell you didn't ever turn on him even after the 90 separate assualts i endured for him) Anyway, everyone still seems to be under the impression that I Im either having sex (I haven't) or they are trying to "regulate" my orgasms (as if they are so plentiful in the first place due to everyone's obsession with my vaginal function I hardly ever get to even have sex with myself-Abusive in itself-let alone with an actual man because they have lied to every man on the face of the earth when it comes to me.....(they tell them I have diseases, they tell them my vagina smells when they've never been near it ever and it doesn't smell, they tell them I am a criminal, they tell them i that I want a sex change operation etcetera, basically anything to keep me celibate.........I have rented a hotel room for an entire week in a city that I don't particularly like but due to my economic situation I have no other option ($128 for one week is not something I can afford to pass up) but as usual they have already accused me of some other rediculous shit because they always have to make someone else look like some sort of Angel and are always attempting to make me look like I was trying to cut someone's head off when I don't even believe in that and I am so tired of dealing with the mentality where the name of a city that was named 80 years ago and not named by me, has anything to do with reality....but they will use my financial hardship and my need for affordable shelter to make another person look like they cared more for a group of people that I have been fearlessly protecting the entire time...............Im so tired of losing people because some piece of shit woman can not live her own life and wants to take over every portion of my existance, including people that I love.......in other words.......I'll be here in this god awefully named city for the next week because that is what I can afford since her type has been stealing from me consistantly for the last decade and I am fucking poor as a result of HER.......

The post below is an attempt to get you to understand what you havent been understaning.It isnt meant to be mean or self riteous...

Do not treat me as if I should be greatful to you for anything as every portion of my existance you fucking credited to fucking fraudulent people that passed on circumstances that i went through as their own.......Remember that as you dote all over someone that is lying to you about what they've accomplished in life....Of course Im not referring to loving kind people that i have always appreciated them and their kindness....If your someone from my past that repeatedly left me to die out in the street, dont ever talk to me with such utter disrespect like you've just attempted to do, ever again

This goes out to everyone ive ever loved, cared about, begged for help from and got ignored, and those that thought my love for them wouldn't ever run out. .....I dont need you....doesn't mean I don't love you it means I dont need you...i could care less if you approve of me or not because i just spent the last decade completely alone and beyond abused.........i wanted to include you in in my life, i wanted to love you but ive endured all the abuse im gonna deal with and that isnt an invitation to start demanding anything from me or being abusive toward me at all... . No one was ever there for me in the last126 months that shouldhave been,so watch how you treat me and the things you say to me because you are the ones that taught me how to not give a fuck about anything anymore....if you decide you dont want me what the fuck is it you think im losing? Im not the one losing anything, you are. Youre losing somwone that tried to love u all unconditionally but you didnt want anypart of me loving you... . The only thing i lose are people that teeat me like a tumor on a good day and treat me like theirslave property on a bad day.... I loved you and probably could get those loving feelings back butdont continue to take m me and my love for you for granted. .i dont mean to sound mean but seriously you are completelyout of touch with reality trwating me like i can not livewithout you because you havent fucking been there in forever, get a grip... My love for you was never in question, your love for me definitely is. Laci Renee Issel 4/11/13

Someone once again trying to make me appear like im trying to do something bad to people

Getting more guilt trips as usual....some asshole is trying to start a war between me and nicole ritchie (i dont and havent ever had a fucking problem with her and dont need to be concentrating on high profile celebrities in regard to something that doesnt bring me happiness because im barely hanging on as it is menally....i need to concentrate on things that brimg me pleasure not pain because the last 126 months have primarily been filled with pain.......also the photo i said was haunting me wasnt haunting me because ive done anything wrong but because i practically have alzheimers at only 38 years old and have already been forgetting important things and people .....its frightning to not be able to rely on my own memory especially when it comes to people i love-that is why the picture haunts me because i cant imagine how aweful i would feel if i litterally forgot about someone i love.....but i do have some asshole that never stops trying to get people to hate me so he keeps making it seem like ive done harm to someone all the time.. Laci Renee Issel 4/11/13 .

So here's what's happened in the last week

Got beat up twice in Kingman AZ by people that believe in fighting with braun over using their mental capacity to fight.......Went to another city and then with in the first 2 hours of being their was intentionally targeted to being run over with the second time being where the car actually hit me but he finally braked before totally obliterating me....Needless to say, I don't feel safe at all with these kinds of people in my life.....I just want them to fucking leave me alone.....In the new city I have people that continue behaving as if I dance like a man and jokes still about me having a sex change operation that wont ever be happening as well as offers of testosterone that are unwelcome as well as people lying and telling people that I don't know members of my own family because I have another selfish bitch in my life that seems to be living off every portion of my existance......I am once again being separated from my own peer group in order to get the selfish bitch "IN" with the popular crowd and make all my old friends and family members think that I was against them, Im not against them but I am not exactly happy with the fact that I am being left with abusive people that are allowed to fucking do this to me so Im thiking at this point that my family my be slightly contributing to my murder.....I basically hate the entire planet right now with the exception of the animals......as most of the people are just lying kniving pieces of shit.....People are practically almost killing me and getting away with it.......

Someone rented me a hotel room because I have been attacked and beat up on the street two days ago.........This is not an "OK" situation....I am not writing this on behalf of someone else....It happened to me.......A car drove up when i was walking down the street in the other state that i have had to now go to after leaving Nevada and three girls jumped out of the car and began beating me up kneeing me in the head etcetera......I AM SO TIRED OF BEING ABUSED AND YOU MAKING IT APPEAR AS IF IT HAPPENED TO SOMEONE ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT HAS BEEN HAPPENINING TO ME ALL ALONG AND YOU HAVE BEEN CODDLING THE WRONG PERSON THAT IS BASICALLY A CON ARTIST..........IM NOT COMFORTABLE BEING ABUSED ALL THE FUCKING TIME AS THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME IN TWO WEEKS THAT I HAVE BEEN PHYSICALLY ATTACKED........I AM NOT IN CALIFORNIA.

Check both facebook accounts with pictures of me on them (Laci Issel)

A note to whomever holds my notebooks and journals

My notebooks and journals that have been left behind were never meant as a means to start wars or define the future forever......they are and have been my thoughts through some very turbulent, treacherous times where I was lonely and extremely confused, not knowing who to trust or whether I could trust anyone at all.....They were never meant as a vessel to carry out acts of aggression, hatred or for trying to get even with any entity.....they were all I had when people were not available to me and meant as a way to purge my psyche to make room for more of what my difficult life chose to throw my way.....To use them against individuals now when they were solely created to let me write my way through difficult traumatic times would cause me even more truama as they were never meant to be viewed or seen by others and although you having them makes me feel exploited, the bigger issue right now is that I am trying to convey that I have always just been trying to "make sense of things" but doesn't guarantee that I am always right about things....A lot of things written were written during periods of extreme fright..... ARAT does not equal "a rat" it was a code for something else.... By the way this is the only way I can tell you this, to those of you that hopefully know who you are, I LOVE U and I MISS U.....whether you've been in my life for my entire life or you've been in my life for only a few months this is how I feel........... By the way, I HATE EASTER and any eating habits at all are not me agreeing to be Jesus for anyone at all, Im just gonna ignore the entire day as it freaks me out (no offense to the actual Jesus) and the geo metro I had to leave behind in October 2012 was left in Orange county, not Los Angeles, but I did take a flight out of Los Angeles when I flew to Vegas.......

They say...."we've decided"......well, history has shown me that that always means "we've decided Laci Renee Issel will be our scapegoat on which to take out everyone's transgressions on"

In regard to the "truth or dare" blurb picture above......I rarely lie at all and when I do I make sure that it never could possibly negatively affect another individual's life at all ever..nor or in the future.......

AS usual, today I find out they LIED again and said that I didn't pass some sort of drug test when I dont ever do drugs at all to justify the fucking 3 months with no protection that they always put me through when they can't find anything else to fucking penalyze me for.......I DONT EVEN USE DRUGS AND NEVER WILL USE DRUGS, THE ONLY DRUG I HAVE COME CLOSE TO TAKING IS COLD/FLU MEDICATION THAT IS OVER THE COUNTER FROM ANY STORE OUT THERE.......THE POINT IS.....NO MATTER HOW FUCKING PERFECT I AM THEY ALWAYS FIND A REASON TO ELEVATE ANOTHER GIRL THAT DIDN'T DO ANY OF THE FUCKING WORK WHILE USING MY STORY.........THEY NEVER MAKE THE FUCKING NIGHTMARE END FOR ME, HENCE MY ENTRIES ON FACEBOOK ABOUT HOW TO BE AN AMERICAN IDOL AND WHAT THE REAL LIFE ACTUAL REQUIREMENTS ARE (I HAVE TWO ACCOUNTS AND YOU CAN FIND IT IN THE MARCH SECTION OF THE ACCOUNT THAT HAS A PICTURE OF ME AND YELLOW AND RED TILES BEHIND ME).......................SO IT LOOKS LIKE I HAVE ONCE AGAIN BEEN ABANDONED FOR NO REASON AT ALL BUT TO THE PUBLIC I NOW HAVE BEEN DISGRACED AS A DRUG USER (NO OFFENSE TO PEOPLE THAT USE DRUGS BUT i DONT HAPPEN TO BE ONE OF THEM).......i CAN ACTUALLY NOT EAT WITHOUT DOING SPEED AND WEED WOULD MAKE ME WAY TO PARANOID WITH MY ALREADY INTENSE LIFESTYLE.

i am so tired of people thinking they are eminem, how come no one wants to be themselves? I have value with or without him (no offense to him).Laci renee Issel 4:04 am 3/30/13, and Ben from Indianapolis....are you in love with me or not? As a matter of fact, all of you that have expressed an interest in me...are you in love with me or not because I am getting sick and tired of waking up alone after twelve years of it and Im at the point now where it's like "speak now or forever hold your peace" I've been waiting on the majority of you for fucking ever and still no one wants to be with me? even after sleeping with my super hot friends and getting that out of the way? (Yes, I know about it, they always push her at any man I fall for and they always sleep with her at some point because I am never allowed to have anyone that she hasn't already "christened with her fucking vagina")....don't worry not mad at you but don't EVER try to go there with some lunacy that I was the one that made a possible "relationship" fall apart because men have been thrown at me for the longest time but I still had a picture of one of the men I loved in my mind.....I went two and three years without sex thinking about one of you.......when I moved to Vegas i assumed none of you wanted me and that is when i finally slept with someone else. Different than you sleeping with one of my friends or relatives right under my nose in the same city I chose as my "rebuild my life and move on from men that never showed an interest in me" city..........And you should read the below entry as this isn't the entry I was referring to in my posting on Facebook.....and I of course meant every word I wrote in the below entry (spanish man) but one thing I didn't mention was all the times I was listening to AKON's song "Sorry"....I started listening to this song as therapy for all the aloneness I have had to go through without anyone ever there to comfort me and everytime I listened to it tried to imagine one of the people I love whether it be family or friends saying the words of this song to me as an appology for all the times I was literally in danger from being left outside and having people lied to when it had to do with me to the point where they just believed what they were being told about me rather than find out from me and find out if I was okay or not, when most of the time I was dealing with mass populations of stalkers.....I started listening to this song in my apartment in Las Vegas in January 2013. I don't ever harm people or have bad intentions for people ever so there are very few things I have to be sorry about other than not being able to be in one place for very long.

They are doing it again.....Making it appear as if my thoughts are coming from another source other than myself......Making you think that I can hear someone else think and making you think that all the loving thoughts I have been thinking are coming from another source...........ALSO CHECK OUT WWW.QUALLYCHALET.TUMBLR.COM AS THERE IS ANOTHER COUPLE OF NEW ENTRIES I HAVE POSTED............

I'm so sick of being treated as if I don't even exist.....Everytime I think of someone or giggle with laughter while thinking of someone they treat it as if I am "listening" to someone else think and begin crediting my thoughts to whatever person they say I can hear.......I CANT HEAR YOU THINK, NEVER COULD, DONT WANT TO HEAR YOU, DONT NEED TO HEAR YOU, COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HEARING YOU BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO LIKE THINKING ON MY OWN WAVE LENGTH (Hence the website wavelengthsandprocesses.blogspot.com)....It is so rare for me that the chaos of having everyone fight over my life subsides long enough to actually truely get totally involved thinking the things that I have "wanted" to think about.....This doesn't mean that all the loving feelings I have for various people and animals are ever reciprocated (primarily I think because all the ones I am thinking lovingly about have been made to believe that the thoughts were coming from another person so why reciprocate love I have for them when some other girl is being fallen in love with for just existing while I think of the people I love-hence the last 10 years of "couples" that have gotten together while unbeknownst to some of the men, my thoughts passed off as the girl that they were told was thinking of them)...................................................................................................Im getting irritated as no portion of my own existance is ever credited to me, when without me, half of this wouldn't even be going on...............................................................My thoughts today have been............................The never ending love for my husband (the one's that I was assigned at birth that I never seem to be good enough for but that also have been told that all the loving thoughts for them were coming from another source so no wonder they dont have any feeling for me at all...Husbands assigned at birth for protection purposes only but not necessarily were going to be man and wife with me as adults).............................The want and need for a wonderful man that isn't the assigned husband to come along and love me also..................................I also think of a spanish man often that I can't name in order to respect his anonymity and also don't know if he even wants me to be thinking of him but I can't seem to help it as I am completely and totally enamoured by him and no he isn't part of the 13 men I once wrote about and I'm completely bashful when it comes to him, not to mention I just about have to turn myself inside out in order to not think of him sexually as I worry that it may be unwelcome, but that for some reason drives me insane, thoughts of him started in January, it's almost April and I feel like Im dying inside some days based on I actually miss him and miss him often and have cried over him multiple times.....yes, I do feel rediculous because as usual my thoughts of him have been obviously passed off as some other girls over the last three months, including probably the time when I imagined falling asleep in his arms, the reason I cry over him is because I know that no one will ever allow me to have anyone that I love and continue to tell the world that I am craving people that I have never wanted in my entire existence and that the ones that I do want and love deeply are passed off as some other girls soulmates when I am the one that can't seem to live with out them as they continue to link me up with people I have never even had anything in common with and pass them off as my soul mates....for all I know he thinks nothing of me based on the lies told to him and probably never thinks of me as a possible mate as he was told that I have STD's when I don't.................................................I have also been thinking about the BETA fish that is at the location that I have stayed over the last two days as its dorsal fin is drooping as some of the fish's fins do in captivity and when I put my hand on it's tank it swims toward me and I talk to it...Today it puffed its face up slightly and I told it that it resembled a Lion Fish (A lion with its mane as its fins were fanned out when it puffed its face up and last night, when it swam toward me, I was saying to it "you just want to be held also, don't you, just like me"......................................................I have also taken 2 showers today as I am on my period and had to go so many days in between showers over the last three weeks and just want to feel clean as possible for once while having to deal with a world that mocks and humiliates me as much as possible in order to praise people that didn't accomplish what was said, took a shower last night also...........................................................also have been thinking about "the buddhas" my nickname for every child on the earth as I have been thumbing through magazines looking at pictures of children from Haiti as well as other children in the Magazines, not to mention that I am residing with two adorable buddhas, one filipino and one mexican (I found out that all the loving thoughts toward children that I have been thinking got credited to Tara and now when I use my own term that I coined for children (Buddha) they bow to her....I don't need anyone to bow to me but is anyone understanding how upsetting it is to have your own thoughts life and personality and watch someone else always be adored for it while I literally get treated like shit...........................................................I am so tired of being treated like some sort of desparate, groupie, hoebag, slut, pedifile, killer, bad person everyday of my life while you treat the girls around me like gold that simply got credit for my personality, thoughts, and life's events that I have been though as well as my own experiences...........You adore them everyday of my life and it wasn't even them that did what was said or thought the thoughts or lived through the hardship and I live with this everyday of my life being treated less than an animal................By the way I love every creature on this planet including insects as whenever times got really rough, the one entity that never let me down was, of all things, an insect....I have never hated bugs or spiders and actually made friends with the scorpion that had made a home in my apartment in Las Vegas as it COULD hear ME (I woke up one day and it was crawling on my arm, I put on the carpet and started talking to it and it responded)...........YOU've been misinformed the entire time.............................................................................. I WANT YOU TO THINK OF SOMETHING FOR A MOMENT, MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS SEEM TO BE FULL OF HONOR, COME WITH RESPECT, ARE HIGHLY REVERED AND PRAISED AMONG NATIONS, AS LONG AS THEY HAVE SOMEONE ELSES FACE ATTATCHED TO THEM.....YOU BOW, YOU COMMEMORATE, YOU PARTY FOR, YOU GET TOGETHER FOR, YOU TREAT LIKE FAMILY FOR, YOU AWARD SCHOLARSHIPS FOR, YOU SHOWER WITH GIFTS FOR EVERY ACCOMPLISHMENT I HAVE MADE OVER THE LAST DECADE-PROVIDED THESE ACCOMPLISHMENTS COME WITH A DIFFERENT FACE THAN MINE AND AFTER ALL THESE THINGS MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS PROVOKE, YOU TURN AROUND AND TREAT LIKE SCUM OF THE EARTH THE BEING THEY ACTUALLY CAME FROM--ME, LACI RENEE ISSEL THE REAL ONE BORN JANUARY 26TH 1975, REDDING CALIFORNIA, THE ONE WITH INVERTED NIPPLES AND TWO SCARS ON MY FOREHEAD, WITH AN OVERWEIGHT BODY AND ORANGE AROUND MY PUPILS WITH GREEN IRIS'S.........i AM THE ONE THAT YOU LOVE BUT DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. ..............................................................................................................................................................................When I say I am heartbroken, I have just given you a multitude of reasons that don't always revolve not having a man.....even though I miss having one that wants to be with me. I haven't had a boyfriend because of all the lies in close to twelve years and I'm not a lesbien.....I'm really not into being with someone that doesn't want to actually be with me.........................

I was in the Henderson Domestic Violence Shelter on 3/22/13 and was kicked out after three days of being completely physically ill on the night of the 25th at 10:00 pm for using the telephone.

The morning of the 26th at 9:00am I sat on the other side of the street of the Domestic Violence shelter and watched as a Ford F-150 (golden beigh and Black) pulled into the Domestic Violence Shelter Parking lot......I was told that someone was once again using my lifes events to once again gain some sort of ground with either my family or a group of people that I have worried so much about and that has since found out that someone was in fact doing everything they could (in a legal sense) to care and protect them.....I guess it doesn't matter though because everyone seems to think that I am just here on this planet to be some person's avatar that just doesn't believe in actually putting their own efforts into something..... Since then I have been dealing with all kinds of things trying to stay out of sight from abusers and people looking to use me as their mealticket as usual.....I found another shelter and some of the staff members were like robots (total drones that dont even listen to what your saying and then do the psychological abusive thing where they tell someone that it is them that is the problem (I was called disrespectful, aggressive and basically unstable for telling them I was sick and needed some extra sleep because of all the abuse and the fact that i was sick and my roommate was snoring all night to the point where I didn't actually fall into a deep sleep until around 4:30 from all the sinus presure etcetera...)......................... Laci Renee Issel 1:42 pm 3/28/13

Lets put it this way.......

As I clutch my backpack (literally trying to "hold on to something") I suddenly realize just how important having a boyfriend actually is.............I've known for some time that the remedy I have needed has been to have someone of my own that doesn't get caught up in all the games but it didn't quite sink in until last night.......................................Im at a domestic violence shelter and I went to the staff last night requesting a pillow, not for my head but instead because my backpack is a little to bulky to embrace fully.....I wanted to hold something, since Im about as starved of adult affection and emotional womanly needs as one person could possibly be....................I got my pillow and then it started.....the whimsical romance that I had always dreamed about since childhood......the pillow transformed into the man of the moment and then I could not feel so alone in a world that should go down as the cruelest environment known to mankind for one beautiful soul on the earth.............So anyway there I was, my pillow had become my gent and I felt just a little better about life to the point where I would imagine trying to sneak near him just to be around him (you have to realize that i dont have the self esteem to believe that anyone would want me after years of being laughed at and ridiculed so when I say "sneak" i am referring to sneaking around my own insecurities to be close to someone that makes me insane inside)........pretty soon I was giggling in the manner that I used to when I was young and the world didn't seem so bad for a moment in time........................................................................................................................the biggest slap in the face is to write all this and have every portion of me ignored in the end as soon as you attatch someone else's name to everything I am and just wrote.........This lady heard me and automatically threw my cousin Rachael in the mix.................this has nothing to do with Rachael and never did, no offense to Rachael as she knows that I love her but I am sick of everyone getting so much mileage out of me when it had nothing to do with them.................................For some reason this world seems to have a major problem allowing me to have credit for anything that has always had only to do with me, as I have been a person my entire life and they treat me like a wooden boy named Pinocchio...(And I rarely lie).....................................By the way, you not giving me your approval means nil, as you haven't been there for me ever and if you dont approve of me nothing changes as you will still not be there for me ever.....in the words of Limp Biscuit ...just think about it (wont tell you what song)

Pictures from the last couple months 12/2012-3/2013.......and by the way I've been smiling this way since birth, not my fault they made a blow job spread in Latin Girls xxx magazine indicating the same smile, all I can do is be flattered that someone would want to showcase my natural smile. Also, if you look at the collage of pictures you'll see the picture of the little girl in the red and white dress and the little girl in the white frilly dress as well as the light yellow dress(Me, Laci Renee Issel at 3 years old) as well as the picture of my california identification, sporting the exact same smile as I have told you I have smiled the same way when totally elated since birth.

These people are still not getting it.........I am not joining the military, especially after being forced to live like I was in the military for the last decade when I had no interest in it to begin with, I am not going to jail for something I didn't do, I am not going to change my gender for anyone and I am not going to become a lesbien for anyone either........AFTER TEN YEARS I AM DONE WITH ALL AND ANY DEMANDS PUT ON ME AND PUT FORTH BY ANY GROUP OR ORGANIZATION OF PEOPLE THAT IN MY OPINION SHOULD START DOING IT THEMSELVES IF THEY HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MY DECSION..........YOU CAN KILL ME BUT I REFUSE TO CONTINUE TO ALLOW YOU TO FUCK WITH MY FREE SPIRIT LIKE YOU HAVE OVER THE LAST DECADE......iM NOT GIVING UP DANCING EITHER........MY QUESTION IS WHO THE FUCK IS DOING THIS TO MY LIFE AFTER WHAT i HAVE JUST LIVED THROUGH AND WHY? YOU PROMOTED A FRAUD WHO IS NOW LIVING MY LIFE AND EVERYTHING I SAY THAT I AM ABOUT YOU TURN AROUND AND TELL PEOPLE THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF........ IM A FREE SPIRIT, i LOVE TO DANCE, LOVE TO HAVE FUN, LOVE BEING AROUND ALL DIFFERENT KINDS OF PEOPLE AND AM NOT STAYING IN THIS FUCKING MIND CONTROL PROJECT ANY FURTHER.....I HAVEN'T BEEN PERMITTED ANYTHING THAT BROUGHT ME JOY OR HAPPINESS IN THE LAST DECADE..........I HATE MILITARY LIFE AND THE CLOSEST TO THE MILITARY I WANT TO GET IS MAKING LOVE TO A MILITARY MAN....................like I said you can kill me but that is all the control i am going to allow you to continue to have................and I'd like to know what you are referring to when you speak of lost wages? Are you referring to my lost wages from being lied about and sabotaged because I know you couldn't possibly be referring to anyone elses lost wages put together with anything that has anything to do with me because I have never done anything to anyone to create them having lost wages so either your talking about me or some other grand scheme has been concocted to siphon money from me somehow and i am unaware of what it is because Ill tell you what, I've been alone the majority of this six month las vegas ordeal......

There are at least eight different Rob's I have known in my life please dont assume you know which one I am referring to

I have a self appointed husband who isn't one of the appointed husbands since birth, last name Wood......and although I am flattered by his willingness to step in and possibly work on behalf of the absentee husbands that I currently have, it doesn't work like that......The husbands appointed since my birth are not actual husbands that I have walked down the aisle with or even consumated a relationship with they are simply there based on the order of my birthrite that is completely ignored anyway and have always been there.....They are assigned for protection purposes only and obviously are at the very least sometimes shitty shitty husbands given the magnitude of abuse that i have already endured but then again they never planned on me even finding out that they were supposed to protect me..... Of course I am still able to fall in love and marry a man of my choosing but nobody ever allows that to happen to me because then i would be entitled to another portion of my birthrite and produce genetic heirw which no one will allow.....Everytime a man has fallen in love with me they have been told that I am gay, lesbien, they were told that I wanted a sex change when i didn't, they were told that I was a criminal when I have never been, they were told that I didn't love them,they were told that i hated the them, they were told basically anything necessary to get rid of them from my life........so here I am single and the only people that know what is going on are my actual husbands appointed since birth which sucks because some of them (not all) are trying to get rid of me but wont technically allow anyone else to love me based on all that comes with the birthrite, so I am forever in limbo at all times without an ounce of love from any source.........and once again you wonder why I hate my life.......speaking of what is supposed to be my protection......he just walked away from me after being at computer number 22 and me being at computer 23 when he is technically supposed to protect me......he isn't aware that I know, doesn't matter though to anyone but me because everyone is making it so easy for these people to abandon their posts, practically offering accommondations for leaving me to die and the aweful thing is....had I done something to deserve the level of mistreatment and abandonment ( I am not referring to the instances that i have been made a SCAPEGOAT for) I would understand, but I have been the biggest love of the 21st century (except on occasions from prolonged antagonization and isolation from anything that is remotely of my being) so none of this makes any sence to someone that always looked past everyones flaws straight to their strengths..............It must be about who is fucking who because I dont have a good body and that is the only reason I can think that I keep getting abandoned..........Shit, they've made it so fucking easy for any average woman with a decent body to suddenly become royalty by simply starving herself for a month, suddenly someone that has absolutely no intelligence is catapulted into a forever spotlight and in order to keep her stay all she has to do is use me mercilessly for every ounce of everything i was good at, natural at, and was fated for to keep her spot and pretty soon I am as usual dumped on, ridiculed for being imperfect body wise and abused physically, mentally, verbally, sexually harassed by lesbiens and men that treat me like they are doing me a favor by letting me exist simply because she had a cute face and nice body ..... oh, sorry, nice "tight" body.......And it isn't as if I can lose weight it is that I will never be tiny, and my reputation all over the world has been reduced to sparse embers that haven't quite died out from the fire....dont worry they'll be around with a bucket of water to extinguish the last flicker of my soul that hasn't been totally snuffed out (how appropriate as they plan to further abuse me in a snuff film).......My question is how did all this happen to me? I was not ever hateful toward anyone or any group of people at all but I think in an effort to "cover up" all the fucking illeagal inhumane shit they have done to me they turned around and tryed to make the world hate me so that they could almost be "justified" in their actions toward me when i have never done anything to deserve what has come my way. Hence all the "pardoning" going on for further abuses and abandonment. .......................................................by the way, Craigslist is becoming a totally scary place where they talk about who and what I know and what they plan on doing to me and all the ways in which they want to hurt me or family members such as my mom who the regard as a "whore" and so on and so on......who gives a shit what a woman does with her body, why does this topic enrage so many men that could be spending that same energy making love to their wives and girlfriends, I dont give a shit if someone is a whore in your mind that doesn't give anyone the right to plan on hurting people.......you'll hurt who you think of as a whore but you'll continue to allow an innocent person like me to be completely and utterly terrorized and abused in every possible fashion and it means nothing to you.....Are you understanding that your pattern of thinking is not exactly on the path it probably should be, the things that matter to you have nothing to do with anyone getting hurt, sex is not killing people, but people are trying to kill me at all times and all you can come up with is that my mom is a whore? Im so close to completely giving up on this planet. and by the way the craigslist portions that are getting scary are located in the "forums" and "discussions" sections some in the relationship sections but primarily in the catagorized places

ANOTHER PERSON PARDONED FOR ABANDONING ME

Another person aware of who and what I am pardoned for abandoning me after being sent to extract me finally from this nightmare, this ten year nightmare that had me functioning at navy seal level just to survive the neglect and abuse from the governments that knew full well that i was supposed to be protected but because they thought I was unaware of who and what i was they thought they would just "sweep me under the rug" and see if they could get me to acclimate to a "normal" existance hoping to skirt their responsibilities completely as a protecting entity over my life.......Since I did find out who I was they have taken an active interest partially to trying to at least address the issue but still have offered no actual protection as of yet and after ten aweful years of inhumane levels of abuse and truama i am being left to die rather than protected and I have heard that Obama is literally playing around with my life and offering pardons to various people and entities to completely abandon me....Pardons for inflictions made by them onto me and the negligence of what me being completely alone and autistic and on my own has caused........................................................................I am treated and have been treated worse than a doormat for the last ten years, i loved all involved in the process never understanding why i was enduring and being subjected to so much abuse, I never took the attitude that i was better than anyone ever in my entire life as that has never been a part of my personality......I have been leaving messages that my navy seal has been listening to for the past couple weeks and still no help from the beatings and muggings on the street, I am still expected to do their job and be on my own, I have loved everyone involved but it is obvious that I am not loved at all otherwise the ten years wouldn't have happened at all as I know for a fact any other woman or girl on earth would have been run to if they were ever posed with danger even once and I have been left to die the entire time and sometimes as they watch satelite footage of me being beaten or kidnapped while they do nothing hoping that Ill die I guess......this is something I dont understand as I have never been a mean evil bad person and if anything was the biggest humanitarian I've ever seen but then again they passed all my thoughts off as "B's" over the last decade while giving the public the illusion that i was thinking sadistic thoughts that I wasn't thinking......They simply lied and they are still lying as even now all my thoughts are being credited to a girl I went to high school with by the name of Kendall, anything that I think they literally act like is coming from her, so every time I think of a man lovingly and with so much depth she is hailed as the most loving being on earth, they did the same thing with "B".....everything I ever think is always credited to someone else.....I have been thinking the most wonderful thoughts all along and even through all of the adversity trying to find something to focus on that would get me through the hardship and now I realized that I did all of that for nothing (meaning that I survived all the hardship of being left to die for ten years for nothing as now everything i ever did and thought has been credited to people it wasn't coming from and i am once again being left to die rather than this ten year nightmare ending for me like its supposed to) The other thing that they do is have bad mean cruel people think thoughts and then they tell the public that it is coming from me........I can not hear Kendall think, I can not hear "B" think, I can only on occasion depending on what is at stake hear two word phrases coming from a specific source which is not always the same.......phrases such as "I know", "It is", "She Is", "YOu are", "Good Luck", "Your not" etcetera but that is the only phrases that have been opened up on the esp spectrum for me.......Other people can hear everything I think about and can hear everything all the others think about but I have only been privy to the two word phrases in the last couple months out of the duration of my life. My thoughts are not Kendalls and Kendall has never been put in harms way to even think some of the thoughts that I have thought as a result of impending danger or flashbacks from danger so it irritates me that another being who has never been through anything is claiming I am listening to these various people when I can not hear them.................I am being murdered and there really is no other way to put it...............they didn't plan on me living through the ten year ordeal in the first place and now that i have there are all the things they have done to me that they are trying to avoid being held accountable for so instead they leave me in further danger and hope that ill kill myself or someone else will kill me.........why couldn't they have just told me ten years ago before I struggled through pow camp type conditions for a decade that nothing I would ever do would matter and that they still were going to abandon me..........................................................................On March 13th I walked from the Las Vegas Strip to the South Point Casino, walked all the way there, nobody knew about it so the next day they wanted me to walk again from close to the strip to the South Point Casino because no one knew i had already made the many mile walk the day before..........what is my point?...............I have to do everything two and three times before it is ever acknowledged to everyone else's one time and even once acknowledged they usually lie and give credit to another person that didn't even do what I had done as if I had never even done it and this has been the rule for the last decade.................And you wonder why I am tired all the time?????????????? Im literally expending two and three times the energy just to get done something that you only require once of everyone else, you think you would require any of the other girls to repeatedly do an action and then have the audacity to not even give them credit for it?????????????????Never would you but for some reason everyone keeps thinking Im their god damn pack mule........

Lost everything I was fighting for because I conveniently as usual got a raging sinus infection that rendered me incapacitated completely

Had to go back into las vegas after becoming so sick that I could no longer be outside and of course it couldn't have happened at a worse time.....Im extremely resilient so for me to be incapacitated by sickness is pretty extreme.....Im frustrated, and sick of being referred to as a prostitute when I have never been one......I went to the only place that I had left to go to to be sick.......Im stuck in the middle of all these people and I am totally getting lost in the shuffle, I feel like giving up completely as all my struggle only seems to have the same outcome, me alone, by myself with no love and homeless (ten years of established history has proven this).............................................................The good thing is this, I Am Free but only in a certain direction and they dont seem to know this....as I am still being treated like endentured servant, when Im not.............I went through five thousand times what the other girls did and still nothing for me ever...................Went to the hospital the night of the 13th and had an ultrasound done as I couldn't understand the reason my abdomin kept moving around from the inside and was told that it was my intestines and that they were in fact moving around and alot and that there wasn't an explanation as to why they were so mobile but that for all intents and purposes there was no baby but it was understood why I had thought something was wrong or had thought that perhaps I may be pregnant.....ST. Rose Hospital the Siena Campus is the hospital I was at starting at 7:00 pm and was discharged at 10:23 pm (I was not at the Lima Campus of St. Rose although i did hear that as usual my hospital visit was used to make the other girl look like she was me except she was at the Lima Campus and there to BLOW some officer or something.) I love how i get laughed at and made fun of when I am smarter than a lot of the people I am surrounded by................................................................................Also the girl that keeps having sex with various people all over vegas has now changed her sexual style to match mine, obviously to create more hardship to me as now all of vegas still thinks that I am actively having sex when i haven't had sex in 5 weeks (today is 3/15/13) I guess this is probably my mistake because in an effort to defend the multiple times she had sex using my identity I told the world that I dont even make any noise while having sex so no she has gone from the moaning queen of the century to completely silent while she's being fucked (this bitch is seriously bound for all kinds of bad shit as she is officially doing this shit on purpose to me now)......................................................................................................Also researched Craigslist the night before last to see what is going on around town since I am increadibly intelligent and can read between the lines and it was said that the plan lately is to kidnap me and bring me to a ten bedroom mansion where I will be forced to participate in a snuff film while being abused and for god only knows how long and then knifed in the stomach and killed thrown in a dumpster and then all involved can collect the insurance policies on my life.........The beatings I have been enduring were coined as "preparation for the movie" (exact verbage on Craigslist) I am still sick with a massive sinus infection/flu and have to stay where Im at at least tonight and find another place to stay tomorrow............I have been in Las Vegas since 10/10/12 and then all the fucking stalkers and ex-boyfriends infultrated las vegas destroyed my reputation with lies and now have told me that i have been getting beaten up because i was told to "go away"............Here is how I feel about all of this, first of all, I was here first and arrived here in an effort to once again rebuild my life after the previous destruction that was caused to me by other greedy as fuck people, second if an individual tells me to go away that is all that is required as I have no interest in continuing to try to be around anyone that doesn't want me around and if they told you different they straight up lied to you as only one person has told me to go away since I have been in Vegas (his name is Todd) and that is all it took for me to say "not a problem" and i have not since seen or tried to see him as we were not some sort of couple to begin with (he told me to go away around February 25, and I have no urge to go around him anyway as I originally thought he may be a friend and later found out that as usual just another tactical manuever to get him to the person of his choice, third, if you tell me to go away from an entire city I say you dont have the right to ask this of me or anyone else as you have been getting away with forcing me to go away from every city I have ever tried to build a home in and for the last ten years in a row............You dont have the right to start beating me up and stealing my money because I was here first and then your brought your fucking rediculous posse here that obviously has to wait for me to do something like move here before they decide on the next "it" city to move to---i was here first and most of you are in fact no brain having cant think for yourselves leaches that need me to do the trail blazing before you even think to go somewhere so Ive had it with you and caring about anything you ask of me, if I do go away it will only be for awhile as my last $170 has been stolen from me and i have no way to afford being in a heartless place that wont help you if you have no resources of your own (all mine have been stolen) Also was accused of tresspassing at Excaliber for walking through their parking lot on my way to the crosswalk (are you fucking serious?) Me and a hundred other people apparently were tresspassing trying to get to the walkway, while in New York New York casino I was attacked by five security guards and told at first that I had taken someone elses property and that the excalibur wanted to see me......once I produced a claim check for the property that i was accused of having that they said wasn't mine, they changed their story and said that they excalibur wanted to see me for supposedly tresspassing....I then was dragged from NY NY casino to the excalibur in handcuffs, once there i was sited for tresspassing when I hadn't even set foot in the excalibur..........I cant believe the lies told just to beat and humiliate me and its been going on like this for ten years........Lets take a look at my life.............................................................................1 I have a selfish bitch that is intentionally fucking every man in Las Vegas and trying to make it look like its me............................2..I have a bunch of men that I once loved so unselfishly using me to fuck the girl of their dreams, humiliate me on national television (American Idol) and claim that they loved me once in the process when the entire definition of love never includes national humiliation even after the relationship is over, so I know they didn't love me but did use me as a catapult to fame and fortune and notariety since I was in Vegas way before they were and still dont understand why ALL OF THEM would practically move to Vegas after I chose this city to rebuild my life away from them since none of them had displayed any interest in me to begin with so why not start over in another place.....Why did they feel the need to move to the city that I was in after I had left them behind wishing them the best with their lives and assuming they had no interest in me, why did they move to the place where I was at and start having sex with every female on earth and right under my nose while claiming that they loved me.........Not one of them ever told me they loved me or had any interest in me at all so I got on with my life and moved to Vegas......How can you believe that any of these men ever loved me to do this to me them knowing how much love I had for them to do all this to me right under my nose (the sex with other women, the national humiliation and then they banded together to do this to me when i left them on such a positive note saying of course you know i love you but I realize you dont feel the same so have a good life.....I have been fully taken advantage of completely by them............and yes I did love them, but now the side of them that they have shown to me is ..... there are no words for the side of themselves that they have been displaying toward me and I just keep shaking my head in disbelief wondering how i was so head over heals in love with people that could do this to me and why they would do this sort of thing to someone that had never harmed them or had bad intentions toward them ever and only had unselfish love toward them---they meant the world to me and it was difficult to come to Vegas and just tell myself that they aren't ever gonna love me so make a new life but i pushed through the lonliness and managed to try and make a life which they quickly dismantled with the help of American Idol (I am not claiming that all involved in American Idol are to blame).......................................4..I have another ex boyfriend and his girlfriend that are planning on using me in a snuff film and then gutting me to death, not only that but his girlfriend is a dumb vicious fucking shit starter for no reason (she's one of those people that demonstrates her power by displaying unusual levels of cruelty toward a populus putting people in fear rather than what an actual leader is where they include the populus's wants and needs within the leadership, she is just straight up tierany and that is how she amasses everything (its all got to be about her or else)....................................5..I get treated like a hooker everyday when I have never been one which isn't that big of a deal except to the man that wanted to be with me recently (him and about 3 others that loved and were considering being with me).............................6..I have the left side of government wanting to attatch a penis to me (give me a sex change when I have never in the history of mankind ever even wanted one or wanted to be a man (they dont seem to take no for an answer either).........................................................7..After going through every possible thing known to mankind (beatings, rapes, kidnappings, forced travel, forced homelessness for eight years and not in a homeless shelter kind of homelessness,) for my cousins and my childhood friend as well as an ex boyfriend I have now been told that I now have to become a lesbien after everthing else I have been through in order to continue to prove my love for people that haven't actually done shit to prove anything to me......needless to say, I am not a lesbien and asking me to become one is definitely where i draw the line.......what my actual problem is with this situation is this.....When has one of them ever had to go through 1/1000 of what i have done for them for me....it isn't a competition but it seems that no matter how much selfless love i have displayed there is always another person that hasn't done 1/1000 of what I have done for them being held in high esteem by them and the rest of the population and all I get out of it is usually another beating........I AM NOT HAVING A SEX CHANGE OPERATION NOR AM I BECOMING A LESBIEN, AND AM ASKING ALL LESBIENS TO FINALLY STOP SEXUALLY HARASSING ME AS IVE BEEN DEALING WITH IT FOR LONG ENOUGH, AND IT IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT............WRITING IN ALL CAPS IS SOMETHING i HAVE DONE SINCE I STARTED WRITING AND ISN'T AN INDICATION OF ANYTHING THAT YOU THINK IT MEANS SO PLEASE KEEP YOUR MEANINGS AND ASSOCIATIONS AWAY FROM ME AND MY LIFE AS YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO ATTATCH AT WILL THINGS TO ME THAT DONT HAVE ANY BEARING..............................................8..I AM HEARTBROKEN AS NOW I AM FACING HAVING TO KILL MYSELF WHEN ALL I WANTED WAS TO REBUILD MY LIFE IN A NEW PLACE AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE --- I AM NOT THE FASHIONABLY HEARTBROKEN EITHER, I AM ACTUALLY HEARTBROKEN THAT MY LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES WHEN I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO PUT IT HERE ONCE AGAIN, JUST ANOTHER ROUND OF CAREFULLY PLANNED SABOTAGE AND I HAVE NO ONE AND NO SUPPORT AND PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE SHIT AT ALL TIMES, EVEN THE PEOPLE THAT I HAVE PUT FOOD IN THEIR FRIDGE TREAT ME LIKE SHIT BECAUSE NOW ITS FASHIONABLE TO DO TO ME.......MY QUESTION IS..........WHY HAVE YOU CHOSEN TO DO SHIT LIKE THIS TO SOMEONE THAT ALWAYS LOVED YOU FOR ALL YOUR GOOD AND BAD QUALITIES AND NEVER ONCE JUDGED YOU OR YOUR ACTIONS AND ALWAYS STUCK UP FOR YOU AND GAVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT WHEN YOU LOOKED TO THE WORLD LIKE AN AWEFUL PERSON.....WHY ME?....................................................................................................... aND EVERYONES BIGGEST PROBLEM WITH ME ALL OVER VEGAS IS......................THEY THINK I EAT TO MUCH, i EAT LIKE A PIG ACCORDING TO THEM...............i HAVE NO ONE ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH TO OFFER ME PEACE, LOVE OR COMFORT, LET ALONE FRIENDSHIP AND THIS IS WHAT YOU COME UP WITH........WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST I DO WITH THE MASSIVE GASHES YU PUT IN MY HEART AND SOUL? i EAT LIKE A PIG? aT LEAST I'VE NEVER DONE TO YOU WHAT YOU SO EASILY DO TO ME........OVEREATING KEEPS ME FROM BEHAVING IN A MEAN SPIRITED WAY THAT DOESN'T EVEN COME NATURALLY TO BEGIN WITH BUT LATELY YOUR TOTALLY PUSHING ME TOWARD WITH YOUR SHALLOWNESS.

Another tid bit of info...........

I hate almost everyone on earth at the moment......Im hobbling around after being mugged and still being expected to concentrate and worry about yet another issue that isn't my issue and still dont know what the hell is going on.............Im never allowed to concentrate on my own life and im sick of it, I haven't done anything wrong and no one gives a shit about me and is acting like I just had sex with someone or something........I haven't had sex for at least a month so i dont give a shit about "the eye" as I am dealing with some very real problems that have to do with me and only me........I do not work for anyone else and after ten years of abuse I am through with these people that continue to demand more and more from me........this bitch that took over my life has beyond gone to far with what she's done and still they continue to treat me like the fraud in my own life........no one still gives a shit about me or what I go through and still continue to lie and create me as a scapegoat to get themselves off the hook for the stuff that they have been doing to me. They are planning on kidnapping me also......just overheard and was made aware................................................................................ I ask you this, what they hell am i on this planet for other than for people to abuse and hurt constantly, there sure shit hasn't been anything in it for me.

Plans being made to kill me next week

Its been aweful, Ive been getting beat up and accused of tresspassing everywhere in las vegas and right after being a paying patron. I was mugged last night one hundred seventy dollars stolen and my credit card stolen (actually its a debit card)......I cant get into serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com based on the fact that i have two step verification on that account and my phone is broken so I cant get the second verification so i have to blog on this site which is useless considering that I have now no respect left for the entity that thinks this website and email have something to do with them...........all my email addresses have been assigned meanings from other entities other than me so now whenever i log into a certain account a meaning has been attatched (not my problem as i didn't assign the meaning and no one asked me what i meant by anything so like i said tell them to go fuck themselves with their rude ass attatchments of meanings to everything in my life)............Im autistic for the billionth time and as usual this is a form of abuse to continue to attatch a meaning that doesn't even apply to me or my personality which ultimately puts me in danger......as if it could get worse, Im already completely homeless and as usual my peer group consists of everything i despise and detest as I am as usual isolated from anyone I can relate to or brings me happiness.............these people never stop testing me and i never get to be myself or normal...........they keep me constantly upset as they jeer at me with accusations while this piece of shit bitch lives the life i worked for and almost died for repeatedly.....Im mortified at the level of abuse that I constantly endure........I should have been dead already from killing myself as everything I do in life is credited to someone else as if I dont even exist................I dont want to exist to these people ever again.........My mother is a selfish bitch, my father is a selfish asshole, and the rest of my family is on both sides resembles the same to continue to leave me out in the street after ten years..................................... Celene Dionne is under the impression for some reason that i am attempting to date her husband based on the fact that I always carry something around that says Rene on it (Its my middle name, as well as the name of a man that works at my old apartment complex and of course even though he doesn't need me in his life I still worry about him -the one from my apartment complex but then again I worry about everyone which is obviously not reciprocated with anyone)....................................Then they are saying that I had a husband, had, as in past tense.....when did I have the husband and why have I lost him........once again, I am autistic and dont understand............................................................................I dont like anyone currently and I have no intention of vying for anyone's side........I have lesbiens that still refuse to take no for an answer and am continually claiming me as theirs when I am not even close to gay....................................................I dont like almost everyone from my past currently, I think they are all using pieces of shit that could care less if I live or die--maybe ill get over it.........Im always being lied to and I dont know what to do as I am treated like a second class citizen at most in my own life........................................Im at the end of my rope and of course they are continuing to lie to everyone that is supportive........................six years ago I was put in an aweful place because of an entertainers daughter who her group of people thought that i was against (i wasn't against anyone) and was abused extensively on her behalf, now I've just gone through all of this abuse again and I find out that it is on behalf of another entertainers daughter (Tom and Katie Cruz) when i had no problem with her either............Both children are of conflicting groups so I have been abused extensively by both opposing forces for no reason when i have had no problem with either child at all......but thats allright I hear the cruz's are "satisfied" with the level of abuse i have now endured for what ever reason they thought that I should have been abused when I have nothing to do with suri and have my own life and problems...................................................................I had a pregnancy test done when in the emergency room at the hospital on february 8th 2013 and was told that the result was negative but that it had a reading of hc -2...........It is my belief that I was lied to.......If i am pregnant i am at least two months, i can tell by the way my body feels.........but then again what put me in the hospital is that i was having severe abdominal pains, severe to the point where i actually went in to a hospital when I am petrified of hospitals................these fucking people in my life lie about every fucking thing and things that have solely to do with my life, so if i am pregnant i will probably have to have an abortion in order to deal with the level of damage that my depressed drinking could have caused not thinking i am not pregnant so you have them to thank for the entire fiasco that you just tryed to dump on me.....................................................my body has felt strange the entire time and I have gained weight in my midsection and that doesn't happen only a month pregnant, once again another attempt to alter history and fate and lie about who the actual father of what could be a possible baby just like they did with my son Silus (lied their asses of about who his father was.)............................................................................These people that have been allowed to run my life have run it into the ground and on purpose, Im mortified at what they have gotten away with.........I dont even have to mention the levels of abuse they have gotten away with, this will go down in history as the worst life ever lived due to people being abusive toward one soul........not even jesus went through this level of abuse......went through three days of excruciating pain but was loved and cared about throughout his lifetime........Ive been dealing with ten years of excruciating abuse, beatings and kidnappings and no regard for the stress levels put on my brain while not being offered an ounce of love from any sourse........If i am pregnant my guess is that it is from December 27th - January 1st as there is no way that I am less than two months pregnant if I am just based on knowing my body but do you see what they hell they just tryed to pull on me and everyone else involved?????? Rewriting history, present and future to fit their wants and needs..........................I want everyone to leave me the hell alone as i have been lied to most likely and now have to deal with the damage caused by that lie and am also a person with feelings and am somewhat in shock as there is no way to get ahold of The international lawyer that could be possibly the father............i was honest and told them i had sex here in las vegas after the long ten years worth of celibacy and its either him or the guy from Romania that I was with.

I am not pregnant.......Id appreciate you not passing on additional rumors that affect my ability to have a relationship with a man as I am not a lesbien (no offense to lesbiens) but I do feel slightly harassed and forced into being a lesbien when I am the furthest thing from........(just so that you can continue passing me off as one when im not)..........also me being pregnant would never be a good thing as too many people have already terrorized and put me through hell, i refuse to allow another one of my children to go through what they've put me through, you obviously know nothing about me if you didn't know that i would consider my child above everything and anything, including my own wants and needs, not about to bring one into a world of pain ............and why do you keep calling me jealous of my own life.

Apparently, no one read my last entry

Something you should read

I am not here to make your life continuously easier while mine becomes increasingly unbearable......I did that for the last ten years.......If I ever loved you I most likely still do so dont worry but now you may have to start picking up the slack as I spend the majority of my time surrounded by people that loathe me and its definitely starting to wear on my nerves that everywhere I go I am openly degraded, put down, humiliated, threatened, and lied to and about.......Im pretty much out of tolerance for this kind of lifestyle as I am one of the most loving people on the planet and am totally, as usual, being completely and totally run over verbally and emotionally everyday and all day....... Do not continue to use the numbers I choose as my pin numbers or the passwords for my accounts as an invitation to invoke yourselves into my life, you've taken things way to far on this front...........I have no room to breathe the majority of the day and I dont need you getting all self ritcheous when it comes to things that have nothing to do with you or any portion of your life, it just adds to my stress levels to have you creating additional fictional things to accuse me of based on a pin number or a password.........I spend the majority of my day miserable since no one seems to have anything better to do than to try and get even with someone that never did anything to them ever on purpose and didn't have any knowledge of anything bad happening to them......I AM NOT HERE TO PASS YOUR TESTS.........TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE WASTED ON EVERY GROUP OF PEOPLE IMAGINABLE TRYING TO DECIDE WHERE THEY THINK MY LOYALTIES LIE..........I REALIZE THAT IT HASN'T OCCURRED TO YOU SO I TRY TO GO ALONG WITH IT AS BEST I CAN BUT YOU DONT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM A PERSON THAT MIGHT HAVE HAD MY OWN DREAMS AND GOALS AND THAT ALL THESE DIFFERENT FACTIONS HAVE ROBBED ME OF TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE (I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN IN PRISON AS I WASN'T EVER ALLOWED TO PROGRESS BEYOND A CERTAIN POINT AND WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO HAVE EVEN ONE RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER BEING ON EARTH FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS)...........................I HAVE NEVER ATTEMPTED TO HURT ANOTHER BEING ON PURPOSE EVER SO I'D LIKE TO REITERATE ANOTHER TIME THAT TYPING IN ALL CAPITOL LETTERS IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM AND ADMITTANCE OF GUILT.......................................I wish i knew how to get you to understand that of course i loved all of you but to watch my life being used in some of the manner that it has and is being used is slowly making me disgusted...............Im being used as a means to hook up individuals together (i do all the work and then they throw another girl in front of the guy that ends up helplessly in love with me at the end and suddenly I've created this "romance" saga that had nothing to do with anyone other than me. I am not referring to me being a "hooker" when I say that I am being used to hook people up.......(nothing against them as I have no problem with how anyone chooses live specific portions of their life) Having men use me to get their girlfriends and wives in with specific entities without so much as at least treating me with respect is to say the least, not why i am here on this planet......Im living at poverty level and I am being used to create global sensations etc without so much as a dime of compensation as I scrape by now homeless again thanks to the fact that on February 20th, 2012 I was done being used once again and thrown out onto the street for creating yet another person that took credit for every portion of my personality and used it to propel themselves forward (I was officially evicted from my apartment on February 22 at 9:45 am at the address of 10925 Southern Highlands Parkway Apt #2065 Las Vegas, Nv 89141............I wasn't wanted or lets just say "needed" any further and then tossed out onto the street with nothing but what I could carry... being homeless once again and of course with no monetary compensation for the newest "it" person that everyone is now so proud of (which is technically me) for the entire duration of time that I was there (I rented the apartment on January 4th, 2013) And this has been the pattern of what I have been so selfishly used for over the last decade and never once has someone taken the high road when offered all my hard work and efforts over a specific time period, not one person has refused to rip me off of my own existance and apply it to their own without more than the effort it took for them swindle it from me....................................................(by the way, I never had any furniture in my apartment, not even one piece and I was so happy to finally have a place where I could get away from every leach on earth and never once did it bother me (this is the difference between someone that has actually been through hell and someone that says they have)..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Ive grown tired, weary and out of tolerance for the entire thing......that's where Im at lately...........and your so focused on whether or not Im a hooker......here's how I feel about it.........I was damn near celibate for an entire decade and still during that entire time i was being put down and accused of hooking........I start concentrating on some way to have SOME FORM OF PLEASURE AND CONTROL IN MY OWN LIFE SINCE THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY AT ALL and you are still accusing me of being a hooker............Seems to me that no matter what the actual truth is all you'll ever concentrate on is something fictional or distorted or not even close to the actual version of events so why the hell should it matter anymore except on the level where you once again have to make me look bad so that the newest person that is being marketed as the most precious entity in the world will continue holding her title.............It isn't as if you actually give a bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp about me or the things that i have had to face, dodge, push through or anything else......the only reason why it matters is so that your newest prodigy can gain worldwide support............If i thought you actually cared, I might try a little harder........................You continue to make things up about me anyway why spend my energy on it anymore as I just wanted to love someone and it seems like you just want to find reasons to not love me...........That doesn't fit my qualifications for someone that I can lean on or trust ever......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Not to say that you should have to be with someone you dont want to be with, Im saying that Im no longer good at letting you destroy an innocent person to get the girl you want............Just be a #$%^&*( man about it, just say to the world that you dont want me, you want her and that your taking the high road by not exposing an innocent soul to further anguish just for you to have the girl of your dreams..........................................If no one sees the selfishness then I guess it doesn't matter anyway as i already gave up when I got to las vegas and my wallet was stolen back on October 12th.......... By the way.................I dont have to "get it" as its my life and I know every portion of it already considering I was there.............As far as my intelligence levels go I am one of the smartest people of the 21st century in my class (not referring to classroom, or economic class, but am referring to those of us that cant hear your thoughts ever) ........................................................................................................................Im done spinning my wheels for a greedy population of people.........deal with it and quit threatening me...............................