They are doing it again.....Making it appear as if my thoughts are coming from another source other than myself......Making you think that I can hear someone else think and making you think that all the loving thoughts I have been thinking are coming from another source...........ALSO CHECK OUT WWW.QUALLYCHALET.TUMBLR.COM AS THERE IS ANOTHER COUPLE OF NEW ENTRIES I HAVE POSTED............

I'm so sick of being treated as if I don't even exist.....Everytime I think of someone or giggle with laughter while thinking of someone they treat it as if I am "listening" to someone else think and begin crediting my thoughts to whatever person they say I can hear.......I CANT HEAR YOU THINK, NEVER COULD, DONT WANT TO HEAR YOU, DONT NEED TO HEAR YOU, COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HEARING YOU BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO LIKE THINKING ON MY OWN WAVE LENGTH (Hence the website wavelengthsandprocesses.blogspot.com)....It is so rare for me that the chaos of having everyone fight over my life subsides long enough to actually truely get totally involved thinking the things that I have "wanted" to think about.....This doesn't mean that all the loving feelings I have for various people and animals are ever reciprocated (primarily I think because all the ones I am thinking lovingly about have been made to believe that the thoughts were coming from another person so why reciprocate love I have for them when some other girl is being fallen in love with for just existing while I think of the people I love-hence the last 10 years of "couples" that have gotten together while unbeknownst to some of the men, my thoughts passed off as the girl that they were told was thinking of them)...................................................................................................Im getting irritated as no portion of my own existance is ever credited to me, when without me, half of this wouldn't even be going on...............................................................My thoughts today have been............................The never ending love for my husband (the one's that I was assigned at birth that I never seem to be good enough for but that also have been told that all the loving thoughts for them were coming from another source so no wonder they dont have any feeling for me at all...Husbands assigned at birth for protection purposes only but not necessarily were going to be man and wife with me as adults).............................The want and need for a wonderful man that isn't the assigned husband to come along and love me also..................................I also think of a spanish man often that I can't name in order to respect his anonymity and also don't know if he even wants me to be thinking of him but I can't seem to help it as I am completely and totally enamoured by him and no he isn't part of the 13 men I once wrote about and I'm completely bashful when it comes to him, not to mention I just about have to turn myself inside out in order to not think of him sexually as I worry that it may be unwelcome, but that for some reason drives me insane, thoughts of him started in January, it's almost April and I feel like Im dying inside some days based on I actually miss him and miss him often and have cried over him multiple times.....yes, I do feel rediculous because as usual my thoughts of him have been obviously passed off as some other girls over the last three months, including probably the time when I imagined falling asleep in his arms, the reason I cry over him is because I know that no one will ever allow me to have anyone that I love and continue to tell the world that I am craving people that I have never wanted in my entire existence and that the ones that I do want and love deeply are passed off as some other girls soulmates when I am the one that can't seem to live with out them as they continue to link me up with people I have never even had anything in common with and pass them off as my soul mates....for all I know he thinks nothing of me based on the lies told to him and probably never thinks of me as a possible mate as he was told that I have STD's when I don't.................................................I have also been thinking about the BETA fish that is at the location that I have stayed over the last two days as its dorsal fin is drooping as some of the fish's fins do in captivity and when I put my hand on it's tank it swims toward me and I talk to it...Today it puffed its face up slightly and I told it that it resembled a Lion Fish (A lion with its mane as its fins were fanned out when it puffed its face up and last night, when it swam toward me, I was saying to it "you just want to be held also, don't you, just like me"......................................................I have also taken 2 showers today as I am on my period and had to go so many days in between showers over the last three weeks and just want to feel clean as possible for once while having to deal with a world that mocks and humiliates me as much as possible in order to praise people that didn't accomplish what was said, took a shower last night also...........................................................also have been thinking about "the buddhas" my nickname for every child on the earth as I have been thumbing through magazines looking at pictures of children from Haiti as well as other children in the Magazines, not to mention that I am residing with two adorable buddhas, one filipino and one mexican (I found out that all the loving thoughts toward children that I have been thinking got credited to Tara and now when I use my own term that I coined for children (Buddha) they bow to her....I don't need anyone to bow to me but is anyone understanding how upsetting it is to have your own thoughts life and personality and watch someone else always be adored for it while I literally get treated like shit...........................................................I am so tired of being treated like some sort of desparate, groupie, hoebag, slut, pedifile, killer, bad person everyday of my life while you treat the girls around me like gold that simply got credit for my personality, thoughts, and life's events that I have been though as well as my own experiences...........You adore them everyday of my life and it wasn't even them that did what was said or thought the thoughts or lived through the hardship and I live with this everyday of my life being treated less than an animal................By the way I love every creature on this planet including insects as whenever times got really rough, the one entity that never let me down was, of all things, an insect....I have never hated bugs or spiders and actually made friends with the scorpion that had made a home in my apartment in Las Vegas as it COULD hear ME (I woke up one day and it was crawling on my arm, I put on the carpet and started talking to it and it responded)...........YOU've been misinformed the entire time.............................................................................. I WANT YOU TO THINK OF SOMETHING FOR A MOMENT, MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS SEEM TO BE FULL OF HONOR, COME WITH RESPECT, ARE HIGHLY REVERED AND PRAISED AMONG NATIONS, AS LONG AS THEY HAVE SOMEONE ELSES FACE ATTATCHED TO THEM.....YOU BOW, YOU COMMEMORATE, YOU PARTY FOR, YOU GET TOGETHER FOR, YOU TREAT LIKE FAMILY FOR, YOU AWARD SCHOLARSHIPS FOR, YOU SHOWER WITH GIFTS FOR EVERY ACCOMPLISHMENT I HAVE MADE OVER THE LAST DECADE-PROVIDED THESE ACCOMPLISHMENTS COME WITH A DIFFERENT FACE THAN MINE AND AFTER ALL THESE THINGS MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS PROVOKE, YOU TURN AROUND AND TREAT LIKE SCUM OF THE EARTH THE BEING THEY ACTUALLY CAME FROM--ME, LACI RENEE ISSEL THE REAL ONE BORN JANUARY 26TH 1975, REDDING CALIFORNIA, THE ONE WITH INVERTED NIPPLES AND TWO SCARS ON MY FOREHEAD, WITH AN OVERWEIGHT BODY AND ORANGE AROUND MY PUPILS WITH GREEN IRIS'S.........i AM THE ONE THAT YOU LOVE BUT DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. ..............................................................................................................................................................................When I say I am heartbroken, I have just given you a multitude of reasons that don't always revolve not having a man.....even though I miss having one that wants to be with me. I haven't had a boyfriend because of all the lies in close to twelve years and I'm not a lesbien.....I'm really not into being with someone that doesn't want to actually be with me.........................