How can you leave me and my child behind when I have repeatedly told you what the truth is, I'll try again....

I am autistic which means that I think backwards compared to you and that I remember and forget the same things all day long. One minute I remember I wasn't supposed to talk to a certain individual and the next you'll see me talking to that same individual because I have forgotten not only that I wasn't supposed to talk to them but I also forgot the risks involved.
Nothing I do is ever intentional to upset, hinder or hurt a person or situation. I am litterally struggling with autism.How lucky you are to not have this problem because not only is it frustrating for you when I dont do the right thing but in my world creates problems of being accused of purposely adding strife to situations but also leaves me alone most of the time and totally alienated from everyone and anyone that could help me.THEYare either under the impression that I dont care or that based on how things "look" that I am guilty of some transgression.
If you think that you are frustrated, remember that all it does to your life is "frustrate" you and then your off to continue to live your life. In my life here's what happens, I am frustrated and then beaten, kidnapped or raped, assaulted in some way or lied about to the point where my life is left destroyed and in shambles.
A perfect example is the fact that I have just listened to someone tell me that the following statement has been let out as public knowledge...."L Issel (ME) has attempted to pull tubes out of her infant child and that I "assaulted" one of the staff members of UCSF medical center.............THE PREVIOUS STATEMENT NEVER HAPPENED!!!!!!! Not only did it never happen but the false accusation makes me look as if I am some sort of lunatic. Not only that but I have people already trying to punish me for events that never transgressed.
Im still being threatened with a terrorist brig and I still have people making decisions whether or not to cut off my hands and fingers.......Why would anyone ever chop off someones hands or fingers to begin with?
Does anyone ever understand the level of fear that I live with when I find out that someone doesn't beleive my honesty?I am constantly being threatened and to you if someone doesn't beleive me then all it means in your world is that they think I am a lyer.........In my world them thinking Im a lyer leads to institutionalization, encarseration, physical assault, my child being yanked away from our bond, and possibly death. Why would I lie, I have too much to lose.
Im beyond tired of pleading with people to recognize the most basic of human rights. I am treated constantly as if I have no rights and because people had to lie about me to obtain positions of authority, fame or wealth I feel like me and my son will be constantly in jeopardy of a setup or of abuse. Im petrafied and you treat me as if I am trying to make the world think that I am some sort of princess (which by the way was never something I thought or was trying to make people believe but I now have people trying to make you think that I think so that you will think badly and possibly try and lynch me for)
Dont you understand that these people that are getting you all riled up against me do this for sport? They video tape your reactions, post them and all sit around and laugh as I get arrested, injected or assaulted. They make money turning you against me and they make money everytime I am abused and everytime it is viewed by large groups of people! This isn't something that I am participating in, this is something that is being forced on me and my child.

Have I learned a lot in the last hours or what?

The Patels, who I sold a "living trust" to back in 2002, are participating in an all out grudge war against me that now includes my son.
I worked for a company called "Family First" based out of Freemont California.
What is the saddest thing ever is that not only was I honest with the Patel's but I actually loved their family. I would sit for extended periods of time interested and listening to stories of India, arranged marriages, children and all of their Gods. Probably what breaks my heart the most is that I was genuinely interested in them and their families and did my best to give them the plan that was best to protect thier families and their incomes.
I find out that they are participating in this effort to make it look like I somehow was dishonest and or that I ripped them off. I would never do that, especially to them.
My son is now being referred to in certain circles as "the commission" which totally freaks me out.
One thing that I know about the Patel's is that they will probably realize that this is a misunderstanding and no longer view me as some sort of bad person. They are all loving decent people.

The second thing is that I am being accused of "acting" again for absolutely no reason.
People keep making decisions about my life at hearings that are being held behind my back and adding additional unwanted people to my life.
What I am really dealing with in this never ending saga seems to be "Cruel Intentions".
Now I hear they are even making arrangements to send me to the same terrorist brig that they brought and abused me at in 2007. Why? I have no clue! im not a terrorist and never have been, but I was probably breathing again without permission, because they keep trying to punish me for things that I am either not aware of or have absolutely no knowledge of in the first place.
They keep calling me "okay" and using this word as a means to punish me some more and it seems as if the abuse is always justified by all of my agressors because they have never had to endure what they have been dishing out. Again....I dont even know what I did or didn't do to be considered "okay" I HAVE ASPERGERS SYNDROME AND YOU ARE PARTICIPATING IN MENTAL CRUELTY AND ABUSE.
I want my son back!!!!!!!!!!!!! I never even got to parent him, he's been in the hospital the entire duration of his life.
These people, in the last month, think that I am making deals for punishment of things that never happened. They abuse me constantly and then they think that I am making a deal with them if I "use the computer", or "go outside", things that are normal actions normally are suddenly turned into taboo things when I have to deal with them.
Im bleeding and cant even use the bathroom without them thinking I am against the "FEDS" or against some other government entity. They are rediculous about it.
I want my son back what they have done to my life is totally illeagal and the secret service knows that not only am i autistic but that what they are contributing to is totally unfair.
I want my son back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ihaven't done anything wrong or against the law and I dont always "know" what they accuse me of "knowing" until after the fact 99% of the time.

No, Im not making deals with stalking criminals

Ur done?????? All it took for you to want your normal existance back was what, a couple of weeks?????? Lucky you that you haven't been me all these years getting beaten raped and kidnapped and falsely accused of every crime on the planet. I wanted my life back 6 years ago, I was DONE then. While my income was being siphoned out of my writing and my blogs plagerized not to mention all my actual writing on paper, I was left to die outside with no regard for my hardship or safety. And now, your done. Well I wish that is all it took for me to get my life back to normal.
Now Im being threatened with being committed if I dont give my child up for adoption. My son, the one thing that I gave up fighting all of you monsters for was just to be left alone with him.
Dont ever accuse me of having an orgasm either just because I have his pictures near me at night...how sick can you get and how desparate.
Apparently all this happened to me because someone thought I was being "okay", whatever the hell that means.
Oh and now I'm supposedly getting a pardon for a crime that was made up in order for someone to look like the good guy once again and for me to look like the vagrant criminal once again. I dont need a pardon for something that didn't happen.
You are also participating in mental cruelty by not acknowledging my autism and to be quite honest I happen to love gay people (not the story you told).
I love my son and I am only securing his immeadiate future by involving a decent couple because I am treated with such little respect that Im worried for my sons care. I have a place to live now and the offer of a couple of jobs. I am stable despite your efforts to push my buttons and make me look psycho.
I am going to be a great mother, you took everything I ever had but not my son.
Im not stalking anyone and no i didn't want 2, whatever that means. Im autistic!

Im trying my best to be as humble as possible but I have to admit, it sometimes is hard when I see people getting away with destroying mine and my son

It saddens me to know that there is a population that is putting me on trial and not even allowing me the opportunity to say my side of the story.
I've heard that the mayor has said to "ignore" me and that some girl is naming my son and that they have given rights of my son to someone else.
Is anyone aware that I am not playing games and that I am extremely worried about my infant son, alone in the hospital 23 hours a day. Why doesn't anyone understand that I never planned on giving him up for adoption and that it really seems as if my rights are being run over and totally "ignored"
What is the obsession with keeping me away from my son?
All I ever hear how its "just" and yet no one seems to know the whole story but yet everyone is telling you that I am somehow guilty of something that is probably made up.
I hope i haven't offended those that I care about, Oma, Opa, Trude and my dad. Most likely though they were also playing the game and I am all worried for no reason.
Could you all stop setting me up?
I would like to be a mom now.
And by the way why am I considered guilty for writing this blog? I haven't done anything wrong and would just kindly like to raise my child now.
Im really not playing.
I heard that they "cleared" the officer that was under investigation for misconduct and abuse.............my question is............did someone get paid off? Because that is the only way that you could "clear" what happened to me.
Like I said I am trying to be as humble and nonsnotty as possible but it is getting harder and harder.
Why would my kid be deaf to me? Dont you feel bad for separating a son from the only parent he's ever known for another version of "the emporers new clothes?" Another person that claims to be communicating with my kid telepathically and getting everyone to actually believe it. How do you explain that when I talk to my child he responds and starts "cooing"
Dont any of you have a backbone? Isn't someone going to stand up to this lyer and tell her that she is wrong for what she is doing to me and my child. she isn't communicating with him, she and her group of people are totally lying to you and making you believe that she is pulling something off that she isn't.
My kid isn't deaf to me. He loves me, I am his mother.
Oh yeah, another fake girl getting relocated thanks to my information, life story and research. Great.
The next person that decides to be "me" could you kindly live the REAL experience. You see, my troubles dont EVER end because I have people like you leaching off my existance. Your getting relocated after about a month of you having to "rough it". I have been in hell for 6 years, while you use me to get relocated, Im getting mud slung at me......and it hasn't ended for the last 6 years. Your the millionth girl that I have been used for and only to get called a "hoe" in the end while you get credit for my intelligence level information because I took the chance and trusted a stranger that was secretly working for your pathetic group of people that take from me constantly and dont even have the decency to leave me with an intact reputation as you get whisked off to relocationville.
I've got people that have never spent 30 days outside trying to tell me that I am a groupie and treating me like they are doing me a favor by allowing my existance, telling me whether or not I am allowed to parent my own child and they are all half criminals themselves. I am not a criminal and I cant get rid of some of these people, its aweful, they just stalk and piggy back me constantly, use me for my information and then turn around and treat me as if I am mentally ill so that they can maintain control.

I just got threatened again.

I have now been threatened with a mental ward seclusion room if I am at any point found to be "okay". AGAIN, I AM AUTISTIC AND SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT YOU THINK THAT I AM BEING "OKAY" AS I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU, DONT WANT TO KNOW YOU AND YOU AGAIN HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE IN MY LIFE. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT CONSTITUTES AS "OKAY".
ME AND MY SON, WE ARE GOING TO EVENTUALLY START TO ENJOY THIS LIFE AND WE OWE NOTHING TO PEOPLE LIKE YOU. BOTH OF US HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO LOVE, LAUGH, SMILE AND HAVE A PERSONALITY UNIQUE AND ALL OF OUR OWN. WE BOTH HAVE BEEN THROUGH TO MUCH TO HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT SOME STRANGER THINKS THAT WE ARE "OKAY"

HERE'S SOME ADVISE...............NEXT TIME YOU FEEL THE NEED TO THREATEN ME AND MY SON, HOW BOUT YOU JUST GET A GOD DAMN LIFE ASSHOLE, AS WE WOULD NEVER IN A MILLION YEARS THINK TO THREATEN YOU FOR CONDUCTING YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU SEE FIT.
6 YEARS OF YOUR DEMANDS AND THREATS AS YOU CONTINUE TO LIVE YOUR LIFE AND HAVE RIGHTS THAT YOU CONTINUE TO TAKE AWAY FROM ME AND NOW MY SON. YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR YOUR PAST ABUSES AND YOU JUST ASSUME THAT THE VERBAL THREATS WILL AS USUAL GO WITHOUT PUNISHMENT. YOU ARE REALLY STARTING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE AREN'T YOU. NO MORE ABUSE, VERBAL, PHYSICAL, MENTAL, NONE OF IT IS NECESSARY. IF YOU WANT SOMETHING TO CONTROL GO GET A F-ING DOG OR SOMETHING. ME AND MY SON ARE FLESH AND BLOOD AND WE ARE FAMILY, NOT YOUR PUPPETS.

I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOUR THREATS. I AM NOT A BAD PERSON, HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG AND AM NOT A MENTAL PATIENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM TIRED OF YOUR CONSTANT INTIMIDATION TACTICS FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN YOU WISH TO CONTROL SOMEONE YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT.
GO F--- YOURSELF AS I DONT LISTEN TO YOUR THREATS AND REFUSE TO LIVE WITH PEOPLE LIKE YOU THREATENING ME WHEN I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU.
AGAIN I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG AND HOPE YOU ROT IN HELL FOR ONCE AGAIN EVEN TRYING TO GO THERE WITH ME.

STILL NOT PLAYING.

AGAIN FROM THE FBI WEBSITE IN REGARD TO HUMAN TRAFFICKING

it's sad but true: here in this country, people are being bought, sold, and smuggled.
They are trapped in lives of misery—often beaten, starved, and forced to work as prostitutes or to take grueling jobs as migrant, domestic, restaurant, or factory workers with little or no pay. We’re working to stop human trafficking—not only because of the personal and psychological toll it takes on society, but also because it facilitates the illegal movement of immigrants across borders and provides a ready source of income for organized crime groups and even terrorists.

Our Victim Specialists (along with victims specialists from the U.S. Attorney Offices and/or other non-government victim assistance service providers) work with human trafficking victims to not only advise them of their rights as victims but also to assure they get the help they need to address their short-term and long-term needs—like legal and repatriation services, immigration relief, housing, employment, education, job training, and child care.

From the FBI website, you may want to review

Color of Law

Report Civil Rights Violations
File a Report with Your Local FBI Office
File a Report over Our Internet Tip Line
Visit Our Victim Assistance Site

Resources
Deprivation of Rights Under Color
of Law Statute
Principles for Promoting Police Integrity
Addressing Police Misconduct Brochure
Law Enforcement Misconduct FAQs

Civil Rights Home
U.S. law enforcement officers and other officials like judges, prosecutors, and security guards have been given tremendous power by local, state, and federal government agencies—authority they must have to enforce the law and ensure justice in our country. These powers include the authority to detain and arrest suspects, to search and seize property, to
bring criminal charges, to make rulings in court, and to use deadly force in certain situations.

Preventing abuse of this authority, however, is equally necessary to the health of our nation’s democracy. That’s why it’s a federal crime for anyone acting under “color of law” willfully to deprive or conspire to deprive a person of a right protected by the Constitution or U.S. law. “Color of law” simply means that the person is using authority given to him or her by a local, state, or federal government agency.

The FBI is the lead federal agency for investigating color of law abuses, which include acts carried out by government officials operating both within and beyond the limits of their lawful authority. Off-duty conduct may be covered if the perpetrator asserted his or her official status in some way.

During Fiscal Year 2005, the FBI investigated more than 1,100 color of law cases. Most of these crimes fall into five broad areas:

• excessive force;
• sexual assaults;
• false arrest and fabrication of evidence;
• deprivation of property; and
• failure to keep from harm.

Excessive force:
Violations of federal law occur when it can be shown that the force used was willfully "unreasonable" or "excessive."

Sexual assaults by officials acting under color of law can happen in jails, during traffic stops, or in other settings where officials might use their position of authority to coerce an individual into sexual compliance. The compliance is generally gained because of a threat of an official action against the person if he or she doesn’t comply. (THE MAN FROM MAINE/CANADA IN MY CASE)

False arrest and fabrication of evidence:
such as an unlawful detention or illegal confiscation of property—that a violation of a person's civil rights may occur.
SHERRIFFS DEPARTMENTS IN MARIN, POLICE DEPARTMENTS IN TENESSEE, SANTA ANA CALIFORNIA, MARIN, ALABAMA, IN MY CASE

Fabricating evidence against or falsely arresting an individual also violates the color of law statute, taking away the person’s rights of due process and unreasonable seizure. In the case of deprivation of property, the color of law statute would be violated by unlawfully obtaining or maintaining a person’s property, which oversteps or misapplies the official’s authority.
SHERRIFFS DEPARTMENTS IN MARIN, POLICE DEPARTMENTS IN TENESSEE, SANTA ANA CALIFORNIA, MARIN, ALABAMA, IN MY CASE

The Fourteenth Amendment secures the right to due process; the Eighth Amendment prohibits the use of cruel and unusual punishment. During an arrest or detention, these rights can be violated by the use of force amounting to punishment (summary judgment). The person accused of a crime must be allowed the opportunity to have a trial and should not be subjected to punishment without having been afforded the opportunity of the legal process.

Failure to keep from harm: The public counts on its law enforcement officials to protect local communities. If it’s shown that an official willfully failed to keep an individual from harm, that official could be in violation of the color of law statute.


Civil Applications

Title 42, U.S.C., Section 14141 makes it unlawful for state or local law enforcement agencies to allow officers to engage in a pattern or practice of conduct that deprives persons of rights protected by the Constitution or U.S. laws. This law, commonly referred to as the Police Misconduct Statute, gives the Department of Justice authority to seek civil remedies in cases where law enforcement agencies have policies or practices that foster a pattern of misconduct by employees. This action is directed against an agency, not against individual officers. The types of issues which may initiate a pattern and practice investigation include:

• Lack of supervision/monitoring of officers' actions;
• Lack of justification or reporting by officers on incidents involving the use of force;
• Lack of, or improper training of, officers; and
• Citizen complaint processes that treat complainants as adversaries.

Under Title 42, U.S.C., Section 1997, the Department of Justice has the ability to initiate civil actions against mental hospitals, retardation facilities, jails, prisons, nursing homes, and juvenile detention facilities when there are allegations of systemic derivations of the constitutional rights of institutionalized persons.

Title 18, U.S.C., Section 242
Deprivation of Rights Under Color of Law
This statute makes it a crime for any person acting under color of law, statute, ordinance, regulation, or custom to willfully deprive or cause to be deprived from any person those rights, privileges, or immunities secured or protected by the Constitution and laws of the U.S.

This law further prohibits a person acting under color of law, statute, ordinance, regulation or custom to willfully subject or cause to be subjected any person to different punishments, pains, or penalties, than those prescribed for punishment of citizens on account of such person being an alien or by reason of his/her color or race.

Acts under "color of any law" include acts not only done by federal, state, or local officials within the bounds or limits of their lawful authority, but also acts done without and beyond the bounds of their lawful authority; provided that, in order for unlawful acts of any official to be done under "color of any law," the unlawful acts must be done while such official is purporting or pretending to act in the performance of his/her official duties. This definition includes, in addition to law enforcement officials, individuals such as Mayors, Council persons, Judges, Nursing Home Proprietors, Security Guards, etc., persons who are bound by laws, statutes ordinances, or customs.

Punishment varies from a fine or imprisonment of up to one year, or both, and if bodily injury results or if such acts include the use, attempted use, or threatened use of a dangerous weapon, explosives, or fire shall be fined or imprisoned up to ten years or both, and if death results, or if such acts include kidnapping or an attempt to kidnap, aggravated sexual abuse or an attempt to commit aggravated sexual abuse, or an attempt to kill, shall be fined under this title, or imprisoned for any term of years or for life, or both, or may be sentenced to death.

itle 18, U.S.C., Section 245
Federally Protected Activities
1) This statute prohibits willful injury, intimidation, or interference, or attempt to do so, by force or threat of force of any person or class of persons because of their activity as:

a) A voter, or person qualifying to vote...;

b) a participant in any benefit, service, privilege, program, facility, or activity provided or administered by the United States;

HENCE MY FEDERAL ASSISTANCE (WELFARE AND OR FOODSTAMPS)
c) an applicant for federal employment or an employee by the federal government;

d) a juror or prospective juror in federal court; and

e) a participant in any program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.

HENCE MY FEDERAL ASSISTANCE (WELFARE AND OR FOODSTAMPS)
2) Prohibits willful injury, intimidation, or interference or attempt to do so, by force or threat of force of any person because of race, color, religion, or national origin and because of his/her activity as:

a) A student or applicant for admission to any public school or public College;

b) a participant in any benefit, service, privilege, program, facility, or activity provided or administered by a state or local government;

c) an applicant for private or state employment, private or state employee; a member or applicant for membership in any labor organization or hiring hall; or an applicant for employment through any employment agency, labor organization or hiring hall;

d) a juror or prospective juror in state court;

e) a traveler or user of any facility of interstate commerce or common carrier; or

f) a patron of any public accommodation, including hotels, motels, restaurants, lunchrooms, bars, gas stations, theaters...or any other establishment which serves the public and which is principally engaged in selling food or beverages for consumption on the premises.

3) Prohibits interference by force or threat of force against any person because he/she is or has been, or in order to intimidate such person or any other person or class of persons from participating or affording others the opportunity or protection to so participate, or lawfully aiding or encouraging other persons to participate in any of the benefits or activities listed in items (1) and (2), above without discrimination as to race, color, religion, or national origin.

Punishment varies from a fine or imprisonment of up to one year, or both, and if bodily injury results or if such acts include the use, attempted use, or threatened use of a dangerous weapon, explosives, or fire shall be fined or imprisoned up to ten years or both, and if death results or if such acts include kidnapping or an attempt to kidnap, aggravated sexual abuse or an attempt to commit aggravated sexual abuse, or an attempt to kill, shall be subject to imprisonment for any term of years or for life or may be sentenced to death.
STALKERS FROM ALL STATES, I SUGGEST YOU PAY CLOSE ATTENTION TO THIS ONE. PAUL, ROBBIE, GREG FRANKLIN, SHERRIFFS DEPARTMENTS, AND POLICE DEPARTMENTS THAT HAVE ALREADY PARTICIPATED IN THE ABUSES THAT I HAVE ENDURED....IE KIDNAPPING, RAPE AND PHYSICAL ASSAULTS (TOO MANY TO NUMBER)

itle 42, U.S.C., Section 14141
Pattern and Practice
This civil statute was a provision within the Crime Control Act of 1994 and makes it unlawful for any governmental authority, or agent thereof, or any person acting on behalf of a governmental authority, to engage in a pattern or practice of conduct by law enforcement officers or by officials or employees of any governmental agency with responsibility for the administration of juvenile justice or the incarceration of juveniles that deprives persons of rights, privileges, or immunities secured or protected by the Constitution or laws of the United States.

Whenever the Attorney General has reasonable cause to believe that a violation has occurred, the Attorney General, for or in the name of the United States, may in a civil action obtain appropriate equitable and declaratory relief to eliminate the pattern or practice.

Types of misconduct covered include, among other things:

1. Excessive Force
2. Discriminatory Harassment
3. False Arrest
4. Coercive Sexual Conduct
5. Unlawful Stops, Searches, or Arrests

you do realize that you are leaving me and my son in the middle of a war zone.

AGAIN, I HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. I WENT TO SEE MY SON TODAY AND WAS THREATENED REPEATEDLY BY HOSPITAL STAFF AND PHYSICAL VIOLENCE WAS EVEN THREATENED (METAL PIPING I WAS THREATENED WITH) FOR REASONS THAT I AM UNCLEAR ON. WHO ARE THESE GOD AWEFUL PEOPLE? WHY ON EARTH ARE ALL THESE PEOPLE INVOLVED IN MY EXISTANCE IN THE FIRST PLACE? I'VE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME AND MY SON AND I STILL DONT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS UNKNOWN ENTITY IS TRYING TO GET ME KILLED. WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU FOR YOU TO BE THIS HOSTILE TO TAKE YOUR ANGER AND AGRESSION OUT ON MY CHILD AND MYSELF.
I WENT TO SEE MY SON AND HE HAD BAGS UNDER HIS EYES, HIS SKIN WAS BLUEISH IN TINT, HIS FEET FROZEN, HIS EYES WILDLY TRYING TO FOCUS BUT HE SEEMED PANICKED, AND HIS LITTLE FISTS WERE TIGHTENED UP SO STRESSFULLY THAT I ALMOST LOST IT. THIS WAS HIS STATE WHEN I FIRST WALKED IN THE DOOR AND IT TOOK ALMOST 45 MINUTES TO RELAX HIM, HE WAS SO PETRAFIED. WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO MY CHILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU HURT AN INNOCENT INFANT?
WHY DO YOU CONTINUE TO BREAK THE LAW TO TRY AND BULLY AN INNOCENT WOMAN AND HER CHILD. YOU ARE A MONSTER TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING TO MY KID. WHO AGRESSES A 23 DAY OLD INFANT THAT CANT EVEN FIGHT BACK?
WHAT YOUR DOING IS ILLEAGAL IN ALMOST ALL COUNTRIES BUT YOU SEEM TO THINK THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO ABIDE BY THE LAW.
WHO KNOWS WHAT YOU HAVE LIED ABOUT THIS TIME IN ORDER TO MAKE ME LOSE BACKING BY THE PEOPLE THAT BELIEVED ME. YOU LIED ABOUT ME AGAIN TO GET YOUR WAY AND KIDNAP MY SON. WHY WONT YOU GO FIND ANOTHER INFANT THAT IS UP FOR ADOPTION? MINE ISN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I DONT HAVE A BABY TO GIVE HIM AWAY TO A PIECE OF SHIT BULLYER LIKE YOU. KILL ME, OR FORGET TRYING TO TAKE MY KID. LIKE I WOULD EVER LET HIM BE RAISED BY SOMEONE THAT TRYED TO KILL HIM AND THEN BLAME HIS MOTHER FOR IT AND THEN TURN AROUND AND PUBLICALLY WANT TO ADOPT HIM. WHAT A FUCKING SICKO YOU ARE.
YOU REALLY ARE AMAZING AT MAKING IT LOOK AS IF YOUR SOME SORT OF HERO. YOU ARE A VIOLENT, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE PERSON THAT TRIES TO TURN EVERYTHING THAT YOU DO TO ME AND MY SON AROUND ON ME AND MY SON.
YOU REALLY ARE GOING TO HELL. YOU MAY EVEN SUCCEED IN KILLING US BOTH BUT THERE IS REALLY ONLY ONE PLACE FOR YOU.
IM BEING THREATENED WITH THE DEATH PENALTY BECAUSE OF YOUR ACTIONS, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SCUM OF THE EARTH THAT HAS TO MAKE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THE FALL FOR YOUR ACTIONS. WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT YOUR SCAPEGOATING........PROBABLY FEDERAL PRISON. THAT IS WHY YOU ALWAYS MAKE IT SEEM AS IF i HAVE DONE SOMETHING HORRENDOUS. YOUR PATHETIC, YOU RELY ON PEOPLES WEEKNESSES TO GET AHEAD IN LIFE AND NOW YOU ARE USING A NEW BORN INFANT IN THE PROCESS.
YOU'VE GOT PEOPLE THINKING THAT I AM SOME SORT OF THREAT ALL THE WAY UP TO THE PRESIDENT......WHAT THE FUCK? I'VE DONE NOTHING TO DESERVE YOUR ABUSE AND NEITHER HAS MY SON. YOU HAVE RAPED ME REPEATEDLY, KIDNAPPED ME REPEATEDLY, BEATEN ME REPEATEDLY AND KEPT ME HOMELESS FOR THE DURATION OF 6 YEARS FOR NO REASON AND ANY BAD KARMA I HAD COMING HAS DEFINITELY ALREADY BEEN DISHED OUT, BUT YOU, YOU ACT LIKE ITS ALRIGHT TO HURT AN INNOCENT INFANT. wHAT THE FUCK? hE IS ONLY 23 DAYS OLD AND YOU KEEP USING US AS IF WE ARE SOME SORT OF PAWNS IN A GAME THAT YOU PLAY.
FUCK YOUR GAME YOU PIECES OF SHIT BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'VE DONE NOTHING TO YOU, AND YOU ARE JUST HOPPING ON THE BAND WAGON. YOUR POWER CANT GO ON FOREVER.
I AM A US CITIZEN AND AM TIRED OF YOUR THREATS. I'VE DONE NOTHING TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John Barros (the 25 year old version only) the father of our son.

Could you please stop competing against me for the affections, attentions, and custody of our child. You are seriously starting to break my heart. I am not against you in anyway shape or form but I have to admit its getting hard to be on your side when I see so many people of star like status working overtime to take my son away from me and on your behalf.
You are really testing my forgivability right about now. I want you to always have access to our son as long as you want but for you to exercise some sort of "authority" over me is completely uncalled for.
Again.... I carried our baby with no help from you for almost 38 weeks. In fact I had no help from hardly anyone. I was guilt tripped my ENTIRE pregnancy by people that were much more well off than me, and was threatened for eating, almost all of the 38 weeks of the pregnancy. I had no help with shelter, from either family or friends. I had no protection from stalkers and I was being threatened and harassed the duration of my pregnancy.
Like I said, I am trying to be understanding of you because you are my childs father...BUT.....As I went through hell and completely on my own for 38 weeks often crying myself to sleep, alone, and camping most of the time in order to remove myself from constant stalking, it doesn't seem at all decent that you should be able to come into the picture, after I went through all that, and just start calling the shots.
I realize that you have spent a couple of weeks or months not eating and for that you should be commended. Me and our son are greatful for your sacrifice. I would never in a million years want for you to be in pain and I am concerned for your health and safety, just as I have always been, because you share genes in our sons body. I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, and have ever since I found out that I was pregnant with our child, because that is what I promised our son verbally ever since he was the size of a dime. I have talked to him on a continuous level throughout his developement about how I would never keep him from his daddy and about how no matter how mad at you I ever got in the future that I would shield him from any possible negativity regarding you.....meaning that if I got really irritated with you that I would keep it to myself while around him and do nothing but praise his fathers name while in his presence. The reason why I made this promise is that my parents were always talking negatively about the other while in my presence and all it did was make me feel bad about myself.
I promise to honor my words to our son but again I am fearful that you lack the maturity to reciprocate what I am trying to instill in him.....meaning.....I dont see you sticking up for me even when you are beyond irritated with me for our son's benefit. All of your super star friends are basically trying to convince everyone to just leave me out of our sons life completely and expect you to start dictating whether or not I have certain rights. You are totally breaking my heart when I have extended so much graciousness to our son about his father, when to be totally honest, you had me convinced that you were going to be an absentee parent and you have been totally sneaky behind my back.
You hung up on me and changed your number in order to be "cool" with your new found super star friends and began working behind my back and enlisted the help of so many people (while I have never really never had anyone to stick up for me) that began making decisions about our kid as if I wasn't even there. Like I didn't even exist or have a pulse. Hence the microchip that has now been installed in our child.
It is this that hurts me the most. You didn't have to be so selfish. On one side of the spectrum the world sees as you starve yourself for me and the childs benefit (or possibly your own, as I am unsure about your motives) and on the other side of the spectrum the world doesn't see the side of you that has conspired secretely against me behind my back, and with super star help for many months now. You are even "in" with MY old friends, people that you previously had no knowledge of. The whole time I was crying myself to sleep camping outside, cold and alone, you were getting in with members of my family as well as old friends. I feel totally broadsided.
All I have ever wanted was for you to enjoy being a father to our son and for you to treat me with the respect I deserve for not only birthing, but guarding his development and at all costs, while being ignored and rejected by everyone on earth not to mention the constant burden of having to trek accross the country, twice, with no form of transportation, evading some very threatening stalkers.
It would have been much easier on both your son and I had you just said..."I would love to be a father to our son and let me help you and protect you from these aweful people" You and your family and your network of support could have helped both of us a long time ago. We could have been working together a long time ago. With you and your network of support I could have been something for you to be proud of by now instead of your constant need to "shun" me. Im not trying to be your girlfriend as I suspect with as handsome as you are (sometimes our son totally looks like you and sometimes he totally looks like me) that you have someone very special in your life at least I hope so for your happiness.
To be brutally honest with you though I am totally hurt. This child of ours was litterally the only thing I wanted in this life and with all the stars and the people on Rodeo trying to tell you to take him from me, I feel like once again, I got shafted on a project that was litterally "my baby". Our son was all that I had and all that I ever wanted. I might be poor but the reason is becuase no one will just ease up on trying to make me everyone's Jesus Christ. These people litterally use me so that they dont have to do the work and I am left out in the street homeless and alone everytime they are done using me then they turn around and try to say that I was "taking advantage" of them in order to make it look like my suffering is somehow justified.
John, I now have people trying to jail me and get me committed just because I dont accept their abuse. There is no reason for either event to happen and it sure isn't just.
I have to hurry as someone else needs to use this computer but I wanted to tell you that if I do something that irritates you or that you dont understand, its probably because I really do have autism. Another reason why all that is happening on my end is totally cruel. I would never intentionally harm anyone or anything but it is exhausting trekking this planet totally alone and sometimes because of my health, I need a breather and some time away from loud noises and constant mean accusations. I am trying to get a job to be a decent parent and am commuting with no transportation of my own between sometimes three different counties. I am never playing the game John, I can only hope your not either.
Dont be another person that took the very breath from my lips, John. My air is our son.

I must compliment people 500 times a day and its genuine. I try to find something great about most people that i encounter.

You treat me like absolute scum of the earth and you NEVER can manage to say one decent thing about a girl that is totally into peoples successes in life.
Your latest attack has me "jealous" of some girl once again!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not to mention that the people that dress in all Navy blue have now accused me of "taking advantage" of a situation that i surely have NOT taken advantage of!!!!
I haven't eaten or drank all day, I haven't had any joy in my life for what seems like forever, my son has been sick for his entire 20 days on this planet, I have aspergers syndrome (autism) and all you can do with your easier than my life having self is once again say something completely uncalled for and inaccurate. You just run your mouth without provication from me at all and start accusing me of "taking advantage" ...........OF WHAT????????
I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO TONIGHT, I AM NOT PROTECTED, I HAVE NO TRANSPORTATION, NO FRIENDS, NO FAMILY, HARDLY ANY MONEY AND YOU STILL CANT MANAGE TO BE THANKFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE AND TRY AND MUSTER SOMETHING DECENT TO SAY ABOUT ME?
I GOT MONEY THROUGH SONOMA COUNTY FOR LODGING. I QUALIFIED FOR A ONCE IN A LIFETIME BENEFIT THAT AIDS PEOPLE ON WELFARE THAT END UP WITH NO HOUSING. I USED THIS BENEFIT TO BE CLOSE TO MY SON HERE IN SAN FRANCISCO AND FOUND THE CHEAPEST HOTEL I COULD TO MAKE THE MONEY THEY GAVE ME STRETCH AS FAR AS POSSIBLE.
IM TIRED OF YOU LYING ABOUT ME WITHOUT CAUSE, IVE DONE NOTHING TO YOU EVER IN LIFE, AND THERE REALLY IS NO EXCUSE FOR YOUR SNIDE REMARKS AT ALL CONSIDERING I HAVE NO ONE AND NOTHING
YOU'VE GOT EVERYTHING THAT I DONT AND YOU WOULD THINK THAT THAT WOULD BRING YOU ENOUGH HAPPINESS TO KEEP YOUR ILL WILL TO YOURSELF. SOME OF US DONT HAVE ANYTHING. YOUR SELFISH AND IN WAYS THAT I DIDN'T EVEN THINK POSSIBLE.
YOU PROBABLY LIED TO THE WORLD AND TOLD THEM THAT I TOOK MONEY FROM SOME STRANGER THAT OFFERED IT, WHEN I DIDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT YOUR LIES? I GUESS THE ANSWER IS THAT I MIGHT HAVE A DECENT CHANCE AT A LIFE WHERE PEOPLE ACTUALLY HAD RESPECT FOR ME ETCETERA. I MIGHT EVEN HAVE SOME FRIENDS, I MIGHT EVEN BE REUNITED WITH MY SON BY NOW. YOUR PATHETIC.
I HAVE NEVER TRIED TO EVER HURT MY CHILD AND ILL BE DAMNED IF SOMEONE LIKE YOU WILL BE RAISING HIM. I WILL BE RAISING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF YOU HAVE YOUR WAY HE'LL BE HATEFUL AND SPITEFUL IN NO TIME AT ALL. THAT IS NOT HOW I WAS GOING TO RAISE HIM. I WAS GOING TO RAISE HIM TO BE HUMBLE AND THANKFUL FOR WHAT HE HAS, AND TO TOTALLY NOT GIVE PEOPLE LIKE YOU THAT ATTACK, WEAKER AND DEFENSELESS PEOPLE, THE TIME OF DAY. ME AND HIM HAVE BEEN THROUGH HELL, THANKS IN PART TO YOU.
HE IS MY CHILD YOU STILL DONT SEEM TO GET IT THAT WHAT YOU ARE DOING IS TOTALLY ILLEAGAL. YOU DONT JUST DECIDE THAT YOU WANT A LIVE HUMAN BEING AND IGNORE ALL LAWS IN ORDER TO TAKE OWNERSHIP OF HIM. I GAVE BIRTH TO HIM, HE IS MY GENETIC SON!!!!!!!!
BY THE WAY, I LEFT THE GREEN AND WHITE TANK TOP AT THE HOTEL BECAUSE SOMEONE LED ME TO BELIEVE THAT THE COLOR GREEN MEANT THAT SOMEONE INTENDED ON ME WEARING A "VEIL" AND SINCE I DONT BELIEVE IN HAVING TO WEAR A "VEIL" I LEFT IT THERE. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH APRIL. I PROCESSED THAT INFORMATION LITTERALLY. I SHOULDN'T EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS IN THE FIRST PLACE BECAUSE AS SOON AS I GET THIS MISUNDERSTANDING CLEARED UP YOU WILL CREATE 7000 MORE OF THEM FOR ME.

Why wont you understand that I DONT want to "do" an overweight man??????? I have no intrest in the men that you throw at me, they are always the

SAME OVERWEIGHT VERSION OF WHAT YOU REFUSE TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I DONT EVEN WANT A MAN AT ALL AND YOU KEEP TRYING TO MAKE ME "DO" THESE MEN THAT REPULSE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD, I AM NOT ATTRACTED TO THIS OVERWEIGHT CHUBBY PROTOTYPE THAT KEEP INSISTING THAT I DO!!!!!!!!
IM ATTRACTED TO PEOPLE LIKE MATHEW LILLIARD-=- WHY WOULD I WANT TO "DO" SOMETHING THAT IM NOT EVEN ATTRACTED TO. I DONT EXPECT MATTHEW LILLIARD TO "DO" ME SO WHY WOULD YOU EXPECT ME TO "DO" SOMEONE IM NOT EVEN ATTRACTED TO.



AS FAR AS MY CHILD GOES, HE IS 20 DAYS OLD AND I STILL HAVENT GOTTEN TO HOLD MY OWN CHILD. YOU KEEP INSISTING THAT I LEAVE EVERYTHING BEHIND.....MY BELONGINGS (WHICH AT THIS POINT CONSISTS OF 1 BAG AND A PHOTO ALBUM OF MY SON........AND YOU EVEN EXPECT ME TO LEAVE BEHIND MY CHILD!!!!! WHAT IS WITH YOU PEOPLE? YOU DONT ASK MY PERMISSION TO IMPLANT MY KID WITH A SMART CHIP AND SOMEHOW YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD HAVE TO LEAVE HIM BEHIND NOW THAT HE HAS A SMART CHIP IN HIM THAT I DIDN'T GIVE CONSENT TO OR HAVE ANY KNOWLEDGE OF. YOU JUST KEEP PUSHING ME AND THE LAW TO ITS OUTER LIMITS. AS A MATTER OF FACT YOU REFUSE TO EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THE LAW AS FAR AS ME AND MY SON ARE CONCERNED. I HAVEN'T EVEN GOTTEN TO HOLD HIM AND YOU KEEP SAYING THAT THE DOCTOR IS "WITH THE BABY". HE'S AN INFANT, 20 DAYS OLD, AND NOT YOURS TO DECIDE ANYTHING ABOUT. I BIRTHED THAT CHILD AND HE LOVES ME! YOU KEEP SAYING THAT HE IS COUGHING, HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE, HE GAGS AS A RESULT OF THE MASSIVE TUBE DOWN HIS THROUGHT BUT HE DOESN'T COUGH.
WHEN HE MOVES AROUND THE TUBE MOVES IN HIS THROUGHT CAUSING HIM TO GAG. I AM GROWING VERY TIRED OF YOU ALWAYS TRYING TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE HE SOMEHOW DOESN'T WANT ME. YOU LIE, YOU EXAGGERATE, YOU MAKE THINGS UP TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF MY KID IS REJECTING ME. HOW AWEFUL CAN YOU GET? IM A NEW MOM WITH A SICK BABY AND YOU KEEP PLAYING GAMES WITH ME AND MY KID TRYING TO DRIVE A WEDGE IN BETWEEN BOTH OF US!!!!!!!!! IS THIS SOMETHING THAT YOU DO WITH EVERY NEW MOM? TRY TO BELITTLE HER, AND MAKE HER THINK THAT SHE IS REJECTED? YOU ARE REALLY HARD UP TO TAKE AWAY A BABY THAT IS WANTED.
LET ME ASK YOU THIS ....."WHEN A CHILD THROWS A TANTRUM IN THE STORE AND IS KICKING AND SCREAMING, DO YOU SAY THAT THE DOCTOR IS "WITH THE CHILD"? IS THIS A MEANS TO TAKE AWAY THE CHILD FROM ITS MOTHER? THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IN MY CASE AND MY KID DOESN'T EVEN KICK OR SCREAM! MY CHILD IS AN INFANT AND YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO SAUDER A BOND BETWEEN US. I GUESS I SHOULD FEEL FLATTERED THAT MY KID IS SO HIGHLY SOUGHT AFTER BUT I DONT FEEL FLATTERED AT ALL....WHAT YOUR DOING IS ABUSIVE, CRUEL AND UNKIND.
YOU SAY THAT MY BABY IS MINE BASED ON WHETHER OR NOT I TAKE HIS BABY ALBUM FOR CHRIST SAKE! IM NOT LEAVING HIS PICTURES BEHIND WHEN I BARELY GET TO SEE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE. ARE YOU CRAZY? BOTH OF US SHOULD BE PROTECTED AND I SHOULD'T HAVE TO LEAVE MY CHILD BEHIND IN PERSON OR IN PICTURES EVER EXCEPT TO HAVE TO COMMUTE BETWEEN HERE AND THE COUNTY THAT WE ARE FROM TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ME AND MY SON.
I WANT TO BE A MOM DAMMIT, I DONT WANT TO HAVE TO JUMP THROUGH HOOPS RIGHT NOW. THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE HAPPIEST TIME OF MY LIFE AND YOU ARE RUINING EVERYDAY OF IT WITH YOUR CRUEL EXPECTATIONS........YOU NEVER ALLOW ME TO BE A PERSON!!!!!!!! ITS ALWAYS ABOUT PASSING SOME SORT OF TEST ALL THE TIME. FOR 6 YEARS YOU'VE BEEN RUNNING ME THROUGH YOUR OBSTACLE COURSE WITH NO REWARD OF ANY KIND. YOU WONT EVEN ALLOW ME TO HAVE WHAT I WORKED FOR!!!!! YOU TAKE IT UPON YOURSELVES TO JUST IMPLANT A CHIP IN MY KIDS BODY WITHOUT SO MUCH AS EVEN ASKING ME, I ALMOST PASSED OUT TODAY(I STARTED TO TRY AND WALK SOMEWHERE AND EVERYTHING TURNED BLACK AND I LOST MY VISION), MY KIDNEYS ARE STARTING TO FAIL FROM LACK OF LIQUIDS (MY URINE IS BROWN) AND LACK OF FOOD AND NOW YOU WONT PROTECT ME UNLESS I GIVE UP MY CHILD. ITS NEVER ENOUGH SUFFERING FOR YOU TO FINALLY GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND HELP ME AND MY SON LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. YOU JUST REFUSE TO PROTECT ME AFTER ALL I HAVE PUT FORTH FOR THIS COUNTRY. NOW YOU WANT HIM AND NOT ME. YOU MIGHT GET YOUR WISH BECAUSE MY HEART IS FAILING AS WELL AS MY KIDNEYS AND AT THIS RATE I GIVE MYSELF AT THE MOST8 MONTHS BEFORE IM DEAD FROM ONE OR THE OTHER. YOU WOULD THINK THAT YOU COULD AT LEAST PROVIDE 8 MONTHS WORTH OF STRESS FREE HAPPINESS WITH MY SON BEFORE MY BODY GIVES OUT FROM 6 YEARS WORTH OF STRESS AND ABUSE. IVE DONE NOTHING BUT FIGHT FOR THE FREEDOM THIS COUNTRY IS SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE FOR EVERY CITIZEN AND IN THE PROCESS WAS COMPLETELY LIED ABOUT, ABUSED AND DISRESPECTED. YOU CANT EVEN FIND IT IN YOUR SOUL TO ALLIEVIATE THE REMAINING STRESSES BEFORE I DIE. MY SON MAKES MY EYES LIGHT UP AND IS PUSHING ME HARDER.
YOU MIGHT BE AT A CROSSROADS ONE DAY IN LIFE AND THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN YOUR TEST.....................THAT YOU FAILED.

I DONT HAVE SCHITZOPHRENIA AND YOUR NOT TAKING AWAY MY CHILD

IM NOT PLAYING GAMES AND I AM A REGULAR MOM THAT YOU REFUSE TO ALLOW TO BE A NORMAL PERSON WITH AUTISM. I WAS JUST TOLD THAT I "HAD" MY SON AND NOW BECAUSE I GO BACK TO MY HOTEL LIKE A REGULAR PERSON THAT SHAPES ME AND MY SONS FATE SOMEHOW.
YOU ARE SO FREAKEN ABUSIVE. YOU EXPECT FROM ME WHAT YOU WONT EVEN DO YOURSELVES. I'VE BEEN THREATENED LIKE 70 TIMES TODAY FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN A BUNCH OF WEALTHY PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED THAT MY CHILD BELONGS TO THEM. IM TIRED OF IT.........I'VE HAD IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE A SICK CHILD AND YOU ARE CRUEL TO EXPECT ME TO PLAY THESE GAMES! YOU DONT OWN ME BASED ON WHERE I STAY, I DONT HAVE SCHITZOPHRENIA BECAUSE YOU WANT TO TAKE MY CHILD AWAY!
I DONT EVEN EAT OR DRINK ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SICK OF YOUR CONSTANT INTRUSION IN MY LIFE, NONE OF YOU SEEM TO CARE THAT YOUR TEARING UP A MOTHER AND HER CHILD!!!!!! MY KID IS LAYING THERE SICK IN THE HOSPITAL AND YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH KEEPING ME AND HIM APART. HE RESPONDS TO ME AND WHEN I WALKED IN THERE TODAY HE WAS FRANTIC AND PANICKED, THEN WHEN HE HEARD MY VOICE AND I PUT HIS HAND IN MINE, HE RELAXED AND STARTED FOCUSING ON MY VOICE. HE RELAXED IMMEADIATELY!!!!!!!!!!! YOU KEEPING ME AWAY FROM HIM IS HURTING HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE NEEDS MY COMFORT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AN HOUR OF THE DAY IS NOT ADEQUATE TIME TO BOND WITH HIM OR TO COMFORT A BABY THATS GOT TUBES EVERYWHERE. YOU SEEM TO THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST WALK INTO MY LIFE AND TAKE MY BABY!!!!! IM NOT MENTALLY ILL, NOT A CRIMINAL AND YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO JUST DECIDE THAT YOU OWN US BASED ON WHERE I STAY.
WHY WONT YOU LEAVE ME ALONE, WHY WONT YOU JUST LEAVE ME AND MY SON ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IM MORTIFIED BY THE ACTIONS OF HIS FATHER, JOHN BARROS, WHO SEEMS TO HAVE THE LARGEST, BIGGEST HEAD ABOUT HIMSELF THAT I'VE EVER SEEN. I SHOULDN'T TOTALLY GET MAD AT HIM RIGHT AWAY BUT PEOPLE ARE TELLING ME OF HIS QUEST FOR STARDOM AND THE USE OF OUR SON TO GET HIMSELF THERE. I ALSO HEAR THAT HE IS EMBARRASSED BY ME.....MY RESPONSE TO THAT.......YOU WEREN'T EMBARRASSED WHEN WE CREATED THIS CHILD, WERE YOU? I DONT REMEMBER YOU BEING THE SLIGHTEST BIT WORRIED ABOUT HAVING SEX WITH ME. I HAVE TO ALSO SAY THAT AGAIN.....IVE HAD SEX TWICE IN 3 YEARS AND AM AN INCREDIBLY INTELLIGENT, DECENT PERSON SO EMBARRASSMENT SHOULD NEVER BE THE WORD THAT IS USED WHEN SPEAKING OF THE MOTHER OF OUR BEAUTIFUL CHILD!!!!!!!!! YOU SHOULD BE WORKING WITH ME NOT AGAINST ME! OUR KID IS SICK DAMMIT AND YOUR ON SOME SORT OF POWER TRIP!
I WOULD NEVER KEEP YOU FROM HIM AND YOU SHOULD NEVER BE TRYING TO KEEP HIM FROM ME.....YOU WEREN'T EVEN AROUND AND TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST YOU HAVE ME TO THANK FOR YOUR NEW FOUND STARDOM!!!!!! WITHOUT ME HAVING OUR BABY YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO TURN YOURSELF INTO WHAT YOU'VE BECOME AT THIS POINT. I HAVE DEFENDED YOU ALL ALONG AND HAD AN IMMENSE FAITH IN YOU THAT YOU EVENTUALLY WOULD WANT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH OUR SON BUT YOU TOOK IT TO ANOTHER LEVEL AND USED IT TO HURT THE MOTHER OF YOUR SON WHICH CAN ONLY HURT OUR SON! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOUR MATURITY LEVEL BECAUSE YOU ARE ONLY IN YOUR 20'S AND ITS OBVIOUS THAT MY FEARS WEREN'T THAT FAR OFF, YOUR THINKING OF YOURSELF, YOUR NOT THINKING ABOUT WHATS BEST FOR OUR SON! HE NEEDS ME. HE NEEDS YOU. HE NEEDS BOTH OF US IF YOU ARE WILLING TO BE A PART OF HIS LIFE BUT HE IS NO OBJECT JOHN, HE'S A BABY, A REAL LIFE PERSON THAT GETS HIS COMFORT FROM HIS MOTHER!!!!!!! I WOULD NEVER KEEP HIM FROM YOU HOW COULD YOU EVEN THINK OF TRYING TO KEEP HIM FROM ME? THAT IS IMMATURITY. YOU'VE HAD ALL THESE PEOPLE "WORKING" FOR YOU ALL ALONG (ELANA ALLAN WHO STARTED THIS WHOLE THING AND LIED ACCUSING ME OF TRYING TO DISCONNECT OUR KID FROM THE VENTILATOR AND WHO KNOWS WHO ELSE) THEY'VE GOT YOU LOOKING LIKE SOME SORT OF CHAMP AND HAVE DONE THEIR BEST TO TRASH ME......THE WHOLE TIME I WAS ALONE YOU HAD A NETWORK OF PEOPLE THAT OBVIOUSLY ARE WILLING TO PURGUR THEMSELVES IN ORDER TO GET YOU CUSTODY. THEY'VE DONE NOTHING BUT LIE ABOUT ME AND IN SOME VERY SERIOUS WAYS JOHN!!!! YOU ARE RISKING MY SAFETY AND I DONT APPRECIATE YOU BEING TOTALLY SELFISH. YOU'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE ME LOOK BAD FOR NO REASON YET OFFERED NO HELP TO ME WHILE I WAS PREGNANT, YOU HUNG UP ON ME AND CHANGED YOUR PHONE NUMBER WHEN I TRYED TO GET YOUR HELP WITH THE MAN THAT WAS STALKING US. YOU DIDN'T CARE ABOUT OUR SON DURING HIS DEVELOPMENT BUT SUDDENLY YOU WANT TO TRY AND MAKE ME LOOK BAD? HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!
DONT EVER TRY AND SAY "SO" WHEN SPEAKING OF MY SON'S FEELINGS ABOUT THE ONLY PERSON THAT CALMS HIM AND THE ONLY PERSON THAT BUSTED HER ASS TO KEEP HIM ALIVE FOR 37 WEEKS WHILE BEING CHASED BY A STALKER THAT ATTEMPTED TO CONTROL AND KILL BOTH OF US AT LEAST TWICE IN THE 37 WEEKS OVER A 6000 MILE RADIUS. WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU ARE SOMETHING THAT HE NEEDS IN REPLACEMENT OF ME. I WAS THE ONE THAT WANTED HIM FROM THE MOMENT I GOT PREGNANT, I WAS THE ONE THAT WANTED THIS BABY AND HAVE NO DOUBT THAT I WILL BE A GREAT MOM. I WANTED HIM FROM THE BEGINNING.
The following statements directed at a multitude of stalkers and not my son's father John........
IM SICK OF YOUR THREATS!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO REASON TO BE IN MY LIFE AT ALL!!!!!!!!! GET OUT OF OUR LIVES AND LET US BE A NORMAL FAMILY. EVERYONE ELSE ON EARTH GETS TO BE A NORMAL PERSON BUT YOUR CRUEL GAMES AFFECT ME AND MY SONS ENTIRE DAY!!!!!!! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO "TEST" ME ALL THE TIME, MY ONLY OBLIGATION IS MY KID AND I DONT OWE YOU ANYTHING, IM TIRED OF YOUR LIES, YOUR THREATS AND EVERYTHING ELSE.
ARE YOU THREATENED FOR SIMPLE THINGS SUCH AS GOING BACK TO YOUR HOTEL? HAVE YOU SUDDENLY DEVELOPED SCHITZOPHRENIA BECAUSE YOU GOT A RIDE SOMEWHERE? ARE PEOPLE CALLING YOU A SLUT FOR NOT EVEN SLEEPING WITH SOMEONE TO BEGIN WITH? YOU LOSE YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS BASED ON WHAT DIRECTION YOU WALK IN? ARE YOU THREATENED WITH LEATHER STRAPS MERELY FOR BEING SOMEWHERE SOMEONE THINKS THAT YOU SHOULDN'T BE? ARE YOU LIED ABOUT BASED SOME STRANGE OCCURRANCE? ARE YOU PORTRAYED AS A CRIMINAL BASED ON WHAT SECTION OF TOWN YOU ARE IN OR SIMPLY BEING IN A STORE? THE ANSWER IS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NONE OF YOU ENDURE WHAT ME AND MY SON ENDURE EVERYDAY AND TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST IVE NEVER SEEN A BIGGER BUNCH OF SELFISH PEOPLE IN MY LIFE. YOU WANT TO PLAY THE GAME AND ARE EXPECTING ME AND MY SON TO, ALSO, DURING A VERY DIFFICULT TIME. YOU WANT TO PLAY, USING ALL YOUR RESOURCES. IM POOR BECAUSE OF YOU!!!!!! YOU DONT EVER ALLOW ME TO BE A NORMAL PERSON. IM ALWAYS AFRAID TO DO BASICALLY ANYTHING BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT OUTLANDISH LIE YOU WILL COME UP WITH NEXT!!!!!! YOU'VE TURNED CUSTODY OF MY SON INTO A GAME AND THE FUNNY THING IS I DONT PLAY YOUR DUMB GAME BECAUSE I SEEM TO BE THE ONLY PERSON THAT SEEMS TO REALIZE THAT YOU ARE A COMPLETE STRANGER AND I DONT HAVE TO PLAY YOUR GAME, PASS YOUR TESTS, OR MEET YOUR CRITERIA FOR ANYTHING. I DONT KNOW YOU, YOU DONT KNOW ME AND I AM NOT MAKING ANY DEALS WITH YOU. ME AND MY SON ARE TIRED OF YOU THINKING THAT OUR ACTIONS ARE SOMEHOW UP FOR YOUR APPROVAL.
WE DONT WANT TO PLAY YOUR GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CREDIT FOR MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN GIVEN TO PEOPLE THAT NEVER EVEN PUT IN THE WORK, THEY JUST CLAIMED THAT MY ACCOMPLISHMENTS WERE THEIRS....A TOTAL LIE.
IM NOT A SHAME OR A CRIMINAL AND I AM ONE OF THE MOST LOVING PEOPLE I KNOW ON THIS PLANET......TAKE YOUR GAMES AND SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ---.
IM NOT LEAVING AND THE TRUTH WILL EVENTUALLY COME OUT ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO BOTH ME AND MY SON!!!!!!!
WHAT YOU HAVE DONE IS N O T JUST!!!!!!! WE DONT KNOW YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU NEED TO GO HOME AND LEAVE US ALONE AS WE DONT EVER TRY TO INTERFERE WITH YOUR EXISTANCE!!!!!!!!!! I DONT TELL YOU HOW TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR KIDS AND I SURE DONT LIE ABOUT YOU TO TAKE AWAY NOT ONLY YOUR ASSETS BUT YOUR CHILDREN ALSO. HAVE SOME RESPECT!!!!!!!!!!!!
QUIT TRYING TO CONVINCE THE PRESIDENT THAT I AM SOMEHOW AGAINST HIM!!!!! YOUR LIES ARE AFFECTING NOT ONLY ME NOW, YOUR AFFECTING MY SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
BY THE WAY TO THE FBI, SECRET SERVICE, AND THE WALL.........I'VE QUALIFIED MULTIPLE TIMES FOR RELOCATION BUT YOU KEEP HELPING EVERYONE ATTACHED TO ME RATHER THAN ME!!!!!!!!!!!! ME AND MY SON HAVE REPEATEDLY BEEN ASSAULTED THE ENTIRE TIME HE WAS DEVELOPING AND I HAVE BEEN BEGGING FOR HELP FROM YOU AND PRIVATE GROUPS OF PEOPLE FOR AGES NOW.
I'VE GOT PEOPLE THINKING THINGS ABOUT ME THAT ARE TOTALLY UNTRUE AND PEOPLE TELLING ME TO TAKE "MY TIME" FOR SOMETHING THAT NEVER HAPPENED AND BECAUSE I HAVE TO STAY IN THE CITY TO SEE MY SON. IM NOT LEAVING HIM UNTIL I HAVE TO. IM NOT ABANDONING MY KID JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK I SHOULD HAVE TO MAKE SOME SORT OF DEAL.

Explanation of my so called "Record"

I am really tired of being given permission to do anything in life, sick of being treated like a criminal by people that are trying to excuse their own malicious behavior. I am not a criminal and have only agreed to certain charges in the past because I have Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism) with no emotional support and was sitting in jail with gang members and people that I couldn’t relate to (mainly criminals) and instead of fighting false charges I agreed to accept charges if they would just let me out of that mentally abusive environment that they call “jail”.
I am not jail material and find it excruciating to have to now defend things that technically didn’t happen. Charges such as battery on a police officer happened on paper only and are explainable but are permanately haunting me now. The police officer was beating and dragging ME and when I tried to defend myself I was charged with battery.
Had I not been mentally traumatized by the event, maybe the option of sitting in jail for an additional period of a couple more weeks to prove that I didn’t do what they accused me of via a court hearing/trial, would have sounded appealing. This by the way were charges incurred in Santa Ana, CA and have nothing to do with the dirty sheriff from Alabama falsely imprisoning me and allowing me to get beaten by inmates. (This beating was video taped and broadcast over the last couple of years on YouTube and profited from by the inmates that took part) Some of these same inmates have continued to stalk, threaten and badger me over the last few years also. Now I am being threatened with being committed for an illness that I don’t have (these same “dirty” people keep trying to diagnose me with schitzophrenia (in order to gain a committal and be allowed to fully control me) They refuse to leave me alone. I have had aspergers syndrome (a form of Autism) all along and have been fully abused by these people just trying to make me an escort, prostitute, or some sort of person affiliated with their group of people. They have even stalked me to my hometown of Sonoma and San Mateo Counties (I spent equal time in both counties growing up) and have attempted to accuse me falsely of “stalking” some unknown, unidentified woman that has been stalking me. This is where I am from, I have transcripts to prove it and I have every reason and right to be here. I also have lifelong friends in both counties.
The charges on my “record” mainly involve some person that got put out by my mere existence and called in cops to get rid of me. This is how every encounter has always started. Most of the time, to my dismay, I ended up dealing with “dirty” law bending cops that make things up as they go along. And in the Santa Ana case, I was literally dragged a block down the street so that they could arrest me for trespassing at a certain address. I wasn’t there when the “cop” arrived so in order to take me in, he needed me to set foot on private property and when I agreed to uphold the law by not going back to the same location that I was previously told not to return to, he then proceeded to grab me and drag me there, where along the way I was beaten. When I attempted to defend myself because he was hurting me, I was charged with battery in addition to trespassing and who knows what else.
That brings me to the San Rafael charges that were incurred in 2007. As I was walking down the street in San Rafael, a “cop” of a moving police vehicle yelled for someone to “stop” that they were under arrest. He was behind me still driving his vehicle and I didn’t think anything of it because I hadn’t done anything to get arrested so I thought he must have been talking to someone else. Then he yelled “now your resisting arrest” and said to stop again and his vehicle was still in motion. I realized that he was in fact talking to me at this point and was totally baffled and confused as to why someone who hadn’t even verified my identity, let alone had not even stopped his vehicle yet, would be trying to arrest me. I stopped, thinking that it must be a case of mistaken identity and thought clearly that he would let me go once he ran my name and found out that I was “clean”.
He finally stopped his vehicle, got out and was increadibly aggressive from the get go. He reminded me of a wigged out control freak that was looking to hurt someone physically. I was scared as he continued to threaten me verbally and had already put me in handcuffs very violently.
He ran my name and found out that I was in fact “clean”. By this time, once my identity was confirmed another officer had arrived. He arrived in time to hear the dispatcher say that I was totally clean and told the first cop to let me go. The second officer was really mellow and sensible and tried to tell him to release me. The first cop refused immeadiately stating that he was going to teach me a lesson for not stopping when he was yelling at me from his moving vehicle and that he was charging me with “resisting arrest”. I got forcibly put in the car and driven to the sheriffs department in Marin.
Once at the Sherriffs department I was beaten by 3 deputies. My nightmare had begun. This was the first attack of many more over the next 39 days that I endured. I was housed at the Marin location for only a few days and eventually transported to a place in San Jose that was a nightmare. They didn’t even have my name in the system at the San Jose location and if anyone was trying to find me they wouldn’t have any record of me in this facility. I was beaten again and again and assaulted with needles. I was being given injections of a very powerful drug that made me drool and lose motor function in my legs. I was housed in a freezing cell that was about 5feet by 11 feet and with an eight inch steel door with a little tiny sliver sized window in it. I was petrified. There was no reason that I should have ever ended up in this sort of place because I had done nothing wrong and I was scared because threats were being made to other “inmates” about cutting off their hands and performing surgery on them to remove certain body parts. They even went in with riot gear on some of the people there, fully intending on using mace and clubs on these people that were behind thick steel locked doors that couldn’t possibly harm the guards that were harassing them.
I endured this for 39 days. Some of the guards would walk by the small window and tell me what other paid employees wanted me dead. I couldn’t figure out why the hell I was there. Why was that happening to me at all, I had done nothing to these people, nor did I even know them. I was just a girl from Sonoma County minding my own business on the day that they abducted me.
I starved while at this facility for about 15 days and was losing hope for anything normal because what I was going through shouldn’t have happened to a normal person.
When I was finally released from this facility, I could barely walk as I had lost my equilibrium as well as some of the motor function in my thighs. Everytime I tried to walk anywhere I would literally “tip” over and start to fall toward the ground face first. It took an entire month for me to learn how to walk comfortably and to stop random drooling. Psychologically I was traumatized.
I was told that this happened to me because they thought that I was “doing”. They beat, kidnapped, and invaded my body with drugs, threatened to cut off my feet and a number of other things because they though that I was “doing”.
I don’t ever have sex so I am totally confused as to how they arrived at this assumption in the first place but again dirty cops aren’t usually concerned with truth.
I am no lawbreaker, I am not a sex offender, I don’t kill people, I don’t steal and I don’t ever have sex so basically I was attacked for no apparent reason.
Now I’ve got creepy people trying to give me permission to touch my own body. How creepy and how do I get these people out of my life.
They sit next to you, have a conversation and 30 minutes later accuse you of “doing” them during the conversation and proceed to tell you that during this encounter that they were “a kid”, falsely accusing you of somehow being attracted to them sexually (which would mean according to them that you were attracted to a child---are you kidding me?) and penalizing you for exchanging conversation. It is their belief that by giving you an ultimatum during this period that they are ridding the earth of possible sex offenders. The whole thing is absolutely preposterous if you ask me and if you really want to know what I think, I think they should all find themselves therapy for trying to mentally mind f--- you in the first place. They then offer to take over your children and you can have them back when they see fit.
At this given moment, for no apparent reason I have been given so many ultimatums that make no sense to me in the first place that my head feels like spinning. These stalkers are not only trying to get me committed, but are demanding that I give them various increments of “time” until they are satisfied that their cause has been properly addressed.
I’m not falling for it. This is my life, Im no terrorist, nor am I a criminal and if I want to enjoy a portion of it without their demands or presence in it that’s alright by me. I don’t do drugs or smoke cigarettes and for the most part don’t even drink except on occasion, but I’ll be damned if Im going to continue to allow a bunch of strangers to constantly push me around just because they have control issues. These stalking people pop up everywhere, wherever I go and its always another ultimatum or “deal” they are trying to make with me. I don’t even know these strangers why on earth would they think that I was making some sort of “deal” with them. I don’t even know them! They are so involved in their own war that they just assume they are taking me prisoner. They assume they have some sort of right to be in my county, they aren’t even from here and I wish they would go the bleep home. Apparently the people where they are from don’t tolerate being “controlled” so they had to venture out and find some innocent person to bully. They actually think that they are going to be included in the rest of my life. Im not dumb, I can see that there is no benefit to any of this and that they just do this to anyone that doesn’t see what they really are up to. The whole thing is totally bizarre. They say things like “take your time” constantly and I look at them and shake my head thinking “you really think Im falling for this made up version of reality, don’t you?”
They now have even tried to use my son in their wars and drama, using his health and well being as a threat to me if I don’t give in to their demands. Im disgusted with how these kind of people are allowed air on this planet. Im so tired of someone deciding they want something and bullying someone till they get it. I write something and they “decide” that they should be able to profit from it…..I have a baby and they “decide” that they should be the ones to raise him. Why are you in my life in the first place and why are you “deciding” anything at all about your lazy ass intentions of making a quick buck off me and my life. There is only one place for these individuals and it seems like they are far from home, if you know what I mean.
Not only all this but these people follow you around and wait for opportunities to hurt you and your life and loved ones when they feel as if you have been, in their words, "okay". When they dont get their way, they physically attack you, lie about you to the community and sabotage you. In their creepy group of people they get together and decide who and what is "just" to happen to you for you having your own personality. This is their favorite thing to punish you for....your own personality. Then they think that you should have to spend your day jumping through hoops that they set forth. I have things I have to accomplish, Im not playing your game. I was never playing your dumb ass control hungry games.
Oh yeah and the other thing they think that when you blog on a website that they own you when you log on....these people think that everything is up for grabs. Nothing to them is ever not worth competing over. Some of these people have competed over words, yes small words like "the" "yes" trying to establish ownership of the word itself. Words that have been in the dictionary for hundreds of years are now being fought over by these people. All of it is totally out of control. I wont be raising my son around any of these people.
Now Im being told that the federal benefit I qualify for means that if I use it (what its there for) that I then belong to a certain group. ITS A FEDERAL PROGRAM ALLOWED TO EVERYONE, YOU DONT OWN ME, MY LIFE, OR EXISTANCE BASED ON SOMETHING EVERY AMERICAN IS ENTITLED TO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM NOT AGREEING TO PROSTITUTE MYSELF BY ACCEPTING A FEDERAL CHECK. I AM NOT AGREEING TO A "DEAL" BY ACCESSING FEDERAL AID. I AM NOT A CRIMINAL AND I DONT HAVE TO MAKE SUCH DEALS TO BEGIN WITH. I AM REALLY TIRED OF YOU THINKING THAT EVERYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE IS UP FOR NEGOTIATION. AGAIN, I AM NOT PLAYING YOUR GAME. I AM NOT A HUSTLER, I TELL THE TRUTH AND HAVE BEEN COMPLETELY HONEST WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ABOUT GETTING AIDE. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO PAINT A PICTURE OF ME THAT IS TOTALLY INACCURATE. LOTS OF RESPECTABLE PEOPLE GET ASSISTANCE AT LEAST ONCE IN THEIR LIVES AND I AM NOT ASHAMED OF QUALIFYING FOR A PROGRAM THAT IS OFFERED. I'VE ONLY RECEIVED AIDE FOR A SHORT TIME AND INTEND ON GETTING A JOB WHEN MY SON'S HEALTH STABILIZES, HOW DARE YOU TRY AND MAKE ME LOOK LIKE SOME TWO BIT CRIMINAL HUSTLER FOR BEING HONEST AND NEEDING SOME ASSISTANCE. I PAID INTO THIS PROGRAM SINCE I WAS 16 YEARS OLD (I'VE ALWAYS WORKED). AND NO, I HAVEN'T HAD SEX SINCE I GOT PREGNANT 39 WEEKS AGO. NICE TRY THOUGH.

Me and Aspergers Syndrome (this articles copyrite info is at the bottom)

"Asperger's Syndrome Characteristics"
Social Characteristics
• Difficulty in accepting criticism or correction
• Difficulty in offering correction or criticism without appearing harsh, pedantic or insensitive
• Difficulty in perceiving and applying unwritten social rules or protocols
• "Immature" manners
• Naïve trust in others
• Shyness
• Low or no conversational participation in group meetings or conferences
• Constant anxiety about performance and acceptance, despite recognition and commendation
• Scrupulous honesty, often expressed in an apparently disarming or inappropriate manner or setting
• Bluntness in emotional expression
• "Flat affect"
• Discomfort manipulating or "playing games" with others
• Unmodulated reaction in being manipulated, patronized, or "handled" by others
• Low to medium level of paranoia
• Low to no apparent sense of humor; bizarre sense of humor (often stemming from a "private" internal thread of humor being inserted in public conversation without preparation or warming others up to the reason for the "punchline")
• Difficulty with reciprocal displays of pleasantries and greetings
• Problems expressing empathy or comfort to/with others: sadness, condolence, congratulations, etc.
• Pouting,, ruminating, fixating on bad experiences with people or events for an inordinate length of time
• Difficulty with adopting a social mask to obscure real feelings, moods, reactions
• Using social masks inappropriately (you are "xv" while everyone else is ????)
• Abrupt and strong expression of likes and dislikes
• Rigid adherence to rules and social conventions where flexibility is desirable
• Apparent absence of relaxation, recreational, or "time out" activities
• "Serious" all the time
• Known for single-mindedness
• Flash temper
• Tantrums
• Excessive talk
• Difficulty in forming friendships and intimate relationships; difficulty in distinguishing between acquaintance and friendship
• Social isolation and intense concern for privacy
• Limited clothing preference; discomfort with formal attire or uniforms
• Preference for bland or bare environments in living arrangements
• Difficulty judging others’ personal space
• Limited by intensely pursued interests
• Often perceived as "being in their own world"

Physical Manifestations
• Strong sensory sensitivities: touch and tactile sensations, sounds, lighting and colors, odors, taste
• Clumsiness
• Balance difficulties
• Difficulty in judging distances, height, depth
• Difficulty in recognizing others’ faces (prosopagnosia)
• Stims (self-stimulatory behavior serving to reduce anxiety, stress, or to express pleasure)
• Self-injurious or disfiguring behaviors
• Nail-biting
• Unusual gait, stance, posture
• Gross or fine motor coordination problems
• Low apparent sexual interest
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Sleep difficulties
• Verbosity
• Difficulty expressing anger (excessive or "bottled up")
• Flat or monotone vocal expression; limited range of inflection
• Difficulty with initiating or maintaining eye contact
• Elevated voice volume during periods of stress and frustration
• Strong food preferences and aversions
• Unusual and rigidly adhered to eating behaviors
• Bad or unusual personal hygiene
Cognitive Characteristics
• Susceptibility to distraction
• Difficulty in expressing emotions
• Resistance to or failure to respond to talk therapy
• Mental shutdown response to conflicting demands and multi-tasking
• Generalized confusion during periods of stress
• Low understanding of the reciprocal rules of conversation: interrupting, dominating, minimum participation, difficult in shifting topics, problem with initiating or terminating conversation, subject perseveration
• Insensitivity to the non-verbal cues of others (stance, posture, facial expressions)
• Perseveration best characterized by the term "bulldog tenacity"
• Literal interpretation of instructions (failure to read between the lines)
• Interpreting words and phrases literally (problem with colloquialisms, cliches, neologism, turns of phrase, common humorous expressions)
• Preference for visually oriented instruction and training
• Dependence on step-by-step learning procedures (disorientation occurs when a step is assumed, deleted, or otherwise overlooked in instruction)
• Difficulty in generalizing
• Preference for repetitive, often simple routines
• Difficulty in understanding rules for games of social entertainment
• Missing or misconstruing others’ agendas, priorities, preferences
• Impulsiveness
• Compelling need to finish one task completely before starting another
• Rigid adherence to rules and routines
• Difficulty in interpreting meaning to others’ activities; difficulty in drawing relationships between an activity or event and ideas
• Exquisite attention to detail, principally visual, or details which can be visualized ("Thinking in Pictures") or cognitive details (often those learned by rote)
• Concrete thinking
• Distractibility due to focus on external or internal sensations, thoughts, and/or sensory input (appearing to be in a world of one’s own or day-dreaming)
• Difficulty in assessing relative importance of details (an aspect o the trees/forest problem)
• Poor judgment of when a task is finished (often attributable to perfectionism or an apparent unwillingness to follow differential standards for quality)
• Difficulty in imagining others’ thoughts in a similar or identical event or circumstance that are different from one’s own ("Theory of Mind" issues)
• Difficulty with organizing and sequencing (planning and execution; successful performance of tasks in a logical, functional order)
• Difficulty in assessing cause and effect relationships (behaviors and consequences)
• An apparent lack of "common sense"
• Relaxation techniques and developing recreational "release" interest may require formal instruction
• Rage, tantrum, shutdown, self-isolating reactions appearing "out of nowhere"
• Substantial hidden self-anger, anger towards others, and resentment
• Difficulty in estimating time to complete tasks
• Difficulty in learning self-monitoring techniques
• Disinclination to produce expected results in an orthodox manner
• Psychometric testing shows great deviance between verbal and performance results
• Extreme reaction to changes in routine, surroundings, people
• Stilted, pedantic conversational style ("The Professor")
Work Characteristics
Many of the manifestations found in the categories above can immediately translate into work behaviors or preferences. Here are some additional ones:
• Difficulty with "teamwork"
• Deliberate withholding of peak performance due to belief that one’s best efforts may remain unrecognized, unrewarded, or appropriated by others
• Intense pride in expertise or performance, often perceived by others as "flouting behavior"
• Sarcasm, negativism, criticism
• Difficulty in accepting compliments, often responding with quizzical or self-deprecatory language
• Tendency to "lose it" during sensory overload, multitask demands, or when contradictory and confusing priorities have been set
• Difficult in starting project
• Discomfort with competition, out of scale reactions to losing
• Low motivation to perform tasks of no immediate personal interest
• Oversight or forgetting of tasks without formal reminders such as lists or schedules
• Great concern about order and appearance of personal work area
• Slow performance
• Perfectionism
• Difficult with unstructured time
• Reluctance to ask for help or seek comfort
• Excessive questions
• Low sensitivity to risks in the environment to self and/or others
• Difficulty with writing and reports
• Reliance on internal speech process to "talk" oneself through a task or procedure
• Stress, frustration and anger reaction to interruptions
• Difficulty in negotiating either in conflict situations or as a self-advocate
• Very low level of assertiveness
• Reluctance to accept positions of authority or supervision
• Strong desire to coach or mentor newcomers
• Difficulty in handling relationships with authority figures
• Often viewed as vulnerable or less able to resist harassment and badgering by others
• Punctual and conscientious
• Avoids socializing, "hanging out," or small talk on and off the job
• Copyright Issues
•
• This article is copyright, all rights reserved by the author, Roger N. Meyer. It may be reproduced in single copy once for personal use, and in no more than ten copies total for educational purposes. Fair Use is authorized for all purposes and under conditions established by US Statute and the International Copyright Convention, to which the United States is a signatory nation. No person shall publish, distribute, copy, or by other means make this material available to others for purposes of personal gain or professional self-aggrandizement. Individuals wishing permission to exercise other than fair use or limited distribution as outlined above must contact the author, in writing, and receive explicit written permission from the author prior to engaging in further use of this material.

Im totally frustrated, I have no idea who my friends are at this point.

Fax sent to KGO Channel 7, courtesy of anonymous stranger

I am an anonymous person trying to make you aware of something that is happening to an innocent woman and her son. There is an infant in the UCSF childrens hospital that has been in the UCSF care for the duration of his 12 day life. He was born with a diaphragmatic hernia (his intestines were in the wrong place). He has undergone surgery and is currently on a ventilator to aid him in breathing.
There are certain members of staff that have antagonized his mother (an innocent woman) with inappropriate threats and verbage. They are treating her as if she is a prostitute and using her son and her visitation to speak to her in "pimp" terms. This woman is no hooker and I believe her when she says that she has only had sex twice in 3 years and that her son is the offspring of the second exposure. The doctors and nurses upon hearing the name of the man she named as the father went behind her back and contacted this man to ask if he remembers her. I myself have heard her say that they had a one night stand and considering it has been almost 10 months since they have seen each other and he wasn't shown a picture of this woman, he said that he didn't remember. I have heard the woman say that she has been stalked by an overweight man for the last 12 months that keeps claiming that he is the father. She says he isn't and she only slept with him because he threatened her in Canada and has not stopped stalking her ever since. It is this mans intention to continuously threaten and badger this woman into prostitution and make her look like she is mentally ill. I beleive that the man the hospital staff contacted is the father because the woman said the overweight man happened almost 12 months ago, nullifying any claim to the baby.
The problem that I have seen is that the hospital staff has antagonized this poor woman calling her a "groupie" and dulling out prostitution terms everytime she tries to see her child. They are litterally trying to make her look like she is mentally ill and seem to have some sort of monetary agreement with the overweight man that wont leave her alone to try and "steal" her child from her. He seem s to have an unhealthy interest in trying to make it appear as if the baby is his. The nurses and doctors have violated all patient confidentiality laws in order to aid this man in making this woman and her infants life miserable. I even over heard the woman being threatened with her sons care if she didn't do as they said.
The woman has repeatedly said that she has been evading dirty cops and a dirty sherriffs deputy that allowed her to be beaten and video taped in another state. The video tape was shown on You-Tube and profited from and she says that they have been stalking her ever since. She is repeatedly threatened with "taking her time" for a crime she didn't commit in order for the dirty sherriff to try and remove responsibility from himself for what he allowed to happen to her because he knows that he is facing charges and a lawsuit. This woman is being railroaded by dirty cops and the hospital staff is participating. It seems like someone with a lot of money is financing the effort.
Now the hospital has falsely accused her of trying to disconnect her infant from the ventilator and CPS has taken her infant from her care (she hasn't even gotten to hold the child since his birth let alone be a bad parent and I know that she didn't disconnect him from the ventilator) and placed the infant in hospital care and the care of Sonoma County Social workers. The infant is still sick and has a couple more weeks to go in the hospital before he is better so he technically isn't physically being removed.
Meanwhile the woman (the infants mother) is in tears. I've even heard her being falsely accused of stalking some other woman when she attempts to visit her child. The public is being told one thing when an entirely different thing is happening. The public is being lied to about this woman whos only crime is loving her infant son and trying to get him care. She has no knowledge of the woman that she is accused of stalking and has every right to be in San Francisco as that is where her son is. I've even heard that some other woman is visiting with the infant while his real mother is being kept away and is possibly pumping her own breast milk for the infant. Every law on earth as far as hospital conduct goes has been broken and I fear that if someone doesn't intervine that the infant will essentially end up kidnapped and given to the wrong person and that the mother will end up in jail for something that she didn't do. I am truly mortified at how this has happened.
I have read the mothers plea for help on the website www.wavelengthsandprocesses.blogger.com and truly am concerned that she is the victim of stalking, sabotage, and what looks like an attempt to charge her for a crime she didn't commit, and an attempt at trying to place the infant with the man that has refused to leave her alone and has stalked her for the last 12 months.

Update

The hospital staff supposedly has tried to get ahold of the man that I say is the father and they have asked the father if he remembers the one night stand that he had with me and apparently he doesn't (it was almost 10 months ago but if he saw me he would remember) Now apparently "the plan" is to continue to involve the beastly piece of shit that has continued to stalk me from canada for the last 11 1/2 months and claim that he is the father. This way they can continue to call me a groupie when Im not, and establish some sort of claim over my child. An illeagal claim, a false claim and no wonder I keep getting threatened, people actually think this man is the father. This man has nothing what so ever to do with me or the child and in fact is looking for a girl to control.
Over my dead body is this going to continue. I am being mercilessly stalked by these people and they are apparently trying to get me committed so that I will shut up. They are trying to get away with stealing a live infant. Im being threatened over and with my own child and what is happening is totally illeagal. I am not taking time, I have done nothing wrong and these people are the friends and relatives of the people that beat me up in the jail cell and wont stop stalking me. They are lying about everything. Everything.

It never ends

Everyone is still fighting for status and money and seem to be totally devoid of morals. All this as I am dealing with a sick infant, sobbing uncontrollably for his hardship and missing him. These people still attacking me and trying to fight for control over my son as he lays there pulling at his tubing trying to cry but his vocal cords are hindered by the tubes down his throught and in the process breaking my heart.
But to you I am a moron. You use both of our existances as part of your game. I am being called a "user" and a shame ironically as both me and my son are used in a global competition. I dont appreciate it, as his pain is real and that of his mothers is real also.
Not to mention someone just tried to claim the rights of my writing supposedly signing a "record deal" and once again cashing in on my very existance. Everyone seems to get paid for something that has to do with me. Im a walking Truman Show and people always trying to make it sound like I am the bad guy as they skip off to the bank to cash the check that my writing provided them. Oh and how is it you plan to pass me off as a "medium" for some fake willing to lie and take credit for my writing and who is much younger than me.
I rented a vehicle and am in the bay area to try and find the father of my child because he is sick and I wanted him to see our son. In the process found out that my aunt Paula has been picking my sons father up and taking him places for quite some time now behind my back, even while I was begging for her and the rest of my families help, was pregnant and alone. Im not mad at my sons father, he doesn't know me well enough to know what to believe about me.
But thats alright, I have been offered the increadible opportunity of being a hooker courtesy of my family. Im so tired of loving people that are trying to make a buck off me.
To the people that continuously say "YA", and "Yep" to me in every establishment, on the street and pretty much everywhere I try to go....has it ever occured to you to try and put yourselves in my shoes? Has it ever occurred to you that I hear "YA" and "Yep" all day long and if you decide to show some class and keep quiet once in awhile, I'll still hear it from someone else within an hour. It never ends. And to think I never go out of my way to cause you discomfort.
To the people that are obsessed with destroying peoples lives because you say that they are being "okay".....why is it that you think that you have the right to hurt or punish someone for having their own personality? Sounds to me like you have control issues, you dont ever have the right to hurt someone or sabotage them just becuase you dont get your way.
I got called "okay" today for being totally ill and trying to get better before it gets any worse. I feel like someone has a voodoo doll of me as my whole body hurts, my head feels like its going to explode and Im trying to down as much vitamin C and immune defense as possible so that I can go see my son. But I have been called okay by the overzealous control hungry group of people once again without any regard for my actual situation. God only knows what they did to sabotage me today.
To Oma, I am not a shame, I am autistic and although it has created many misunderstandings it is nothing to be ashamed of. Aspergers syndrome has been a gift and I appologize for any misunderstandings but for a girl that has been through as much mud slinging as I have and has still been able to remain a decent person, I dont drink or smoke or do drugs, I feel proud of the person that I am and proud of my son. Im also proud of the fact that I created such a great income stream out of nothing, with just a pen and paper, so much income that I have almost been killed for someone else to try and take credit and from what I hear has been successful in collecting money they had absolutely nothing to do with, off of MY writing. What a leech to take income from a girl that had nothing, just because you dont want to do your own work in life. Dont worry It will be turned around on me as usual, some jerk will make it look like I am some how the bad guy. I made millions and got nothing, and now they want my kid. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Hollywood is everything to these people, they have almost killed me trying to get in and the whole time all I wanted was to be a mom and love my son and now Hollywood thinks that they are taking my son away....over my dead body.
Im still being threatened with jail and institutionalization for no other reason than they want control over me.
I still have this overweight man stalking me and everyone keeps asking me if I want to "do" him, what I really want is for him to get the hell out of my life.
I have been mercilessly stalked over the last 6 years while I had no resources and these spoiled ass people have the nerve to accuse me of stalking some girl that I have no knowledge of (meaning I dont know who) not to mention I dont and have never had the resources to stalk anyone as I never recieved help from my friends or family so how the f--- could I stalk someone with no vehicle and no credit cards...she stalked me AND had the resources to do so.
A dirty sherriffs deputy keeps stalking me demanding jail time from me. He's from Mobile Alabama and allowed me to get beat in his jail by the inmates who taped it and showed it on you tube over the last two years. He's trying to clear himself of the responsibility of what he condoned and allowed. Also the inmates of that jail cell are also following me around and have been stalking me trying to get me committed on various occasions. Basically, everyone just thinks they can do whatever they want to me and they all think that they have some right to include themselves in my life.
Get out of my life. How's that. Every low life that doesn't want to do their own work and is looking at me like Im some sort of dollar sign, just get the f--- out. Im sick of dirty no moral having people involving themselves in my life looking for a naieve meal ticket. I dont want you in my life.....get out. People trying to make me go to jail all the time so that they can try and beat me for profit. All the people waiting for me to write something else profound so that they can steal it and copyrite infringe upon it, and plagerize some more...write your own stuff.
Im getting back my life, my son, and every cent that you have ever taken from me illeagally. Every copyright infringement costs $500-$20,000. Everytime you play the song that was derrived from my poem. That doesn't include the money that you have already made off the content. Im not money hungry but Ill tell you what, Im getting really sick of you pushing me around because you have the money and resources to do so. You wont let me have my own money because you know that you wont be able to control me anymore. You wont let me have anything. You just continue to use me and then when Im broke and worn out and someone helps, you call me the user. Im tired of making you rich and famous. Im tired of you getting portions of my life just because you decided you wanted a piece of my life. Im tired of it being perfectly clear who the author is (almost all my writing is time and day stamped on the internet and you still have the audacity to claim that you wrote it or that I am somehow your medium) Try again, theif.
By the way I am not going to jail for something that I didn't do. It is the stalkers that have created all this drama, I am constantly being threatened with jail or institutionalization from complete strangers. Everyone thinks that my life is just some sort of free for all. I dont know you, you dont know me, get out of my life.
I was the one who lived like Jason F-ing Bourne for the last 6 years and they had the nerve to accuse me of trying to hurt another Bourne. It never ends, constant accusations. When will you allow me to actually live and enjoy my existance with my child? Your tests and your games consume the majority of my existance but you have no regard for the fact that I have had no quality of life for what seems like forever because its not you jumping through hoops. When your ill your allowed to be, when your happy your allowed to be, when your sad your allowed to be, when your successful your allowed to be, when your wronged your allowed to be vindicated, when someone hurts you your allowed normal emotion, when your hungry your allowed to eat, when your thirsty your allowed to drink, when you have a baby your allowed to raise it, when you love something your allowed to hold on to it, when you need assistance your allowed to recieve help, when you create a way to make an income you are allowed to collect it, YOU HAVE BEEN ALLOWED ALL THESE RIGHTS THAT I HAVE BEEN REFUSED FOR THE LAST SIX YEARS AND YOU STILL FIND THE NEED TO DRIVE YOUR KNIVES EVEN DEEPER INTO MY HEART.
IM NOT A CIRCUS ANIMAL AND I WOULD LIKE TO LIVE MY LIFE NOW WITHOUT YOUR TESTS, YOUR GAMES AND TO BE QUITE HONEST, WITHOUT YOU IN MY LIFE. FIND ANOTHER SCAPEGOAT BECAUSE I HAVE GROWN TIRED OF PAYING FOR MISTAKES THAT I NEVER MADE.

I refuse to "DO" the people that they want me to "DO". Its always some overweight prototype that they throw my way and accuse me of being "wet" over. Im disgusted to say the least and I can assure you that I am attracted to all sorts of men and that you keep throwing men at me that look my uncle. No thanks. Dont worry I dont get "wet" over someone that looks like someone that has left me for dead on many occasions and has used me mercilessly. Im much more attracted to someone that looks like Matthew Lilliard. But you dont care you just are hell bent on making me be with someone that resembles my uncle and my worst nightmare, someone that will kill me before he would love me. Thanks for nothing.

I rented a vehicle to drive it and just got threatened with straps at the store by a complete stranger, for trying to buy orange juice (which I dont even like) to try and get rid of this cold. Im sick of being threatened. Im trying to get some things accomplished by having this vehicle as I am usually rendered without transportation. I am staying in my vehicle not because I want 2 (whatever that means, I still dont understand) and I dont want someones man because I am driving a vehicle (how rediculous). Just based on the fact that I just got threatened when I emerged from the vehicle, Im now using this vehicle as a place of refuge away from everyones constant intrusion in my life, if I dont hear another threat or another "YA" or "Yep" for the next three days, fine by me.
I just want a normal day for once. Im judged and played with 24 hours a day and I can assure you that I am not guilty or innocent and it isn't just or unjust, ever based on where I end up geographically, if I go to the store it just means that I need something and the store I choose is based on location not the company, what is closest at the time.
Also I am not on someones side based on where I drive or what establishment I go into. And the only person's side I am on at this point is my son's and my father's.
Dad you have truly been my hero over the last 12 days and I am totally thankful to you for the guidance you have given. You have always been larger than life in my eyes and I love you with all of my heart. Your grandson thanks you too. I will always love my mother even though I know that you two dont get along but you are both my parents and neither one of you can tell me not to love the other.
Tell your wife dad that I appreciate her tolerance of my sudden emergence into your lives and that I dont take it for granted.

You people just refuse to allow me a normal life while you continue to live yours. How would you like to be me for a day? I dont think you would last a week without wanting to throttle someone. Ive been taking hits for 6 years and still have the majority of my composure. You try being threatened constantly for normal behaviors and having certain unwanted people in your life, that you dont even agree with trying to run your life and tell you what you can and cant have in life monitoring your non-existant sex life calling you C A R. Telling you whether or not you can masturbate....no Im serious, actually giving you "permission" to touch your own body. You wouldn;t last a week without wanting to knock someone out.

By the way Bryce, I appologize if me being constantly attacked brings you down. There isn't a lot of room for smiles and giggles when people have made it painful to breathe. I could be a lot more free spirited if I didn't have 500 threats a day aimed at me or if I wasn't constantly humiliated or if random videos of sexual encounters weren't surfacing all the time or if I wasn't being blackmailed with my own child. You've always had it pretty good so what would you know of living at poverty level while people steal your income and claim your accomplishments as their own then turn around and threaten you for breathing. I hate to bring you down and all but would it hurt you to put yourself in the shoes of an innocent girl that is autistic and always misunderstood because of it, in the first place. You dont have to do anything like that ever, but would it kill you to not be as selfish as to publically say some aweful thing like I bring you down? Way to think of yourself. Dont you think that I would rather laugh than cry? You could help, dont have to, but you could, rather than to add to the humiliation. Im a person with no one Bryce, I've been lied about and seriously abused by complete strangers and if life long friends dont help, who will? I hope your life is great I wish nothing but great things for you but again, I have no one and people push me around mercilessly. We have two different lives and the only way mine will get better is if someone finds it in their heart to care and wants to put an end to the abuse that I endure everyday. These people play with me like a puppet, Bryce. If I were you, I'd be totally angry if the situation was reversed and I was watching you all miserable and upset. I wouldn't care what the hell was going on I would do my best to offer you help and stick up for you. I know that I have embarassed you in the past and for that I appologize but I am not the same girl I was then, I've learned a lot since the famous "san Mateo humiliation" 6 years ago. I am a totally different being from all the cruelty and yes, I know what your part was in all of that. Im a lot wiser now...its harder for people to try and humiliate me now, back then I was an open target, now I am wiser---that alone you should have respect for, as a matter of fact you technically should have a lot of respect for a girl that just wouldn't die over the last 6 years because I sure had a number of people try and kill me, beat me up for profit, not to mention countless other things. Bryce, you were someone that I looked up to back then, like my dad, I thought you walked on water. Not to many people get that in life. Not to many people are held, ever, in such high esteem. In my eyes there was nothing you could do wrong. You were a mentor to me. Now I realize that you are just a person. Your just a person like me. I still want great things for you but I no longer think that you have the power to save me. I will tell you that any sacrifices you have made for me I appreciate. If you haven't drank, or eaten I dont know but thank you for any sacrifices you have made. I will always care about you, I wanted you to be my friend. But I realize that you have your own life and unlike 6 years ago am no longer desparate to try and make people that dont want to be a part of my life a part of my life. Im numb to rejection because there has been so much of it, so it doesn't hurt anymore if you say that you want nothing to do with me. No matter what, even after the bad stuff I found out about you, I still want great things for you....that's what knowing you your whole life is for, forgiving and giving you room to grow, and to be honest, if your still thinking of how your life has been affected by me when you've never had the misfortune of being homeless and alone then you still have some growing to do. We all have room to grow, we all have room to change....most of us at least... I haven't been given "permission" yet by the overzealous creepoids that think they run my life and people aren't done "using" me yet. (not directed at you Bryce)

I LOVE YOU BUDDHA, YOU ARE MY HEART AND SOUL PRECIOUS BABY AND THOSE PEOPLE ARE NOT YOUR FAMILY, I AM AND YOUR FATHER IS, MOST OF THEM ARE STRANGERS LOVE, JUST LOOKING TO MAKE A BUCK OFF US.