I am not pregnant.......Id appreciate you not passing on additional rumors that affect my ability to have a relationship with a man as I am not a lesbien (no offense to lesbiens) but I do feel slightly harassed and forced into being a lesbien when I am the furthest thing from........(just so that you can continue passing me off as one when im not)..........also me being pregnant would never be a good thing as too many people have already terrorized and put me through hell, i refuse to allow another one of my children to go through what they've put me through, you obviously know nothing about me if you didn't know that i would consider my child above everything and anything, including my own wants and needs, not about to bring one into a world of pain ............and why do you keep calling me jealous of my own life.

Apparently, no one read my last entry

Something you should read

I am not here to make your life continuously easier while mine becomes increasingly unbearable......I did that for the last ten years.......If I ever loved you I most likely still do so dont worry but now you may have to start picking up the slack as I spend the majority of my time surrounded by people that loathe me and its definitely starting to wear on my nerves that everywhere I go I am openly degraded, put down, humiliated, threatened, and lied to and about.......Im pretty much out of tolerance for this kind of lifestyle as I am one of the most loving people on the planet and am totally, as usual, being completely and totally run over verbally and emotionally everyday and all day....... Do not continue to use the numbers I choose as my pin numbers or the passwords for my accounts as an invitation to invoke yourselves into my life, you've taken things way to far on this front...........I have no room to breathe the majority of the day and I dont need you getting all self ritcheous when it comes to things that have nothing to do with you or any portion of your life, it just adds to my stress levels to have you creating additional fictional things to accuse me of based on a pin number or a password.........I spend the majority of my day miserable since no one seems to have anything better to do than to try and get even with someone that never did anything to them ever on purpose and didn't have any knowledge of anything bad happening to them......I AM NOT HERE TO PASS YOUR TESTS.........TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE WASTED ON EVERY GROUP OF PEOPLE IMAGINABLE TRYING TO DECIDE WHERE THEY THINK MY LOYALTIES LIE..........I REALIZE THAT IT HASN'T OCCURRED TO YOU SO I TRY TO GO ALONG WITH IT AS BEST I CAN BUT YOU DONT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT I AM A PERSON THAT MIGHT HAVE HAD MY OWN DREAMS AND GOALS AND THAT ALL THESE DIFFERENT FACTIONS HAVE ROBBED ME OF TEN YEARS OF MY LIFE (I MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN IN PRISON AS I WASN'T EVER ALLOWED TO PROGRESS BEYOND A CERTAIN POINT AND WAS NEVER ALLOWED TO HAVE EVEN ONE RELATIONSHIP WITH ANOTHER BEING ON EARTH FOR THE LAST TEN YEARS)...........................I HAVE NEVER ATTEMPTED TO HURT ANOTHER BEING ON PURPOSE EVER SO I'D LIKE TO REITERATE ANOTHER TIME THAT TYPING IN ALL CAPITOL LETTERS IS IN NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM AND ADMITTANCE OF GUILT.......................................I wish i knew how to get you to understand that of course i loved all of you but to watch my life being used in some of the manner that it has and is being used is slowly making me disgusted...............Im being used as a means to hook up individuals together (i do all the work and then they throw another girl in front of the guy that ends up helplessly in love with me at the end and suddenly I've created this "romance" saga that had nothing to do with anyone other than me. I am not referring to me being a "hooker" when I say that I am being used to hook people up.......(nothing against them as I have no problem with how anyone chooses live specific portions of their life) Having men use me to get their girlfriends and wives in with specific entities without so much as at least treating me with respect is to say the least, not why i am here on this planet......Im living at poverty level and I am being used to create global sensations etc without so much as a dime of compensation as I scrape by now homeless again thanks to the fact that on February 20th, 2012 I was done being used once again and thrown out onto the street for creating yet another person that took credit for every portion of my personality and used it to propel themselves forward (I was officially evicted from my apartment on February 22 at 9:45 am at the address of 10925 Southern Highlands Parkway Apt #2065 Las Vegas, Nv 89141............I wasn't wanted or lets just say "needed" any further and then tossed out onto the street with nothing but what I could carry... being homeless once again and of course with no monetary compensation for the newest "it" person that everyone is now so proud of (which is technically me) for the entire duration of time that I was there (I rented the apartment on January 4th, 2013) And this has been the pattern of what I have been so selfishly used for over the last decade and never once has someone taken the high road when offered all my hard work and efforts over a specific time period, not one person has refused to rip me off of my own existance and apply it to their own without more than the effort it took for them swindle it from me....................................................(by the way, I never had any furniture in my apartment, not even one piece and I was so happy to finally have a place where I could get away from every leach on earth and never once did it bother me (this is the difference between someone that has actually been through hell and someone that says they have)..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Ive grown tired, weary and out of tolerance for the entire thing......that's where Im at lately...........and your so focused on whether or not Im a hooker......here's how I feel about it.........I was damn near celibate for an entire decade and still during that entire time i was being put down and accused of hooking........I start concentrating on some way to have SOME FORM OF PLEASURE AND CONTROL IN MY OWN LIFE SINCE THERE HASN'T BEEN ANY AT ALL and you are still accusing me of being a hooker............Seems to me that no matter what the actual truth is all you'll ever concentrate on is something fictional or distorted or not even close to the actual version of events so why the hell should it matter anymore except on the level where you once again have to make me look bad so that the newest person that is being marketed as the most precious entity in the world will continue holding her title.............It isn't as if you actually give a bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepppp about me or the things that i have had to face, dodge, push through or anything else......the only reason why it matters is so that your newest prodigy can gain worldwide support............If i thought you actually cared, I might try a little harder........................You continue to make things up about me anyway why spend my energy on it anymore as I just wanted to love someone and it seems like you just want to find reasons to not love me...........That doesn't fit my qualifications for someone that I can lean on or trust ever......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Not to say that you should have to be with someone you dont want to be with, Im saying that Im no longer good at letting you destroy an innocent person to get the girl you want............Just be a #$%^&*( man about it, just say to the world that you dont want me, you want her and that your taking the high road by not exposing an innocent soul to further anguish just for you to have the girl of your dreams..........................................If no one sees the selfishness then I guess it doesn't matter anyway as i already gave up when I got to las vegas and my wallet was stolen back on October 12th.......... By the way.................I dont have to "get it" as its my life and I know every portion of it already considering I was there.............As far as my intelligence levels go I am one of the smartest people of the 21st century in my class (not referring to classroom, or economic class, but am referring to those of us that cant hear your thoughts ever) ........................................................................................................................Im done spinning my wheels for a greedy population of people.........deal with it and quit threatening me...............................

I was thinking that maybe I would find a way to deal with the uuber selfish population of people that seem to think that my only function in life is solely to please and benefit them.............I have grown tired of dealing with a population of people that use me as their Jesus and their scapegoat.......I started out loving and caring about people and now its gotten to the point where Im not ever considered in the equation.......they seem to think that I can continue functioning on nothing......and only for their benefit..........only for them to use whatever comes from my efforts in their own lives........they never supply the things that I required to in order to keep going........Im just supposed to slave away with nothing to go on while I watch an entire population pull me in every direction known to mankind.........I require love to keep functioning on the levels that they want from me and they never supply an ounce of it, ever..............I've done the best I can without the one key component that brings me to life.................I have nothing left.............and I cant wait to leave this greedy, free-for-all, planet, behind.............