Im obviously not having sex at the moment just like I havent been having sex for the last five months and seventeen days. Yet, that isnt what youve been led to believe. They show you someones vagina practically every day that isnt mine and will on occasion, super impose images of my face that are placed on someone elses body to make it believable. How am I supposed to fight shit like this? Im pregnant, have bigger problems then having to worry about something like this that shouldnt be my problem. Im tired of dealing with rediculous shit when im about to give birth in a few months.......Laci R Issel (the real one). the one that gets absolutely no credit for anything that is my life and my life only but that someone always barges into right before im at a proverbial finish line at various points in my life, just in time for someone else to be thrown in front of the public and be praised for all my accomplishments. This is the Laci that wrote this entire blog from the time it began..........Laci R Issel.

I have no one.......

No one at all in this life that wont hesitate to use me for someone else or their own personal gain. At all. I'm tired, tired of being used, tired of being forced to be an advocate for causes that I don't even believe in and tired of being abused. Most of all, I'm tired of being separated into five hundred different people that I have to compete with when the only one that it was coming from was me to begin with. If I have a conversation inside, I'm accused of being against the person that I am on the outside. It's like living in mind-fuck central. Every time someone does something awful to me I am accused of doing the very same thing to someone else and people ready to hold me responsible for whatever person they say it happened to when I was the one it happened to. I live in the fucking twilight zone everyday of my life with no relief and people trying to get even and "teach me a lesson" for something that actually happened to me. But because they say it happened to someone else, I'm suddenly the bad guy and have people trying to avenge on behalf of the person they were brainwashed into believing happened to someone it didn't happen to. I'm tired and nothing but traumatized. I'm expected to go through traumatic events 5 and 6 and 7 times when ever some girl claims my life's happenings as her own when she's never even been through it once..................................................................... I'd give up on love if I could but I'm not built any other way than to love but it doesn't seem to matter and how much I love as its always just used to benefit someone else who doesn't even produce the same feelings naturally but everyone is conned into believing that that person is the originator of such things. I am tired of never being able to get away from what was supposed to be a wonderful thing to share with this planet but that is always used to hurt me. My love never hurts someone that isn't even capable of it, it adds to their life many things but for me has abused me in so many unheard of unthinkable ways that I don't even think that the love I had for the people on this planet is useful anymore. If Im constantly being abused for the person I was meant to be so that someone else who isn't even capable of such depths can be promoted then the very thing that was supposed to be the greatest gift of all has now fallen into the wrong hands and is completely useless.......................................................... My love has become commercialized and capitalized on, such as what happened to the holidays. Rather than the holidays being about love, family, friends, togetherness, comfort, and good times all they seem to be at this point is the time of year when you can get something of value for practically nothing........................................................ People have been able to get the most precious gift I had to give now for practically nothing and then turn around and beat, kidnap, rape, pillage, the very person that gave it to them. I'm tired. It all seems pointless and because Im not built to judge or hate I am forever imprisoned where I am only used for the most frivolous shit known to mankind. I haven't had any sexual activity in 5 months and 13 days. I'm not the one that he was with but they wanted you to think that. They keep track of how long or short my pubes are so they can substitute another woman with the like amount of hair that they then always pass off as being me. This is my life. Always being used for someone elses sex life when Im celibate, and almost seven months pregnant while being completely left alone by the male gender that continues to make you believe that they have been giving me love the entire time. I'm no where in the equation ever but you are made to think that I've been loved, cared about and made love to the entire time. I'm not against men but I give up on the ones that I once loved because they all agree to do the same thing to me and do it constantly. I'm numb from having absolutely no man at the end of the day ever, for eleven years. L. R. Issel The picture of this person is of me, the author of this and many other blogsites and of this particular entry on this blog.