I feel like I am fighting a losing battle and just like the song mentions " I forgot what I started fighting for" literally!! as my brain is on its last legs from constant pillaging. They change around results between those of us that are the top contenders to suit their wants or needs or to punish me (since im one of the most intelligent people that has managed to wake up from the matrix) in order to continue to make me bear most of the burdon, work and effort it takes to be me while they credit someone else with what I just spent the last round of months enduring. Basically I never get to reap the benefits of my own efforts, someone else does and they are getting ready to do it to me again. This is only the bazillionth time and im fading fast, my brain is getting irritated (im not speaking as if my brain is another person, I am referring to my brain being "out of juice") and it keeps spacing out where there are large spacial gaps in between recalling of "why did I enter this room again?" or " What was I supposed to remember?". It's been happening all day today which means .... it's been pushed to its limit. And all I cant think about is what it would be like to have someone that loves me, make love to me. (Im not even speaking from a sexual level as much as I am craving a sacred closeness with someone as at this point, there shouldn' t be anymore excuses as to why I am having to "wonder" about it. It should be a reality by now. I mean where are you? I wait for something that never surfaces and one of these days Im going to say ...."forget it!!!!" How long do you think you can string me along to get what you want while providing me with nothing that i want or need. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't wait for someone that i love, it means that Im not a freaken fool.

Laci Renee Issel (the brunette with a scar over her left eyebrow and stretchmarks over the majority of her body from being extrememly obese at one time but now weighs 180lbs) by the way........I dont steal from people, quit threatening my hands as if I had done something I haven't done. Im not taking responsibility for the shit you stole either. I dont know any gang members.