Im obviously not having sex at the moment just like I havent been having sex for the last five months and seventeen days. Yet, that isnt what youve been led to believe. They show you someones vagina practically every day that isnt mine and will on occasion, super impose images of my face that are placed on someone elses body to make it believable. How am I supposed to fight shit like this? Im pregnant, have bigger problems then having to worry about something like this that shouldnt be my problem. Im tired of dealing with rediculous shit when im about to give birth in a few months.......Laci R Issel (the real one). the one that gets absolutely no credit for anything that is my life and my life only but that someone always barges into right before im at a proverbial finish line at various points in my life, just in time for someone else to be thrown in front of the public and be praised for all my accomplishments. This is the Laci that wrote this entire blog from the time it began..........Laci R Issel.

I have no one.......

No one at all in this life that wont hesitate to use me for someone else or their own personal gain. At all. I'm tired, tired of being used, tired of being forced to be an advocate for causes that I don't even believe in and tired of being abused. Most of all, I'm tired of being separated into five hundred different people that I have to compete with when the only one that it was coming from was me to begin with. If I have a conversation inside, I'm accused of being against the person that I am on the outside. It's like living in mind-fuck central. Every time someone does something awful to me I am accused of doing the very same thing to someone else and people ready to hold me responsible for whatever person they say it happened to when I was the one it happened to. I live in the fucking twilight zone everyday of my life with no relief and people trying to get even and "teach me a lesson" for something that actually happened to me. But because they say it happened to someone else, I'm suddenly the bad guy and have people trying to avenge on behalf of the person they were brainwashed into believing happened to someone it didn't happen to. I'm tired and nothing but traumatized. I'm expected to go through traumatic events 5 and 6 and 7 times when ever some girl claims my life's happenings as her own when she's never even been through it once..................................................................... I'd give up on love if I could but I'm not built any other way than to love but it doesn't seem to matter and how much I love as its always just used to benefit someone else who doesn't even produce the same feelings naturally but everyone is conned into believing that that person is the originator of such things. I am tired of never being able to get away from what was supposed to be a wonderful thing to share with this planet but that is always used to hurt me. My love never hurts someone that isn't even capable of it, it adds to their life many things but for me has abused me in so many unheard of unthinkable ways that I don't even think that the love I had for the people on this planet is useful anymore. If Im constantly being abused for the person I was meant to be so that someone else who isn't even capable of such depths can be promoted then the very thing that was supposed to be the greatest gift of all has now fallen into the wrong hands and is completely useless.......................................................... My love has become commercialized and capitalized on, such as what happened to the holidays. Rather than the holidays being about love, family, friends, togetherness, comfort, and good times all they seem to be at this point is the time of year when you can get something of value for practically nothing........................................................ People have been able to get the most precious gift I had to give now for practically nothing and then turn around and beat, kidnap, rape, pillage, the very person that gave it to them. I'm tired. It all seems pointless and because Im not built to judge or hate I am forever imprisoned where I am only used for the most frivolous shit known to mankind. I haven't had any sexual activity in 5 months and 13 days. I'm not the one that he was with but they wanted you to think that. They keep track of how long or short my pubes are so they can substitute another woman with the like amount of hair that they then always pass off as being me. This is my life. Always being used for someone elses sex life when Im celibate, and almost seven months pregnant while being completely left alone by the male gender that continues to make you believe that they have been giving me love the entire time. I'm no where in the equation ever but you are made to think that I've been loved, cared about and made love to the entire time. I'm not against men but I give up on the ones that I once loved because they all agree to do the same thing to me and do it constantly. I'm numb from having absolutely no man at the end of the day ever, for eleven years. L. R. Issel The picture of this person is of me, the author of this and many other blogsites and of this particular entry on this blog.

somebody helps me ONE TIME with somewhere to go and you make it look like ive been this pampered pregnant person. I was so tired from being completely sabotaged lied about and degraded and abused day after day while pregnant, that someone gave me a ride around midvale and brought me to a hotel so that I could sleep because im so exhausted from going and going all the time and on my own trying to secure employment and and appropriate housing all alone with no help or compensation of any kind EVER! and u use the one time someone helps me as a reason to say that im "pampered".......I should have known but didnt. my boss told me not to come to work for the last two days, I got kicked out of a dv shelter for no reason while having an active threat by two different groups of people to beat me until I miscarry my 12 week pregnancy and im exhausted. so you fucking bought the fraud again thinking you were helping me and funny how she had no problem lying her ass off to you to get in with you after I did all the hard stuff. I was the one that hasnt had sex since becoming pregnant and I was the one that didnt want some man pounding away at my vagina while pregnant. im also the one thats been sick consistantly for 3 WEEKS. LACI R ISSEL

Obviously im motified that ive gone through all this hardship once again to be confused with a dishonest lying kniving schemer that would risk your money to "get something she didnt earn while taking advantage of me at twelve weeks pregnant and completely exhausted from the droves of other girls that have done the same thing to me. My name is Laci R Issel (unfortunately, im the actual real life Laci that was born with this name and goes through hell and hi water to survive because being the real one only seems to equal pain, suffering and never ending hardship) Im the woman who has always written this blog as well as the facebook accounts as well as serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com , quallychalet.tumblr.com and countless other blogs throughout the last eleven years. I am the real Laci R Issel that is in this photo with this motel recept. This has been one of the first times I have allowed someone to do anything for me and only allowed it based on being two exhausted to pass up he lp this time. Laci r issel

I hate my life

All week this has been me on the inside. You justkeep treating me like your little soldier girl chess piece toy that doesnt have my own plans in life while you completely overlook and disregard my feelings as you have the nerve to try and arrange marriage me off to men im not even remotely interested in as if im some sort of overseas mailorder bride. Lets put it this way, if you didnt ask me yourself and I didnt agree, we are not getting married. I am not just gonna marry some stranger that I just met, nor am I marrying any past love interest/boyfriend that ive already moved on from years and years ago (MARC ARNAUD!-not to be confused with mark zuckerburg of which I was never under some false fantasy/delusion that I was with-unlikewhat you reported to the world.).... Although I still worry and care about many individuals in the world, id appreciate it if you'd stop removing me out of the entire equation of my own life at all times when you so selfishly assume that my actions/clothing/geography has anything to do with you. Also, after eleven years of poverty, stop assuming I work for you when you dont pay me. You pay another woman $200/chore that I complete at a shelter when im at one.....that equals $6000/month that you pay another person for my energy expenditure everytime I stay somewhere for a month and do my chore. You make me live off $750/mo while you pay another woman $6000 to capitolize on the forced hardship you make me endure so another selfish bitch can get something for nothing. I dont know which woman this is that is capitolizing on me in this manner but seriously it doesnt and shouldnt fucking matter. The point is that she should be required to put some effort into her own life for monetary compensation as im forced to put in all the effort into my own life w ithout any compensation at all (SLAVERY NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY TO DRESS IT UP AND PASS IT OFF AS SOMETHING ELSE). And yes, ive known about it since August 2013 Laci R Issel

I've also never been a strict person and am not a fruad in my own life. Never have I believed in strict parenting EVER!!!!!!! i dont believe in raising laxidazical rude children but I believe in them having a wonderful childhood full of learning and room to explore their own attributes and grow. Im tired of you making a fool out of me....I went to look for rooms for rent and you treated me like i was going from house to house fucking people...not only that but some guy got down on one knee in front of me today and as usual, since I didn't know him, I assumed it was a joke or "the eye" for the female that actually went to my old address in San Mateo on Hamlet Street where you actually insulted me by having the fraud proposed to in my old bedroom that is an add on in the back yard to the rest of the house. Im mortified.....Im mortified that the world is in love with me and instead this fruad is living my life including going to my old residences claiming to have lived there and being proposed to because they think she is the real me.......MORTIFIED!!!!!!!!!! i DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO MARRY ME IF THEY DONT WANT TO MARRY ME BUT TO LIE TO THE WORLD AND PASS THIS PERSON OFF AS ME IN ALL MY OLD CHILDHOOD PLACES IS GOING TO FAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LACI iSSEL LAC

Ok so you are going to keep lying about everything until you get your way. Let me put it to you this way. Everytime you fucking threaten or blackmail me its going on the internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTIME.......I AM SICK OF YOUR SHIT TO THE POINT WHERE I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO LOSE, I ALREADY HAVE HITS ON MY LIFE FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN YOUR LIES!!!!! So here you go, no arranged marriage is happening of any sort. .... i am not giving away my things to charity because you fucking lied about me (things i paid for with my income that you said were bought as a result of a "payday" you thought you could convince the world that i had intended on using my first born son for).....I am not allowing you to continue to keep me unemployed anymore by using my interviews to aid another rediculous no moral having bitch that is willing to lie and say were her words, I am not going to fucking starve for you ever again as I already put in my starvation time (7 1/2 months of a pregnancy with my first born son silus where while I was pregnant you were telling the same things to people that you are now---that I was jealous of some other pregnant person and that i was inventing a pregnancy in order to be a part of her world, as well as that i was using someone elses pregnancy in order to eat...your doing the same thing to me now when Im close to eleven weeks pregnant.) I also starved while I wasn't pregnant for extended periods of time off and on over an eleven year period but I guess conveniently the cameras weren't rolling then were they? Also, you telling people that I am coming (orgasming) in various places is complete fiction and isn't fucking me as I am so fucking sick from morning sickness that the last thing I am into is sex!!!!!! I am tired of being portrayed as some sort of sexual predator because you want to fuck the girl of your choice and be able to come so you blame your sex act on me, change up the location you say it happened in and then try to tell me that I am some sort of pedifile coming in front of children that you give access to me in private confines. I am not joining the military as I have had to deal with nothing other than harsh regiment for 11 years so far and never in a million years will you be "enlisting" me or my unborn child into it. (You have another thing coming) I have never gotten physical with or attacked anyone in my entire life but Im warning you to stop pushing me as I am seriously at the point where I am being threatened by everyone on different sides because of your careless fucking lies that you think are harmless that add up and after a certain period of time become an avalanche headed right for me. I love and care about the planet, always have and started doing various things a long time ago that allieviated peoples stress and credit was given to the wrong individuals but you have taken the kindness of my heart and turned it into something that is absolutely mandatory or there will be consequences that you routinely try to enforce in my life (something you care nothing about). I am done with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make no mistake, there will be no more anything for you and i wont even lose any sleep about dropping you like the bad habit that you are!!!!!!! I have had it!!!!!!! You do nothing but abuse the very person that has loved and helped you all along and Im not giving you another milisecond of my life or anymore of my time. I have hardly any time left obviously as you have thanked my struggles for you with death, sabotage, institutionalization and false imprisonment.....I no longer anguish over people that dont even consider me a person with feelings because the only person you think matters in life is you.......You lie about everything about me. You say that I don't pay for my train/bus/max tickets you say that I shoot cum from my vagina and then video tape another female that does and pass it off as me, you humiliate me in the most inhumane ways and make people scared of and embarassed of me for no reason, you lie about everything. You change my results of my aptitude tests out with another female at all times making people think that I am in the 20 & 30%tile range when my actual scores are ALWAYS in the 90percentile range. You've systematically destroyed and ruined my life and I am miserable at all times due to the fact that my life is in ruins for no reason....you lied about sexual fantasies you said that I had about wanting a "daddy" figure in my life and that I wanted to be raped. Your lies have limited me and kept me in a warped fucking reality that nobody even half way normal deserves.....and you've done all of this just to get your girl or man of choice in with elite groups and organizations and to help them acheive celebrityism. I have nothing left of myself as you have milked me dry of any possible attribute I naturally had and passed it off as the attributes of so many other people that I couldn't possibly count. I am gonna do what I want when I want as my time on earth draws to a close and I mean to you that although I still care about the world I am not the one that is hurting it nor am I responsible for anyones suffering as I dont hurt people ever.....I am tireed of the entire thing and my kid is staying with me and its father provided that I dont find out that the father is some sort of bad person. ...I am not marrying anyone or agreeing to marry anyone by any of my actions or lack of actions. The only marriage will be a consential one where the actual man that wants to marry me asks me himself........Laci Issel

How much more can I show you how much I have run out of patience for this entire shananigan circus side-show that the world is caught up in but that is practically killing me slowly without any humaneness at all. How much more can I tell you that I just dont care about your wants, your needs, your problems and basically anything that you sobb about while having a house, a car, a family, friends, actual credit cards, the abilty to prosper and grow, time for events that bring additional happiness to your already full lives while you expect my continued misery while you never even consider me as a person, while you never even include me in an equation that literally only includes me, while you threaten harass and keep me homeless, while you lie and say that I am making up a pregnancy that is very real because you say Im jealous of some other girl that isn't even pregnant but the world is being made to believe that my pregnancy is hers...........how much more is it that you think I can handle of everything that is technically of my life you crediting to someone else, while you openly mock and humiliate the very person you have so much respect for, how many more times will you hear via radio that I am the most loving kind caring individual think that Im her when you hear me and then turn around and treat me like the scum of the earth that she actually is.......how much more of this shit do you really think Im gonna endure and I ask you a logical question one more fucking time, what the fuck is it that you think is in it for me? There has been nothing in it for me ever, I started all this eleven years ago to help people because i loved, cared and worried extensively about the population of earth but now you've taken someones kind actions and have actually turned me into some sort of hiddeous thing that you've painted such an erroneous reputation for that I no longer want to help you actually destroy me.......I've been done with you for quite awhile and yet still have extended myself repeatedly because your guilt trips have actually worked on my still soft heart on occassion but one day I wont be around for you to harass, antagonize, threaten, penalyze, lie about and slowly and methodically kill over an extended time period untill you "get your way" so you dont have to "give up your comforts"....one day I'll be gone and who the fuck is gonna fall for your spoiled brat shit then..........Laci Issel, Lac

By the way, it wasn't a dud. Had the button actually been pushed, MY HEAD WOULD HAVE EXPLODED BECAUSE THE PERSON THAT YOU THINK HAS A DUD, DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING AT ALL TO BE CONCERNED ABOUT. aS USUAL YOUR CONCERN WAS DIRECTED TOWARD THE PERSON THAT EVERYONE WANTED TO BE CODDLED AND WORRIED ABOUT BUT THAT THERE IS NO DANGER OF HAVING ANYTHING HAPPEN WITH BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T EVEN HAVE THE MECHANISM...iT WAS ANOTHER STUNT TO MAKE YOU CRY AND VALUE SOMEONE THAT YOU HAVE BEEN BRAINWASHED INTO THINKING IS THE REAL THING THAT IS NOW RULING YOUR WORLDS TO SOLIDIFY THE MADE UP SCENARIO THAT HAS NOW BECOME THE BIGGEST ACTUAL HOAX OF THE 21ST CENTURY.....iM THE REAL THING AND IM THE ONE TO WORRY ABOUT BUT YOU WERE TOLD ALL THIS MADE UP SHIT TO MAKE YOU BELIEVE THE CROCK OF REDICULOUS SHIT YOU NOW CONSIDER FACT........yOU THINK ABOUT IT, BECAUSE PERSONALLY i DONT GIVE A SHIT ANYMORE, MY LIFE IS DESTROYED THANKS TO THE MANY FIASCOS THAT WENT INTO CREATING A FALSE PROFIT THAT YOU ALL HAVE COME TO BELIEVE WAS GENUINE BUT THAT WAS JUST USING ME AND MY LIFE TO BUILD THE EMPIRE SHE NOW RULES THANKS TO CAREFUL AND WITHOUT END MANIPULATIONS OF FACTS, EVENTS AND OF COURSE TRUTH. iM NOT EVEN AFRAID OF THE BUTTON BEING PUSHED BECAUSE THEN i DONT HAVE TO ENDURE THIS SHIT FOR ANOTHER DAY. i HAVE NO RESPECT FOR PRACTICALLY ANYONE ANYMORE SO i WOULDN'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY ON ANY END OF THE SPECTRUM BECAUSE i AM MORTIFIED THAT ANY OF THIS SHIT IS ACTUALLY WASTING ANYONE'S TIME. i HAVE NOTHING LEFT AND AM BEYOND DEPRESSED-WHO THE HELL WOULDN'T BE-LOOK AT THE KIND OF THINGS THAT I AM UP AGAINST ALL DAY EVERY DAY WITHOUT ANYONE OR ANYTHING AT ALL. i HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE SO WHO GIVES A FUCK SO THE ONE PIECE OF ADVISE i DO HAVE FOR YOU IS ....... TRY TO WATCH IT WHEN IT COMES TO ME BECAUSE ALTHOUGH i HAVE NEVER LASHED OUT OR ATTACKED AN ACTUAL PERSON ON PURPOSE ON THIS EARTH EVER, DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU JUST HAVE THIS LICSENCE THAT YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO TEST THE THEORY.....AFTER ALL, I AM AND HAVE BEEN SICK OF YOUR SHIT FOR QUITE AWHILE (YEARS) BUT HAVE BEEN ENDURING IT WITH THE END NOTION THAT MAYBE YOUR SELFISH PRICK ASS WOULD FINALLY SEE THAT LOVE COULD TURN THINGS AROUND BUT i GIVE UP AND YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE (SEEMS LIKE VERY FEW KNOW HOW) AND i AM NOT IMPLYING THAT YOU HAVE TO TAKE ON MY BELIEFS iM JUST SAYING THAT i THOUGHT IF I HELD OUT LONG ENOUGH THAT YOU WOULD REALIZE THAT I WANTED YOU TO HAVE THE THINGS YOU WANTED TO HAVE ALL ALONG BUT THAT I DESERVED ALSO THE RIGHT TO PROSPER AND AMOUNT TO SOMETHING, BUT IM TIRED OF HOLDING OUT FOR SOMETHING THAT OBVIOUSLY ISN'T HAPPENING, SO i'VE TAKEN ALL THE ABUSE IM GONNA TAKE FROM U IS WHAT iM SAYING, SO ULTIMATELY YOU EITHER FIND ANOTHER FUCKING HOBBIE OTHER THAN TEARING MY LIFE APART AND SELLING IT OFF IN SEGMENTS AND PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSING ME OR i QUIT ON YOU PERMANATELY. LIKE I SAID THERE IS AND HAS BEEN NOTHING IN IT FOR ME. Laci Issel Lac 1:03