As usual, I didn't mention that when i posted the photo of my inverted nipples, it wasn't an attempt at being a playboy centerfold (Which im sure is your next fucking rediculous accusation that you plan on aiming at me for purposes to shoot me down only to try and make it a humiliation fest, just like you do with everything.) I didn't do it to impress you and even having to state this point is the entire reason Im pretty irritated about having to exist on this planet with people that ALWAYS miss the point. The point being that I shouldn't have ever had to post this picture but im so sick of the bitch that continues to pass everything of me off as hers that this is my last attempt to get someone to fucking come to their senses because Im fucking tired of living in the shadows of someone that isn't doing shit but getting further and further ahead using everything about me and my life. I'm tired of everyone at the moment and all the way around all the tactics used to get a fucking fraud the actual fruits of my labor that waits around for me to blog so she can be credited with it. I am not being "cool" for you ever if you have used my life in anyway to acheive something that you should have been able to get on your own considering you've had all the love and friends and resources in the god damn world in which to draw upon but you chose instead to leach off of me...someone that had no one, nothing, and nil....Im not in a good mood and Im tired of being stalked by fucking anyone!!!!! I am trying to build a life, I am 39 years old and wanted some sort of normal with people that were craving the same things that I was...Instead, once again I am caught up in a bunch of twenty something wanna be pimp rap game once again because they wont fucking leave me alone and continue to treat me like they are doing me some sort of "favor" by treating a 39 year old woman like a wannabe hoe that is trying to land them or be with them somehow. I was craving something else. I have nothing against rap but I am sick of dealing with this twenty something pimp brigade everywhere I go when Im eight months pregnant and trying to build a life and find people I can relate to. Laci Issel

Another bad picture of me. I hold the other girl personally responsible for having to post the last picture of my exposed breast that I took for someone a long time ago that I loved.\ So I tried to attatch a photo to this blog while typing this entry at the homeless shelter but someone has put something in the works that prevents me from uploading my photo from my email account (other emails i have sent with my pictures attatched to them) The entry before, was typed at the library down the street where I was able to access my dropbox.com photos to post the inverted nipple photo.

As I re-read the last couple of entries it has come to my attention, as usual, that someone has already copyright infringed on these entries and is, of course, using them to describe me rather than take responsibility for what they've been doing TO me. Its an ingenious plan, wait for me to write about it and then pass it off as yours on another "media attentioned" blog site as your own words. You make me sick, the shit you get away with and the laws that always seem to mysteriously bend for you while I am left with a rediculously false reputation that includes always being accused of another crime while your either fucking another man that I had loved with all my heart or while your being thrown a party for all of MY accomplishments!!!!!! The only thing I have is that I hope there is a REAL supernatural being, along the lines of what I hope is the real God that will fucking wipe you the fuck out one day for all the greedy shit you did to an innocent soul who worked her ass off so that (unbenknownst to me) you could parade around the fucking planet going to parties, being invited to the white house for my accomplishments and then being made love to by everyman that is sooooo taken by the amazement he feels about ME but was told was you. You are truly pathetic and I guess Im just getting to tired of your shit to continue sticking up for someone that robbs me of peace, happiness and sanity every damn day of my life. Im not even a holy roller, Im just sick of you reaping all the rewards for all my tears. The real Laci Issel ( with inverted nipples and a scar on the underside of my toe)

This is me world, inverted nipples (this is what they look like) and all.....like I said Im so tired of being used. Laci Issel (The real one with inverted nipples)

This is a picture of the real me.......ive had to leave two states already to try and get some solace and peace away from stalkers that mistake my presence on this earth as a mealticket.....im beyond not happy being stalked from place to place when im eight months pregnant and literally trying to establish a life of some sort before I end up giving birth. im not gonna stay in the state that im currently in tonight because I had planned a destination this morning but had to stop for the day due to being way to tired and pregnant to keep going, but while stopping at a hotel was tipped off that another female plans on stalking me to the destination I had thought for sure no one would think to go to because I am ultimately seriously attempting to build some sort of life for this baby and she keeps intruding into everything I do. she wont back off me or my life and doesnt seem to get the hint when I leave one location to get away from her.....Its like she assumes its some sort of open invitation to compete when im not doing this to compete. Im only ending up where I end up in a desparate attempt to get away from unwanted people in my life that never stop treating me like they have some right to be in my life to abuse me, as if they have the right to give me ultimatums, and treat me like im on this planet to be devoted to their causes and all while im trying to establish stability for my unborn child!!!!!! Someone put me in a hotel room tonight, of which I am extremely greatful and I thank him profusely (hes a man that has been married over forty years that seems to have a great family and a great heart. This kind of occurrance is rare though as I always pay for everything on my own but am exhausted carrying the gender role of a man when im a woman so this time I agreed to allow a man to step in and help me financially when it came to an inexpensive hotel room.....my point is this.......how come im the only one that seems to see a problem with the fact that I have been unable to secure a life for myself in any of the locations I have tried to build a life without some stranger (whether it be a woman or a man) coming along and deciding that my life is up for competion? Notice how its always my life that gets put on the aquisitions table as you never hear about me trying to "compete" for someone elses life because I just wanted what came from me and my own efforts. Im sick of this being something that is acceptable to everyone. I literally cannot go anywhere without a group of people thinking that its some sort of game and anything that I had planned on for me and the baby's life just gets thrown out the window for a group of people I asked repeatedly to just leave me alone....but they won't....never do they just leave me alone to rebuild my life after the shambles its been in since they started treating me like their personal gold rush.....im tired of them, it isnt a game to me and an entire eight months of pregnancy has been wasted and stressed to the depths of despair because they wouldnt stop leaching from my life, calling my unborn child a joke, treating me like my every action was to land and date a man that I wasnt even trying to get and not allowing me to work a job w/out ruining it and convincng my employers to fire me because they said I was a groupie......now, the only thing I had left is once again ruined because she found out where I was going and I only have about 6 weeks left nefore I give birth to an unborn child that has had the most stressed out development known to mankind. im angry, I dont take makng a baby lightly and im tired of being run into the ground because some person wants to score off my life.

Laci Issel (im starting to just completely give up thinking that I can ever have a normal life)

These are things that I randomly write while im on the search bar of google or other search engines at times and this is not on behalf of someone else, it's always been my writing.

why do you require me to be a pedifile and consistantly say that I am the recipient of funds (hundreds of dollars through out the week that is going somewhere but never to me as I don't get paid for any of the fucking effort I ever expend) i never recieve just to support my old high school friend as I had to take her name out of the blog for safety purposes???????????????? Why am i always having to accept a negative reputation to not even be included in the lives i care about the most. You act like there is something in it for me but if you take a closer look at what your asking you'll see that every person i try to love you expect me to carry around a massive burden constantly but never require them to diminish their lives, finances, entertainment, love, or anything at all just to have me not even be included in their lives at all......you never stop asking me to hurt or add responsibility while you discreetely make their lives easier and easier. My life just keeps getting worse and worse and you've taken so much away from me that there is literally nothing left of me at all....writen by the real Laci Issel with inverted nipples and a suture scar on my toe (wont tell you which one for fear that you'll just try to fucking recreate it on a god damn fraud like you always do-remember putting the skinny fraud version of me through an actual surgery to try and recreate my diagonal scar over my eyebrow asshole) Im not jealous or drunk. Im sick of history and the present being rerouted to suit someones fucking greed. Jealousy is a trait that people have that have been allowed to have a somewhat normal existance and then they just one day dont get their way. I don't have anything that remotely resembles that kind of reality, I live on borrowed time every fucking day due to the extent of all the lies told to get someone that has always had a gazillion times more than me,"additional" notariety, opportunities, resources, love, affection, a bigger house a nicer car, what ever the fuck frivilous shit....Im lucky to get through the day unscathed by physical abuse. I never get through any day at all without being threatened for the sake of someone else and you pollute my existance with proving to you whether or not Im jealous. Jealousy is a luxery that I have never had because Im actually too busy going through real life shit that i didn't create for myself but that was created for me with intentention of destroying me and despite the fact that i'd love to give up, something inside me doesn't let me and that is the real curse that I live with everyday of my life no matter how you try to add to it, I literally don't know how to give up. You stick to your petty worries about who's jealous of who and I'll try to find a way to end the massive suffering that's been placed on me and the constant stress you've had circulating through my beyond fucking tired body and soul for the last eleven years. Writen by the real Laci Issel (the one with inverted nipples, and a suture scar on the underside of my toe).......and remember ......Im forced to keep walking around on this planet when I was done a long time ago with absolutely nothing to look forward to ever....nothing......because you take everything away from me and give it to another.......I've been tired for so long but your not done milking me and trying to pawn all your hideous rediculous actions off as my fault so I just linger and hang by a thread alive, but barely breathing......

And right about now is when they show you a video of some woman being fisted in the vagina (my guess is with an image of my face super imposed on whatever woman is having this done and this is my "punishment" as I am not allowed the things they are allowed, such as the right to defend myself or the right to have my own feelings about the dirty underhanded tactics that they pull to get their way because ultimately they really are so insecure about the world finding out the fucking orchestrations they've been pulling off for the last year as so fucking bogus that the world would basically hold them in contempt of everything reasonable on the earth that they continue to "punish" me directly after using the hell out of me for some other super rich asshole that already has everything he could ever want on earth.----oh and brace yourself the next tactic they will attempt is to show you illeagally taken video tape footage from seventeen years ago of me and my ex-boyfriend Jacob's kinky sex where we were role playing in bed because we were sexually fucking insane with each other and they like to drag that video out all the time to try and humiliate me and my ex and my father because they wanted it to look like I was talking about my father when we were not referring to my actual father at all but see they've gotten so much mileage from this that they don't ever actually give me a chance to tell you my side of things because everything is geared in their favor.....they show a video, take it out of context and then don't bother giving me an opportunity to tell you what was really going on........What was really going on back then is that I was with my ex for close to six years and I trusted him with my body and my sex life and we were both young horney and willing to fucking explore whatever the fuck came our way that we felt comfortable with. He was practically my husband and Im sick of you being made to think that I am some sort of freak of nature for participating in my own sexual revolution......I have never made someone feel unwelcome or put them on trial for things they did in there past, let alone for seventeen years straight asshole!!!!!!!! Laci Issel (the real one with inverted nipples)

Im obviously not having sex at the moment just like I havent been having sex for the last five months and seventeen days. Yet, that isnt what youve been led to believe. They show you someones vagina practically every day that isnt mine and will on occasion, super impose images of my face that are placed on someone elses body to make it believable. How am I supposed to fight shit like this? Im pregnant, have bigger problems then having to worry about something like this that shouldnt be my problem. Im tired of dealing with rediculous shit when im about to give birth in a few months.......Laci R Issel (the real one). the one that gets absolutely no credit for anything that is my life and my life only but that someone always barges into right before im at a proverbial finish line at various points in my life, just in time for someone else to be thrown in front of the public and be praised for all my accomplishments. This is the Laci that wrote this entire blog from the time it began..........Laci R Issel.

I have no one.......

No one at all in this life that wont hesitate to use me for someone else or their own personal gain. At all. I'm tired, tired of being used, tired of being forced to be an advocate for causes that I don't even believe in and tired of being abused. Most of all, I'm tired of being separated into five hundred different people that I have to compete with when the only one that it was coming from was me to begin with. If I have a conversation inside, I'm accused of being against the person that I am on the outside. It's like living in mind-fuck central. Every time someone does something awful to me I am accused of doing the very same thing to someone else and people ready to hold me responsible for whatever person they say it happened to when I was the one it happened to. I live in the fucking twilight zone everyday of my life with no relief and people trying to get even and "teach me a lesson" for something that actually happened to me. But because they say it happened to someone else, I'm suddenly the bad guy and have people trying to avenge on behalf of the person they were brainwashed into believing happened to someone it didn't happen to. I'm tired and nothing but traumatized. I'm expected to go through traumatic events 5 and 6 and 7 times when ever some girl claims my life's happenings as her own when she's never even been through it once..................................................................... I'd give up on love if I could but I'm not built any other way than to love but it doesn't seem to matter and how much I love as its always just used to benefit someone else who doesn't even produce the same feelings naturally but everyone is conned into believing that that person is the originator of such things. I am tired of never being able to get away from what was supposed to be a wonderful thing to share with this planet but that is always used to hurt me. My love never hurts someone that isn't even capable of it, it adds to their life many things but for me has abused me in so many unheard of unthinkable ways that I don't even think that the love I had for the people on this planet is useful anymore. If Im constantly being abused for the person I was meant to be so that someone else who isn't even capable of such depths can be promoted then the very thing that was supposed to be the greatest gift of all has now fallen into the wrong hands and is completely useless.......................................................... My love has become commercialized and capitalized on, such as what happened to the holidays. Rather than the holidays being about love, family, friends, togetherness, comfort, and good times all they seem to be at this point is the time of year when you can get something of value for practically nothing........................................................ People have been able to get the most precious gift I had to give now for practically nothing and then turn around and beat, kidnap, rape, pillage, the very person that gave it to them. I'm tired. It all seems pointless and because Im not built to judge or hate I am forever imprisoned where I am only used for the most frivolous shit known to mankind. I haven't had any sexual activity in 5 months and 13 days. I'm not the one that he was with but they wanted you to think that. They keep track of how long or short my pubes are so they can substitute another woman with the like amount of hair that they then always pass off as being me. This is my life. Always being used for someone elses sex life when Im celibate, and almost seven months pregnant while being completely left alone by the male gender that continues to make you believe that they have been giving me love the entire time. I'm no where in the equation ever but you are made to think that I've been loved, cared about and made love to the entire time. I'm not against men but I give up on the ones that I once loved because they all agree to do the same thing to me and do it constantly. I'm numb from having absolutely no man at the end of the day ever, for eleven years. L. R. Issel The picture of this person is of me, the author of this and many other blogsites and of this particular entry on this blog.

somebody helps me ONE TIME with somewhere to go and you make it look like ive been this pampered pregnant person. I was so tired from being completely sabotaged lied about and degraded and abused day after day while pregnant, that someone gave me a ride around midvale and brought me to a hotel so that I could sleep because im so exhausted from going and going all the time and on my own trying to secure employment and and appropriate housing all alone with no help or compensation of any kind EVER! and u use the one time someone helps me as a reason to say that im "pampered".......I should have known but didnt. my boss told me not to come to work for the last two days, I got kicked out of a dv shelter for no reason while having an active threat by two different groups of people to beat me until I miscarry my 12 week pregnancy and im exhausted. so you fucking bought the fraud again thinking you were helping me and funny how she had no problem lying her ass off to you to get in with you after I did all the hard stuff. I was the one that hasnt had sex since becoming pregnant and I was the one that didnt want some man pounding away at my vagina while pregnant. im also the one thats been sick consistantly for 3 WEEKS. LACI R ISSEL

Obviously im motified that ive gone through all this hardship once again to be confused with a dishonest lying kniving schemer that would risk your money to "get something she didnt earn while taking advantage of me at twelve weeks pregnant and completely exhausted from the droves of other girls that have done the same thing to me. My name is Laci R Issel (unfortunately, im the actual real life Laci that was born with this name and goes through hell and hi water to survive because being the real one only seems to equal pain, suffering and never ending hardship) Im the woman who has always written this blog as well as the facebook accounts as well as serenabeanfeld.blogspot.com , quallychalet.tumblr.com and countless other blogs throughout the last eleven years. I am the real Laci R Issel that is in this photo with this motel recept. This has been one of the first times I have allowed someone to do anything for me and only allowed it based on being two exhausted to pass up he lp this time. Laci r issel